Caprice Crane's Blog, page 66

Hi Caprice,I'm a doctor (trust me) and I'm wondering if you're sexually active.Dr. Brentcetera, MD

No, I just lay there. (ba dum bum!)

Funny, my last tweet about me going into graphic detail whenever a doctor asks me that question lost me a couple followers. Prudes!

If only they knew I haven't actually been on a real date or even kissed anybody in 7 months. Good times.

I wish I could live up to my tweet, Dr. Brent, but my sad little romantic life (or lack thereof) provides zero fodder.

The headline is, of course, divine. And you can read the entire...

The headline is, of course, divine. And you can read the entire excerpt here, but I'll tell you ahead of time the best part is when he asks Paris how she plans to smuggle the drugs, which are in a Camel cigarette box:

"She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch."

It's the little...

Many of you may remember the time Vanilla Ice was on an MTV show...

Many of you may remember the time Vanilla Ice was on an MTV show and trashed the studio. (See video here for proof.) The show was called "25 Lame," and MTV was calling out the 25 lamest videos of all time. The number one worst video that anyone had ever seen was Ice Ice Baby and we were retiring that video forever after this final airing. We had Vanilla Ice on to personally put that puppy out of it's (our) misery. Little known fact: I wrote that show. And I was there when he went batshit...

If you are named Olivia, this is the perfect baby shower cake...

If you are named Olivia, this is the perfect baby shower cake for you.

Happy Labor Day!

I love this woman. I want to do a buddy comedy with her....

I love this woman. I want to do a buddy comedy with her. I'll say "I'm too old for this shit," while she gets us into random shenanigans.

Cool! Apple Unveils New Products!

I haven't seen nerds this excited since [some dork:]* nailed [some hot chick:].

* Note to dorks everywhere. These guys are all very rich musicians. Don't fool yourselves.

ASK MAX

Oh look! Max has posted this week's column. And he answers pressing questions from some of our best friends here on tumblr!

http://www.capricecrane.com/askmax

Send in your questions so Max can keep busy!

Let this dog earn his keep for Pete's sake!

Also, who is Pete?

"John Cusack Calls for 'Satanic Death' of Fox News, GOP Leaders."

…will play message on boom box he holds over his head.

We're sad for our friends Samantha and Cadillac....

We're sad for our friends Samantha and Cadillac. We're sad for all who are suffering because of today.

Move over "trendy hot spots." The Cocoon Disco is...

Move over "trendy hot spots." The Cocoon Disco is the place to be.