Ask the Author: Jason Kirk
Answered Questions (18)
Jason Kirk
Thank you, Joshua! I listened to a ton of Evangelical-market music while writing this, almost entirely the stuff my characters "were" into at the time (which almost always tracked with a lot of my non-secular favorites as a kid, because I'm in charge here): Underoath, Relient K, Amy Grant, Switchfoot, mewithoutYou, Kirk Franklin, Rich Mullins, Norma Jean, Further Seems Forever, etc. Probably noteworthy that almost all of those artists have been canceled by Christians at one time or another.
Never was a fan of most of the Wow Hits/Dove Award acts, and it's been a long time since I've had any use for anything presented as praise-and-worship music. (Though I could listen to Appalachian sacred harp all day long. Miss Esther's soundtrack, of course.)
And some of my favorite artists have backgrounds in that Evangelical market. Zao (Evangelical about 25 years ago) is my favorite rock band ever, Silent Planet still shares all sorts of Christian themes, and Underoath has openly battled with a deconstruction that's felt much like mine.
Official chapter-by-chapter playlist here! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yB...
Never was a fan of most of the Wow Hits/Dove Award acts, and it's been a long time since I've had any use for anything presented as praise-and-worship music. (Though I could listen to Appalachian sacred harp all day long. Miss Esther's soundtrack, of course.)
And some of my favorite artists have backgrounds in that Evangelical market. Zao (Evangelical about 25 years ago) is my favorite rock band ever, Silent Planet still shares all sorts of Christian themes, and Underoath has openly battled with a deconstruction that's felt much like mine.
Official chapter-by-chapter playlist here! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yB...
Jason Kirk
Haven't heard from any family about it yet.
Jason Kirk
1. Me
2. Ex-vengalicals
3. Everyone who's ever wondered why Evangelicals are the way that they are
4. Everyone who likes fart jokes
2. Ex-vengalicals
3. Everyone who's ever wondered why Evangelicals are the way that they are
4. Everyone who likes fart jokes
Jason Kirk
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Jason Kirk
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Jason Kirk
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Jason Kirk
The Calebs, obviously, but also Pastor Jack. The parts where Isaac resents how fun he is on stage when he's really cutting loose? Yeah.
Also, chapter 20's over-the-top, Osteen-grade megachurch. I tried to write it as a parody, but then that Texas megachurch with the flying drummer kept going viral. I knew Evangelicalism is impossible to parody, but I'd tried anyway.
Also, chapter 20's over-the-top, Osteen-grade megachurch. I tried to write it as a parody, but then that Texas megachurch with the flying drummer kept going viral. I knew Evangelicalism is impossible to parody, but I'd tried anyway.
Jason Kirk
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Jason Kirk
I wrote the book that I, an exvangelical, would've most wanted someone to hand me. Since I knew there's a ton of us, I knew it'd resonate with a large portion of the people it found due to its relentless authenticity and ultimately hopeful direction. That's not to say everybody from that demographic will or would like it, but I did my best.
The fun surprise, which I'd also hoped for, has been how many people who grew up NOTHING like me have nevertheless found it relatable, entertaining, understandable, and worthwhile.
The fun surprise, which I'd also hoped for, has been how many people who grew up NOTHING like me have nevertheless found it relatable, entertaining, understandable, and worthwhile.
Jason Kirk
A ton! Not just going back and re-listening and scouring tracklists to see which thematic elements lined up (every reference in there is for a Reason besides just timing or nostalgia or whatever), but also big-picture stuff like trying to tell the story of the Evangelical music industry within the context of 2000s music at large — as in, showing characters who don't just listen to those Dingees, but know and appreciate the secular bands that influenced the Dingees.
A ton of scene bands came out just barely too late to be included, but the main one is mewithoutYou from Philadelphia. My doubt-afflicted church kids from Pennsylvania surely adooooored mwY. Had to go chapter title, at least.
A ton of scene bands came out just barely too late to be included, but the main one is mewithoutYou from Philadelphia. My doubt-afflicted church kids from Pennsylvania surely adooooored mwY. Had to go chapter title, at least.
Jason Kirk
Sheetz is on page 189. Roadside titillation is not at all unique to Pennsylvania, as page 287 shows.
Jason Kirk
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Jason Kirk
I think of it like this: The book's *setting* is 9/11-era American White Evangelicalism. The book is *about* Western Christian theologies of self-hatred, nationalism, and identity politics. Very, very, very few of the bad political, theological, or cultural ideas depicted in this book were actually invented by Evangelicals — usually by European Catholics, in fact.
I view right-wing religious traditions as systems similar to so many other systems that pit people against people. On one level, the solution is speaking out, because nobody takes the leap of leaving their original community unless they know they have somewhere to land. On another, it's solidarity with all workers, oppressed people, and marginalized people everywhere — which I believe is exactly what Jesus taught.
I view right-wing religious traditions as systems similar to so many other systems that pit people against people. On one level, the solution is speaking out, because nobody takes the leap of leaving their original community unless they know they have somewhere to land. On another, it's solidarity with all workers, oppressed people, and marginalized people everywhere — which I believe is exactly what Jesus taught.
Jason Kirk
With podcasts and freelance sportswriting paying my bills for basically all of 2020-2022 (and with my kid being a low-maintenance self-starter who cares way more about her grades than I do tbh), I was able to put in eight to fifteen hours a day for huge stretches of time. Writing, scrapping, rewriting, deleting, editing, going for runs with 2000s soundtracks in my headphones, rewriting some more, and then leaving myself notes for the next day.
It was really fun! Do not necessarily recommend!
It was really fun! Do not necessarily recommend!
