Caprice Crane's Blog, page 92

Hi,I've followed you on Twitter for a little while and added you here - but I know absolutely nothing about you (gathered you have written a couple of books). Who is your mother that someone would recognize (and remember recognizing) in 198

Her name is Oprah. Winfrey? Maybe you've heard of her.

I'm just kidding. It's not Oprah. Do you remember the "Where's the beef" commercials?

I do too. Those were funny. Remember the lady in those commercials? That's not my mom either.

So I'm writing an article for a company and the topic is about liquid asphalt. Yeah, liquid asphalt. Have you ever heard of such a thing as liquid asphalt? I still don't really know much about it, but it sounds frigging awesome. Like something you'd see in

Y to the e-s. YES!

What is your favorite childhood memory?

This one time…at band camp…

If you were really mad at someone, would you throw a pastry at them or a small mammal?

Really tough call. Can I feed the mammal the pastry and then hurl it?

#no mammals were harmed in the making of this answer

What'd you have for lunch?

Just the salt from my tears. And now I'm retaining water from the salt. Therefore…more tears. And we come full circle.

You never come to band practice anymore, are you to busy for "Air Quotes"? We really need your air flute, otherwise we're just "Quotes" and my mom already made the shirts that say "Air Quotes". Plus our tour with Ace of Base and Two Live Crew starts next w

I am never too busy to rock.

Never.

But I don't play the "Air Flute." When I signed up for the band I said I'd play the "Air Triangle." I think you have me confused with another band's member. Eh, band member. But I'm ready for the tour. My manager will be forwarding my rider any day now. Follow it to the letter. If my dressing room is not fully stocked with cookies, scented candles (vanilla), at least two hookers and one Rubik's Cube I quit the tour.

You never come to band practice anymore, are you to busy for "Air Quotes"? We really need your air flute, otherwise we're just "Quotes" and my mom already made the shirts that say "Air Quotes". Plus our tour with Ace of Base and Two Live Crew starts next w

I am never too busy to rock.

Never.

But I don't play the "Air Flute." When I signed up for the band I said I'd play the "Air Triangle." I think you have me confused with another band's member. Eh, band member. But I'm ready for the tour. My manager will be forwarding my rider any day now. Follow it to the letter. If my dressing room is not fully stocked with cookies, scented candles (vanilla), at least two hookers and one Rubik's Cube I quit the tour.

You never come to band practice anymore, are you to busy for "Air Quotes"? We really need your air flute, otherwise we're just "Quotes" and my mom already made the shirts that say "Air Quotes". Plus our tour with Ace of Base and Two Live Crew starts next w

I am never too busy to rock.

Never.

But I don't play the "Air Flute." When I signed up for the band I said I'd play the "Air Triangle." I think you have me confused with another band's member. Eh, band member. But I'm ready for the tour. My manager will be forwarding my rider any day now. Follow it to the letter. If my dressing room is not fully stocked with cookies, scented candles (vanilla), at least two hookers and one Rubik's Cube I quit the tour.

You never come to band practice anymore, are you to busy for "Air Quotes"? We really need your air flute, otherwise we're just "Quotes" and my mom already made the shirts that say "Air Quotes". Plus our tour with Ace of Base and Two Live Crew starts next w

I am never too busy to rock.

Never.

But I don't play the "Air Flute." When I signed up for the band I said I'd play the "Air Triangle." I think you have me confused with another band's member. Eh, band member. But I'm ready for the tour. My manager will be forwarding my rider any day now. Follow it to the letter. If my dressing room is not fully stocked with cookies, scented candles (vanilla), at least two hookers and one Rubik's Cube I quit the tour.

You never come to band practice anymore, are you to busy for "Air Quotes"? We really need your air flute, otherwise we're just "Quotes" and my mom already made the shirts that say "Air Quotes". Plus our tour with Ace of Base and Two Live Crew starts next w

I am never too busy to rock.

Never.

But I don't play the "Air Flute." When I signed up for the band I said I'd play the "Air Triangle." I think you have me confused with another band's member. Eh, band member. But I'm ready for the tour. My manager will be forwarding my rider any day now. Follow it to the letter. If my dressing room is not fully stocked with cookies, scented candles (vanilla), at least two hookers and one Rubik's Cube I quit the tour.