Douglas Adams > Quotes

“The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.’
‘Odd,’ said Arthur, ‘I thought you said it was a democracy.’
‘I did,’ said Ford. ‘It is.’
‘So,’ said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, ‘why don’t people get rid of the lizards?’
‘It honestly doesn’t occur to them,’ said Ford. ‘They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.’
‘You mean they actually vote for the lizards?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Ford with a shrug, ‘of course.’
‘But,’ said Arthur, going for the big one again, ‘why?’
‘Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,’ said Ford, ‘the wrong lizard might get in.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“Adamın birinin, değişiklik olsun diye bundan böyle halka nazik davranmanın ne kadar iyi olacağını dile getirdiği için bir ağaca çivilenmesinden yaklaşık iki bin yıl sonra, bir perşembe günü, rickmanswort'de küçük bir kafede tek başına oturan bir kız, bunca zamandır ters giden şeyin ne olduğunu birden fark edip en sonunda dünyanın nasıl iyileştirilebileceğini ve mutluluğun hüküm sürdüğü bir yere dönüştürülebileceğini anlamıştı. bu sefer doğru olanı bulmuştu, işe yarayacak ve hiç kimsenin bir yerlere çivilenmesi gerekmeyecekti.
Ama ne yazıktır ki, bir telefon bulup birilerine bundan söz edemeden korkunç aptal bir felaket meydana geldi ve fikir sonsuza dek yitip gitti.
bu, o kızın öyküsü değil.
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varlıgımı kanıtlamayı reddediyorum" der tanrı. "cünkü kanıt inancı yok eder. ve inanç olmazsa ben bir hiçim.
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Halkı yönetmeyi en çok isteyenler, bunu yapmaya en az uygun olanlardır.
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- keske annemi dinleseydim
+nelerden bahsederdi ki
- bilmem hic dinlemedim

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Tanrım beni bilmem gerekmeyen şeyleri öğrenmekten koru. Hatta beni bilmediğim şeyler olduğunu öğrenmekten de koru. Öğrenmemeye karar verdiğim şeyler olduğunu öğrenmemeye karar verdiğimi bilmekten koru. Amin.
Tanrım, tanrım, tanrım.. Beni yukarıdaki duanın sonuçlarından koru.
Amin.
Yaşamda insanların başına gelen şeylerin çoğu bu son kısmı kaçırmış olmaktan dolayı başlarına geliyor.
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― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Hexagonal Phase

“Zaphod had never heard of this. He believed that he had heard of all the fun things in the Galaxy, so he assumed that the Total Perspective Vortex was not fun.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Hepimiz sınırlarda toplanmaktan hoşlanırız.'
'Gerçekten mi?'
'Karın suyla buluştuğu sınırda. Toprağın havayla buluştuğu çizgide. Vücudun beyinle buluştuğu noktada. Uzayın zamanla karşılaştığı yerde. Bir tarafta olup diğer tarafa bakmayı severiz.”
― Douglas Adams, Otostopçu'nun Galaksi Rehberi

“He experienced one of those “self” moments, one of those moments when you suddenly turn around and look at yourself and think “Who am I? What am I up to? What have I achieved? Am I doing well?” He whimpered very slightly.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“But Douglas was a genius, because he saw the world differently, and more importantly, he could communicate the world he saw.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He would insult the universe. That is, he would insult everyone in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and in alphabetical order.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question, “How can we eat?”, the second by the question, “Why do we eat?” and the third by the question, “Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The daylight shouldered its way in like a squad of policemen and did a lot of what’s-all-thising around the room, which, like the bedroom, would have presented anyone of an aesthetic disposition with difficulties.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naïve incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“t is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“and this is the rock-solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation’s Galaxy-wide success is founded – their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle,’ he muttered to himself.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The mice will see you now,” he said.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Tell me,” he went on, and it was a moment before Richard realised that the Professor wasn’t talking to him any more, but had turned to the right to address his other neighbour, “what’s all this about, this,” he flourished a vague hand over the candles and college silver, “. . . stuff?” His neighbour, an elderly wizened figure, turned very slowly and looked at him as if he was rather annoyed at being raised from the dead like this. “Coleridge,” he said in a thin rasp, “it’s the Coleridge Dinner, you old fool.” He turned very slowly back until he was facing the front again. His name was Cawley, he was a Professor of Archaeology and Anthropology, and it was frequently said of him, behind his back, that he regarded it not so much as a serious academic study, more as a chance to relive his childhood.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy – not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. ‘The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. ‘On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Complete Trilogy in Five Parts

“It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever. When”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“The other three could sense it too, but they could sense the bitter cold even more and hurried back into the Heart of Gold suffering from an acute attack of no curiosity.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“It’s not so much an afterlife,’ said Arthur, ‘more a sort of après vie.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy of Five

“She had heard it said that humans are supposed only to use about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was very clear what the other nine tenths were for, but she had certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Don't Panic”
― Douglas Adams, Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 1 of 3

“Yarı okunmuş kitaplar ve dergiler, yarı kullanılmış havlular arasında yuvarlanmıştı. Öbür teki kaybolmuş çoraplar, yarı içilmiş kahve fincanlarına yaslanmaktaydı. Bir zamanlar yarı yenmiş bir sandviç olan şey, şimdi yarı yarıya Arthur'un ne olduğunu asla bilmek istemediği bir şeye dönüşmüştü. Bu yığının üzerine bir şimşek gönderirseniz diye düşündü kendi kendine, hayat döngüsünü yeniden başlatabilirsiniz.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“They look like humans, they move like humans, they hold things in their fingers like humans, the expressions which play across their faces and in their intensely human-looking eyes are expressions that we instinctively feel we recognise as human expressions. We look them in the face and we think, “We know what they’re like,” but we don’t. Or rather, we actually block off any possible glimmering of understanding of what they may be like by making easy and tempting assumptions.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“I did better than that. I called in a neighbour’s kid who used to be able to solve Rubik’s cube in seventeen seconds. He sat on a step and stared at it for over an hour before pronouncing it irrevocably stuck.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Unfortunately”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.”
― Douglas Adams

“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing Universe, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters, it does at least make the reassuring claim, that where it is inaccurate it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it’s always reality that’s got it wrong.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The man next to Ford grinned and nodded happily. Ford ignored him. He said, “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“La poesía Vogona ocupa, por supuesto, el tercer lugar entre los peores del Universo. El segundo corresponde a los azgoths de Kria. Mientras su principal poeta, Grunthos el Flatulento, recitaba su poema "Oda a un bultito de masilla verde que me descubrí en el sobaco una mañana de verano", cuatro de sus oyentes murieron de hemorragia interna, y el presidente del Consejo Inhabilitador de las Artes de la Galaxia Media se salvó al comerse una de sus piernas. Se dice que Grunthos quedó "decepcionado" por la acogida que había tenido el poema, y estaba a punto de iniciar la lectura de su poema épico en doce tomos titulado "Mis gorjeos de baño favoritos", cuando su propio intestino grueso, en un desesperado esfuerzo por salvar la vida y la civilización, le saltó derecho al cuello y le estranguló.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy