Lara Krupicka's Blog, page 15

Meal Planning, Pet Choosing, and Other Helps for Moms

Today I’m staring down two bushels of apples waiting to be cooked and pureed. That can only mean one thing: it’s fall. Cranking out our own fresh applesauce is a favorite (if time-consuming) tradition in our household. We also love jumping in leaf piles and visiting corn mazes. There’s so much to savor about autumn. […]

When “Super Moms” Make You Feel Small

I’m waiting at a stoplight when I see one again: that oval sticker on the back of a minivan that says “26.2” (or sometimes “13.1″). Are you tired of those yet? Because I am. And not because I think those who have completed a marathon don’t deserve to boast. They do. Completing a 26.2 mile […]

Living Into Your Longings

Sometimes as parents, and especially as moms, we deny ourselves the fulfillment of our longings. We mistake being a good parent with making life all about our kids, as if every one of our hopes has (or will) come true in them. Or we believe we don’t have or don’t deserve the space, time, energy, […]

8 Articles to Make This A Great School Year

If you aren’t aware, I’m a parenting journalist and my articles appear every month in parenting publications around the U.S. and Canada. This month you can bridge the back-to-school transition and overcome a variety of school year issues thanks to the hints and tips I’ve gathered from experts in these eight articles:

By now you probably have your kids’ backpacks all stocked. But if you’re still hunting down that one last illusive school supply, check out my article: “School Supplies: Hard to Find? Where to Look” in the August issue of Volusia Parent.

Having a hard time getting kids dressed and out the door because of wardrobe issues? Read “Good Kids, Bad Outfits” in MetroKids.

And if those issues (or others) stem from a bit of fastidiousness on the part of your child, learn how to bring out the best and stem off the challenges of this personality trait in “Parenting a Perfectionist” in Valley Parent.

Once school gets out for the day what are your kids up to? Still struggling to find an after school activity that suits your offspring, then you might want to read, “It’s a Match” found in Genessee Valley Parent.

And then there’s the topic of homework. Before you start pulling your hair out during long drawn out study sessions, see what moms and experts advise in “Halt the Homework Hassles”, courtesy of Birmingham Parent.

Oh, and when you’re finally sitting down to dinner together – after all the schlepping to and from activities and wrangling of homework – before you ask the standard, “How was your day at school?” you might want to dip into my “Get the Words Flowing” article offering 21 alternative questions for dinnertime conversation in Space Coast Parent.

Stressing out about sports and your kids’ future in athletics? I offer a bit of perspective in my essay, “Good Enough is Good Enough” on page 10 of Family Times Magazine.

Lastly, and just for grins, do some reminiscing while you compare and contrast your school days with those of your kids as I share the differences in “School Then and Now” in August’s issue of The Parent Notebook.

Happy School Year 2013! Make this the best one yet. And make the most of each and every day!

Lara

Turn Back-to-School Blues into a Promise For the Future

It’s school time again. I find that among the moms I talk to there are two sharply contrasting reactions to the start of the school year: glee and sadness. And frankly I think many moms, whether they’re anticipating sending the kids off to school or dreading it, feel a mixture of both.

If you’re sad to see summer come to an end because you were enjoying the downtime and had so many things left that you wanted to do, I have a tip for you: you can turn that disappointment into excitement by capturing what you’re feeling and why right now.

Here’s how it works: as moms we know from experience that summer presents a unique opportunity to get out and show our kids the world and enjoy special times together. Often our school years can be filled to overflowing with activities, which makes the down time of summer so precious. And we’ve also seen how opportunities missed in summer seem to disappear completely. But I’ll tell you a secret: they’re not really gone. They’re just forgotten. And each one remembered becomes a promise for the future. Because there will be more summers. And before then there will be bits of downtime and quiet evenings and weekends, even if they are few and far between.

So here’s what I want you to do: I want you to create for yourself a reminder of why you were sad to see summer end this year. What had you hoped to do but didn’t? What did you most enjoy that you wanted to keep going?

Write it down. Grab a journal and pour out your emotions about this particular summer coming to an end (or if you’re visual, go through your summer photos and make a collage). Those memories will be precious for you and your kids. Then once you’ve written the long version of it, I want you to go back and distill each reason for your disappointment into one sentence.

Like this: I’m sad that my kids never got to have a picnic lunch out on Grandma & Grandpa’s boat. Or even shorter (without the emotion): Have a picnic lunch on Grandma & Grandpa’s boat.

Guess what that is? It’s an entry for my Family Bucket List (and also an uncompleted item from our Summer Bucket List.) If you also created a Summer Family Bucket List – good for you. Now it’s time to move some of those uncompleted items over to your long-term plan that spans the duration of your kids’ childhoods (and beyond).

Turn your back-to-school blues into promises for the future by adding them to your Family Bucket List.

Don’t have a Family Bucket List yet? You need to check out my new e-book Family Bucket Lists: Bring More Fun, Adventure, & Camaraderie Into Every Day which provides unique prompts for creating your individual and shared lists, along with tips for troubleshooting and documenting your adventures. Click to learn more.

Now leave a comment and tell us: what will you miss from this summer? What unfinished summer dreams will you put on your long-term list of family plans?

Tweetables

Try this back-to-school exercise to defeat your end-of-summer blues. – Click to Tweet
It’s time to move uncompleted summer bucket list items to your long-term plan.   – Click to Tweet
Turn your back-to-school blues into promises for the future by adding them to your Family Bucket List. – Click to Tweet

Photo credit: School Buses by “Twix”/Alex Starr on Flickr via CC License

Back to School Book Review: A Textbook for Moms & Dads

Almost every new parent wishes their baby came with a manual. Thankfully, as steep as the learning curve feels at the time, those early days and weeks of parenthood are relatively simple. It’s mostly a matter of learning what your baby’s cries mean, how to get him to sleep, when to feed, and how to change a diaper (of course, notice that I said “simple” not easy).

However, as your baby grows and becomes a toddler and then a preschooler, gradeschooler, and one day a teen, the challenges grow with him. And the desire for a manual becomes greater.

Enter The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child’s Life. While it doesn’t address every situation (like what age should you buy your child a cell phone), it does give great guidance on some of the most critical issues in parenting – in particular, how to guide your child’s attitudes and heart and not just his behavior.

My husband & I took a parenting class when our children were young. It equipped us with a solid foundation and philosophy for parenting. And in the years since, I’ve gained a lot of support and coaching through a mom’s group affiliated with the parenting curriculum. So I could have brushed off The Christian Parenting Handbook figuring I’d already gained all I needed. But I’m glad I didn’t.

Turansky & Miller’s book echoes much of what I had already learned, but in different words and targeted to situations I hadn’t considered. I had previously read (and loved) their book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes… in You and Your Kids. So some of the material was familiar. But since I’m in a new phase of parenting with my eldest entering high school, even the overlapping ideas felt fresh and useful.

Like any good manual or handbook, the 50 brief chapters make this a book you can pick up at will and browse for the topic you need. You could try to read it cover to cover, but it really is meant to be ingested in small bits at a time. Each chapter is packed with tools and tips that address small slices of parenting and family life. It’s worthwhile to just take one chapter, read it, absorb it, and apply it before moving on to another. I’m not sure if it’s easy to find an answer to a particular problem – the ARC I received as a reviewer for Faith Village didn’t contain the index. But it still is a book I will refer to over and over and will flip through for an answer. Even just today I gained some insight on how I can change my approach to sibling spats.

What I love best is that Turansky & Miller don’t prescribe a set methodology for parenting. They acknowledge that every family is different and so is every child, thus the need to adjust approaches appropriately. They offer sound thinking and philosophy, based on the Scriptures (hence “Christian” in the title) from which parents can tailor their approach.

So while Turansky & Miller’s advice isn’t earthshaking – several other authors share many of the same sentiments, I highly recommend this book for any Christian parent. The wording is fresh, the chapters are brief, and it probably offers enough of an answer to any challenge you face with your kids to make you feel equipped and encouraged in the next step you’ll take. It may just be the parenting manual you always wished you had.

The Bucket List Life Manifesto

You are an adventurer. You know that, right? If you are a parent, then you signed up for a life of thrills and chills, unexpected turns of events, situations that test your wit and courage, and unparalleled moments of joy. Don’t miss the adventure of life with kids.

Because every day is an opportunity to move closer to your dreams.

But if the only adventures you are experiencing with your kids right now are the ones that involve charting the fastest course between the swim meet on one side of town to the baseball game on the other, or negotiating a trip to the grocery store without someone melting down, be encouraged. There can be more to the adventure of being a parent.

And if your family’s adventures are relegated to the three months of summer, or the two weeks you spend away on vacation, take heart. The adventure can be lived all year round.

It just takes some courage. And commitment. The courage to admit that you want more for the 18 years you have with each of your kids. The courage to admit you’re not always sure what you’re doing or where you’re going. And the commitment to make a change.

I wrote the Bucket List Life Manifesto you see here in honor of the families I know who live out adventures in their lives. And I wrote it to celebrate my e-book Family Bucket Lists: Bring More Fun, Adventure & Camaraderie Into Every Day, which launches today on Amazon and Barnes & Noble today in Kindle and Nook formats. Because it is not easy to live out the best adventure with our kids. It’s so much easier to get caught up in the frenzy of modern life. But I want more for families. I want the life exemplified in this manifesto.

Family Bucket Lists helps parents and kids brainstorm what that life will look like for them. It provides a guide – through questions that make you and your kids think about what makes you tick, what fuels your passions, and what you’ve wanted to do but forgot about. And it offers tips for integrating a life of adventure into the everyday world of ordinary family life so that you can be moving toward your dreams one step at a time each and every day.

I hope you’ll adopt the Bucket List Life Manifesto for yourself and your family. And I hope you’ll take the first step today toward living it out by buying a copy of Family Bucket Lists – in pdf, Kindle, or Nook (and coming in print August 2013). If you do – send me a copy of your receipt and I’ll get you the free family questions printable.

If you’re adopting the Bucket List Life Manifesto, tell me in the comments below. Or if your family has been living out an adventure, share it. I love to hear from parents who are embracing their role as adventurer.

Guest Post: The Secret to Dreams Come True

Today I have invited Marci Nault of 101DreamsComeTrue to share her thoughts about the power of writing down your dreams. In only 5 years, Marci has accomplished 90 out of her list of 101 dreams for her life (including seeing her first novel, The Lake House, published by Simon & Schuster this year). Pretty impressive, isn’t it? Marci describes herself as an ordinary person. It was writing down her list of dreams that took her on an extraordinary journey.

“Where did the time go?” Is a common phrase you hear along with,  “How is 2013 half over already?”

Feeling as if time is speeding up is a common occurrence these days. Maybe it’s because we move at such a fast pace trying to fit as many activities into children’s lives and our own. Or the fact that most media is made to only capture our attention for less than five minutes so we can absorb more.

It seems that everything in life is screaming for us to take a look, notice me, I need to get this done – I could go on forever on all the things that have our attention.

So for one moment, I want you to stop and think about the trajectory of your life if you keep this pace. Are you going towards your goals? Are you headed to the dreams you long ago put away for “someday” in the future?

Now imagine what happens if you keep going for another ten years at this pace. Will you look back and be thankful for all the wonderful moments, or will you feel as if life sped past without a moment to breathe?

When our dreams aren’t allowed to be at the forefront of our minds, it’s so easy for them to get pushed under the pile of laundry, the dishes in the sink, the hectic schedule, the bills that have piled up, or the feeling that we don’t deserve them so why even try.

Five years ago, I was at the lowest point of my life. Let’s just say that a higher power took a wrecking ball to what I thought I wanted to make certain I’d see the life I was meant to live. At this time, I sat down and made a list of 101 dreams I wanted to come true: live in Florence; become a published author with a major publisher; travel; learn to communicate without need or expectation; fall in love with life and myself; and many more. On this list I placed all the things I wanted to explore, try, experience, change about myself, and a life that I thought could only be part of my imagination.

Something miraculous happened when I made this list – it began to come true. At first it was small things. I was offered a spot on a camping trip in Yosemite to hike Half Dome. I didn’t know anyone on the trip, but I’d made a rule, if I had the chance I had to take it. So I went and had the time of my life.

More offers began to present themselves and with each dream that came true, I began to gain confidence that I could complete my list.

I kept my dreams in a prominent place in my home, and read a few of the items everyday. There were times when I was afraid, oh let’s be honest there were moments when I was on my knees in tears, but now after completing 90 of my biggest dreams, I believe anything is possible and taking risks and moving towards my goals has become a way of life: I’m now a novelist, my book The Lake House is published with Simon & Schuster and on the shelves; I’ve lived in Florence, Italy; jumped off cliffs on a hang glider; danced at Carnival In Rio; became a competitive figure skater; learned to tango and salsa dance; opened my own business www.elegantbridaldesigns.com; and many more.

When I began this list, I had no idea how I was going to make any of it come true. I didn’t have a career, the place I was renting was being sold, and I was completely lost. But doorways have opened, and I’ve found my way. I’ve learned to embrace fear – it means what I’m going after really matters.

Without this list, I don’t think I would’ve accomplished my dreams. I believe I would’ve placed them in the “someday” pile under the necessity to-do-list. But my life changed by making my dreams my biggest priority.

If you make that list of dreams more important than your to-do-list, if you bring your family together and design your life around each other’s dreams, I guarantee you won’t ever look back and wonder what happened to those years. Instead, you’ll look forward and say, “What more can we do?”

About Marci:

Marci Nault’s debut novel, The Lake House (Gallery/ Simon & Schuster) was a Chicago Tribune, Cape May Herald, CBS, and Amazon Premier summer read pick. Originally from Massachusetts, today she can be found figure skating, salsa dancing, hiking and wine tasting around her home in California. Marci is the founder of 101 Dreams Come True, a motivational website that encourages visitors to follow their improbable dreams. Her story about attempting to complete 101 of her biggest dreams has been featured in newspapers and magazines nationwide, and she regularly speaks on the subject on radio stations in both the United States and Canada. She’s also the owner of www.Elegantbridaldesigns.com, a couture lingerie, dress, and jewelry store.

 

So Much to Read (& a Special Annoucement)

Are you a summer reader? Do you devour more books than usual in the summer months over long car/plane trips or during outings to the pool or beach?

I’m definitely a summer reader. I try to consume as many books as I can – most for pure fun, but often one classic for enrichment and a handful of books for research. And while I have a growing stack of books to be read on my bedside table and a longer list downloaded to my Kindle, I’m always eager to hear about what others are reading so that I can add to my list of books-t0-be-read. So in that vein, I’ll share what I’m currently reading and what I plan to read over the course of this summer in hopes that you’ll pitch in your ideas too.

But first I want to let you in on a special announcement that might influence your summer reading list: Family Bucket Lists for Kindle will release on Amazon on July 15th. If you have been waiting for it to be specially formatted for your Kindle (or your iPhone/iPad Kindle app), you can buy yours then – and if you email your Amazon receipt, you’ll also receive the free Family Bucket List assessment questions printable.

