Jason Bitner's Blog, page 84

Pedophiles and Military Recruiters

My friend lent me a series of books, 30 Days of Night, and I found this note card in the third one. The weird thing is, it's not my friends handwriting, nor is it the handwriting of my boyfriend who borrowed the books before me. Finally, I found another piece of paper in the book, containing an email address in the same handwriting. I recognize the person to whom the address belongs, but neither I nor my friends ever really talk to this person. Weird.

July 19, 1985!!!!!

I bought my house in 2001 and hadn't looked into the attic since then. But this year, to check the insulation, I grabbed a ladder and took a peek. My attic is one of those that is accessible only through a hatch in the ceiling, and you really can't use it to hang out in or store stuff. But there, sitting atop the fiber insulation, I found a plastic bag that contained the ancient computer-generated picture you're looking at, and several others like it. I have no idea who these people or why th...

The Divine Fax

I had to send a fax, and found this on the fax machine. I would like to imagine he faxed it into a prayer hotline and that it was read aloud on the air. I can't imagine why else you would fax a prayer, unless you had a direct line to heaven.

HappyKittyBunnyPony

I picked up a copy of a colourful book with kittens and other cute-art. This note had been put in the front cover-- perhaps someone thought there were too many copies of happykittybunnypony but with a name like that to compete with art featuring urine or blood or a rope piled in a corner, who could really return them!?

Overnight

What's the 204? An apartment number, like I know who this is and where you live? Scarrrrrrry.

Fun Lunch!

In a box of discarded pictures from cleaning out the yearbook's cabinets, this one jumped out at me as a favorite.

School Is Worse Than I Thought

I found this while cleaning out some old folders in an art storage area at the end of the school year at the school where I work.

'Till Death Do Us Part

This slide was found in a dumpster. Dated DEC '59, the image was tossed out along with several dozen other family portraits from this era. I'll leave it to the viewer to determine what this says about the Jersey Shore culture in the late 1950's.

The House Teeterred

I found this unsealed (and, at the time, unstamped) thank-you note on the ground at Java Break Cafe and Cereal Bar, my favorite coffeehouse. I don't know if the frat-bro who wrote it is a poet or not, but his note not only flowed...it almost seemed intentional--yet effortless--with its wordplay, sound repetition, and line-breakage:

'write'...'Psi'...'provide'; 'provide'/ 'presence'; 'stability'...'security'...'absurdity'...

And...the imagery!

I'm sure Mom Wolfe will thoroughly appreciate h...

Phonetic Swearing

I found this while helping inventory books in a school library at the end of the school year.