Jason Kirk
I'm working on an annotated ebook, which we'll probably post at Shutdown Fullbooks dot com, that'll be loaded with this kind of stuff.
As for real events, sure, there were a ton. If *my* story had been the one I'd written about, there would've been a whole lot more of those late-night Jackass-style shenanigans, "Isaac" would've taken PG's place as vocalist of a bunch of scene bands, and (because I'm from Georgia and Isaac isn't) there would've been another firearms scene or two.
As for real events, sure, there were a ton. If *my* story had been the one I'd written about, there would've been a whole lot more of those late-night Jackass-style shenanigans, "Isaac" would've taken PG's place as vocalist of a bunch of scene bands, and (because I'm from Georgia and Isaac isn't) there would've been another firearms scene or two.
Jason Kirk
9/11, 2016, January 6th, and Brown v. Board of Education were significant turning points within American religion, not so much because they changed what was getting preached, but because they changed the volume, intensity, and demands for fealty. The masks slipped, little by little, until they revealed to everyone who hadn't noticed yet that the movement that'd allegedly been founding on anti-abortion politics had actually been founding on white grievance.
We can go back and see the shift in political messaging in conservative churches, though it was already intensely anti-Democrat, queerphobic, and anti-immigrant. See: the weepy-warrior Promise Keepers giving way to the manly, manly gruntball theatrics of Neo-Calvinism, Mel Gibson, and guys who liked Teddy Roosevelt way too much.
My personal 2001 experience: My timeline and Isaac's were different. I'd already begun tuning out conservative pastors as best I could, but 9/11 definitely fed my ingrained apocalyptic fears (and hunger). The night of 9/11, I had Zao's "Liberate te ex Inferis" (a metal album about going to Hell) on loop as one friend read Revelation over and over — and six others played Gran Turismo for like nine hours.
We can go back and see the shift in political messaging in conservative churches, though it was already intensely anti-Democrat, queerphobic, and anti-immigrant. See: the weepy-warrior Promise Keepers giving way to the manly, manly gruntball theatrics of Neo-Calvinism, Mel Gibson, and guys who liked Teddy Roosevelt way too much.
My personal 2001 experience: My timeline and Isaac's were different. I'd already begun tuning out conservative pastors as best I could, but 9/11 definitely fed my ingrained apocalyptic fears (and hunger). The night of 9/11, I had Zao's "Liberate te ex Inferis" (a metal album about going to Hell) on loop as one friend read Revelation over and over — and six others played Gran Turismo for like nine hours.
Jason Kirk
Did I ever leave it in the first place?
I don't think any adults are as Grown Up as we like to believe. We look back on our younger selves and put on a big performance of cringing and recoiling, to let everyone know we're so much cooler now than we used to be, but that's the thing: We're not cool now, either.
The work was really just about getting honest, then constantly realizing I hadn't gotten honest enough yet. Stripping away weapons wielded as armor and looking at the kid I was fighting to reclaim, a kid who said every thought that entered his head, whether it came out right or not.
Isaac's mom (who is at times the book's closest thing to an author stand-in, despite voting and believing very differently from me) explains it like this: "It takes honesty, to look back at who we were before we learned to hide."
(Also, the book needed lots of dick jokes, but again: Adults also make shitloads of dick jokes. We're not as Grown Up as we like to believe.)
I don't think any adults are as Grown Up as we like to believe. We look back on our younger selves and put on a big performance of cringing and recoiling, to let everyone know we're so much cooler now than we used to be, but that's the thing: We're not cool now, either.
The work was really just about getting honest, then constantly realizing I hadn't gotten honest enough yet. Stripping away weapons wielded as armor and looking at the kid I was fighting to reclaim, a kid who said every thought that entered his head, whether it came out right or not.
Isaac's mom (who is at times the book's closest thing to an author stand-in, despite voting and believing very differently from me) explains it like this: "It takes honesty, to look back at who we were before we learned to hide."
(Also, the book needed lots of dick jokes, but again: Adults also make shitloads of dick jokes. We're not as Grown Up as we like to believe.)
Jason Kirk
Its first iteration was a 20-page short story, the kind of format I wrote all the time during college (in creative writing classes, for fun, etc.) and even all the way back to middle school. Despite having worked as a journalist (or whatever) since 2010, fiction is my OG writing mode.
Once I realized Isaac's journey had (1.) too much context and nuance and background for me to cram into 20 pages and (2.) too much personal evolution to undergo in just 20 pages, its scope quickly expanded to novel-sized.
I never considered non-fiction for this project. Didn't really think about that route at all until after it'd been published and someone asked. Fiction meant the chance to reroute my own memories, thoughts, and experiences through a variety of characters, to merge some of me with other people's experiences into the character of Isaac, and to select details and events for thematic reasons.
(But really, the simplest answer for why it isn't a memoir is: That sounds super boring to me. I've read great memoirs, obviously, but one about me? Zzz. Though I did get in trouble as a kid WAY more frequently than Isaac's crew does, other than for a few stints during his senior year.)
Once I realized Isaac's journey had (1.) too much context and nuance and background for me to cram into 20 pages and (2.) too much personal evolution to undergo in just 20 pages, its scope quickly expanded to novel-sized.
I never considered non-fiction for this project. Didn't really think about that route at all until after it'd been published and someone asked. Fiction meant the chance to reroute my own memories, thoughts, and experiences through a variety of characters, to merge some of me with other people's experiences into the character of Isaac, and to select details and events for thematic reasons.
(But really, the simplest answer for why it isn't a memoir is: That sounds super boring to me. I've read great memoirs, obviously, but one about me? Zzz. Though I did get in trouble as a kid WAY more frequently than Isaac's crew does, other than for a few stints during his senior year.)
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