So my summer reading list looks like this:

The Monk Downstairs by TIm Farrington (for book club. Good book.)
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck (see my review from two weeks ago)
Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler (almost finished it this weekend – an excellent book by a first-time novelist. Bravo, Julie!)
The Christian Parenting Handbook by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller (I have an ARC – look for a review here later this month).
Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness (for book club in August. It’s a long one).
The Lake House by Marci Nault (a perfect summer read – the Chicago Tribune happens to think so too. Nault will be here next week with a guest post about her 101 dreams list).
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot (audiobook)
Permission Marketing : Turning Strangers Into Friends And Friends Into Customers by Seth Godin (work related, but I look forward to reading it).
100 places that can change your child’s life : from your backyard to the ends of the earth / Keith Bellows, editor (research – expect a review on this one too one day).
Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand (hoping I can get my kids to listen to this with me during our road trip to New Jersey)
The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine (more research)

Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It by Henriette Anne Klauser (research)

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (because eldest daughter is reading for a school assignment over summer)
The Renovation by Terri Kraus (she’s a fellow Redbud and I can’t believe I haven’t read this yet).

Whew! Do you think I’ll get through them all before summer is over? I have two weeks of vacation time to help me out. But we’ll see. Notice I tend to read a lot of non-fiction (and I write non-fiction. Chicken or egg?). This is because I’m never sure of what fiction I should read. I’ll gladly take recommendations.

So chime in: what are you reading this summer? Or what have you read lately that you would recommend?

Krupicka Family Summer 2013 Bucket List

My kids have their own bucket lists. I keep a bucket list. And our family is compiling a shared bucket list. But although every summer my kids create lists of goals and challenges for themselves that they check off, we have never kept a separate family “summer bucket list.” Until now. After seeing other lists and how they capture the preciousness of the fleeting days of freedom, I decided I’m game. And our summer list incorporates (and hopefully facilitates) some of our long-term family bucket list.

So since it’s officially summer now, here is our 2013 Summer Bucket List:

Push Grandpa in the lake (my kids do this every year. It’s a tradition. But with grandparents moving and a somewhat different schedule, we won’t be out at the lake until later than usual. I hope they still get to do this).
Go to Sonic Drive-in. The nearest one is a bit of a drive. I already snuck my youngest over there for half-price shakes while her sisters were volunteering. But the gang has voted that we all go together. And get dinner.
See Monsters University. In the theater, which we don’t do often. I’m lucky to catch a first-run movie once a year. My eldest would like to, just for once, see a movie on the night it opens. Actually so would I, but it’s got to be a good one. That part of movie going will have to be put on our lifelong bucket lists for now I’m afraid.
Make cinnamon crescent rolls over a campfire. My middle daughter especially wants this since s’mores are verboten due to her braces.
Stay in PJ’s all day. Umm… somehow we’ll have to find a day where we don’t want to go anywhere. Maybe a rainy day. Youngest voted for this one. I say if it doesn’t happen, there’s always winter break. Sorry, hon!
Finish watching all of the James Bond movies. Eldest wants to do this and I’m sure her dad will join her. And since they’re together watching, the rest of us will probably join in. But I’m wondering… just how many movies are we talking about here?
Visit New York City. And while we’re there: go to the Statue of Liberty and to the top of the Empire State Building. I’m thinking this trip (which we’ve already marked out on the calendar) deserves its own bucket list. I hear two of my children have gotten that list started on their own.
Watch the sun set over Lake Michigan. This is another annual tradition, which happens during our yearly camping trip. We hike out to the campground’s private beach with some Twizzlers to snack on. I can’t wait for it and I absolutely don’t want to miss it.
Watch Dad fly his trick kite for the first time. On the beach. In Michigan.
Pick peaches at their Great-Aunt’s house. We’ll see if they’re in season when we get there.
Go blueberry picking. Another Michigan tradition. We’ll make jam with some of our pickings. And the rest will go into muffins, pancakes, coffeecakes…
Listen to the song Cruise by Florida Georgia Line until it drives us nuts. Eldest has declared it to be the song of Summer 2013. There ya go!
Go to Krispy Kreme. It will be a little drive, but well worth it!
Have a picnic out on a boat – probably at Grandma & Grandpa’s.
Have a silly string fight. For real.
Finish reading The Fellowship of the Ring (youngest and I) and all watch the movie together.

If you have a summer bucket list or are participating in a summer bucket list meme, feel free to share your list here or leave a link to it.