Douglas Adams > Quotes

“But - but - but!" said Dirk, thumping the table in frustration, "don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“And that is what Mauritius is most famous for: the extinction of the dodo.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“But now he felt as if the whole world were tipping backwards over his head, and this, he couldn’t help feeling, was a very worrying thing for the world to do.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“The Electric Monk was a labor-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Yeah, I'm sure that's him," he would add when shown a picture of Gordon Way. "I only wasn't sure at first because in the picture he's got his mouth closed.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Space,” it says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space. Listen …”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The chances of finding out what's really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do his hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“If the insurance company failed to pay up—which seemed increasingly likely in light of the strategy that insurance companies had adopted in recent years, of merely advertising their services rather than actually providing them—Dirk”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“It’s printed in the Earthman’s brainwave patterns,” continued Marvin, “but I don’t suppose you’ll be very interested in knowing that.” “You mean,” said Arthur, “you mean you can see into my mind?” “Yes,” said Marvin. Arthur stared in astonishment. “And…?” he said. “It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small.” “Ah,” said Arthur, “abuse.” “Yes,” confirmed Marvin. “Ah, ignore him,” said Zaphod, “he’s only making it up.” “Making it up?” said Marvin, swiveling his head in a parody of astonishment. “Why should I want to make anything up? Life’s bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“I said 'dear lady,' " explained Ford Prefect, "because I didn't want her to be offended by my implication that she was an ignorant cretin-”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The insurance companies involved had all claimed that this was, by any reasonable standards, an act of God. But, Dirk had argued, which god? Britain was constitutionally a Christian monotheistic state, and therefore any “act of God” defined in a legal document must refer to the Anglican chap in the stained glass and not to some polytheistic thug from Norway.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“The sky, from one horizon to another, from east to west, from north to south, was utterly and completely black.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“مهم ترین مشکل مسافرت زمانی، مشکل دستور زبانیه. یعنی همون مشکل زمان فعل ها. اسم مهم ترین کتابی که در این مورد به آدم کمک می‌کنه ۱۰۰۱ زمان گرامری برای مسافرانی که در زمان سفر میکنند، هست. این کتاب مثلا به آدم توضیح می‌ده که چه جوری درباره چیزی جمله بسازه که قرار بود در گذشته برای آدم اتفاق بیفته، اما آدم در سفر در زمان دو روز به جلو پریده و از دست اون اتفاق در رفته. زمان گرامری این اتفاق در حالت های مختلف متفاوته و به زاویه دید آدم بستگی داره. یه وقت آدم از زاویهء زمان طبیعی خودش به داستان نگاه میکنه، یه وقت از زاویه زمانی در آینده دور، یه وقت از زاویه زمانی در گذشته دور. داستان وقتی حسابی سرگرم کننده میشه که آدم در حین اینکه درباره این اتفاق حرف میزنه، درحال سفر از یک زمان به زمان دیگه باشه!

از زاویهء دید ِ یه زبانشناس ِ نصفه نیمه در زمان ِحال، این نویسنده یه دیوونه س! از اون دیوونه خوبا! ”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The Electric Monk's day was going tremendously well and he broke into an excited gallop. That is to say that, excitedly, he spurred his horse to a gallop and, unexcitedly, his horse broke into it.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Late in the evening they drove through the Hollywood hills along Mulholland Drive and stopped to look out first over the dazzling sea of floating light that is Los Angeles, and later stopped to look across the dazzling sea of floating light that is the San Fernando Valley. They agreed that the sense of dazzle stopped immediately at the back of their eyes and didn’t touch any other part of them and came away strangely unsatisfied by the spectacle. As dramatic seas of light went, it was fine, but light is meant to illuminate something, and having driven through what this particularly dramatic sea of light was illuminating they didn’t think much of it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz heaved his unpleasant green body round the control bridge. He always felt vaguely irritable after demolishing populated planets. He wished that someone would come and tell him that it was all wrong so that he could shout at them and feel better. He flopped as heavily as he could onto his control seat in the hope that it would break and give him something to be genuinely angry about, but it only gave a complaining sort of creak. “Go away!” he shouted at a young Vogon guard who entered the bridge at that moment. The guard vanished immediately, feeling rather relieved. He was glad it wouldn’t now be him who delivered the report they’d just received. The report was an official release which said that a wonderful new form of spaceship drive was at this moment being unveiled at a Government research base on Damogran which would henceforth make all hyperspatial express routes unnecessary.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Dizem em todos os níveis da indústria do entretenimento que o público americano não gosta ou não entende o humor inglês. Dizem isso em todos os níveis exceto no nível do público, que, pelo que eu vejo, adora. É a opinião dos outros, das pessoas cujo trabalho é dizer de que o público gosta...

A astúcia é escrever sobre pessoas. Se você escreve sobre situações que as pessoas reconhecem, então as pessoas vão reagir a elas.”
― Douglas Adams

“The The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams

“Now," said Benjy mouse, "to business."
Ford and Zaphod clinked their glasses together.
"To business!" they said.
"I beg your pardon?" said Benjy.
Ford looked round.
"Sorry, I thought you were proposing a toast," he said.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The bits which did mean anything were often so wonderfully buried that no one could ever spot them slipping past in the avalanche of nonsense.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“I sat in a spluttering, bleeding heap protesting that I was fine and all I needed was a quiet corner to go and die in and everything would be all right.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“Insanity is a gradual process - don't rush it.”
― Douglas Adams, The More Than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide

“I will understand perfectly if you don’t want to answer, but I will just keep pestering you until you do.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The voice was deep and quiet. In other circumstances it would even be described as soothing. There is, however, nothing soothing about being addressed by a disembodied voice out of nowhere, particularly when you are, like Zaphod Beeblebrox, not at your best and hanging from a ledge eight stories up a crashed building.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He goggled at her as if she’d said something very strange about beetroots.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

“What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“What are you after?"
...
"Well," said Zaphod airily, "It's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it's the fame and the money....”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue, apart from Don't Panic.

Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seem to be more likely, consider yourself lucky that it wouldn't be for much longer.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in Five Parts

“it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Apart from being extremely good-looking in a blondish, willowyish kind of way, she was dressed well in an “I don’t care what I wear, just any old thing that’s lying around” kind of way that relies on being extremely careful about what you leave lying around.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time