8 Rules of Love Quotes

“Learning and experimenting could be a five-month journey or a five-year journey. Remember, no matter where you are on the pyramid of purpose, you are already in pursuit of purpose. There is no finish line to cross before you’re living your purpose.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“In order to learn, you have to commit time, and in order to commit time, your partner has to be on board. They have to understand the values that make you want to spend your time this way, and you want to make sure that they don’t feel like you are stealing the time from them or your family (if you have one). You do this by working together to decide where the time will come from.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Identify your reason for fighting: Am I fighting because I believe my way is best? (ego) Am I fighting because I think we should do something the “right” way? (ego) Am I fighting because I want the person to change? (passion) Am I fighting because this situation offends me to the core? (passion) Am I fighting because I want to feel different? (passion) Am I fighting because I want to improve the situation? (goodness) Am I fighting because I want us to become closer?”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“The partner without a purpose might become envious of the other’s progress, in which case both partners miss out on the joy, energy, and contentment that two people who are fueled by their purpose bring to each other.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“In every relationship there are actually three relationships: your relationship with each other, your relationship with your purpose, and your partner’s relationship with their purpose.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You go do what you need to do, while I go do what I need to do.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We are confronted with the ups and downs of life, but purpose is an active ingredient that helps us stay stable.” We bring that stability to one another. It’s a foundation on which we can build our life with our partner.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Purpose insulates and protects our self-esteem, and research has connected high self-esteem to more satisfying relationships.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“the kind of self-satisfaction that comes from opulences like fame or riches, along with personal gain and pleasure—looks different in our bodies from eudaimonia—the satisfaction that comes from having a deep sense of purpose and meaning in life.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Dharma is the intersection of passion, expertise, and service. Living in your dharma means that you’ve connected your natural talents and interests with a need that exists in the universe.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Gurus don’t use anger, harsh words, or fear to inspire their students. They realize that fear is a good motivator in the short term but over the long term it erodes trust. Criticism is lazy communication. It’s not constructive, compassionate, or collaborative. Look for ways to communicate so that the other person can consume, digest, and apply your input effectively. Offer them a “love sandwich” where you deliver a piece of constructive criticism between two tasty slices of positive feedback.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“When you lead by example, you come to understand how difficult it is to grow because you’re doing the hard work of growth yourself. This gives you compassion and empathy toward your partner rather than judgment and expectations.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You will feel a sense of security knowing that they’re focused on something deeply meaningful to them. Is it a personality trait or a choice rather than a necessity? Instead of demanding that they spend more time with you, ask, “Are you okay? Is there anything you’re dealing with?” We need to meet them with compassion rather than criticism or complaint.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“I’d love to share this idea with you” or “Have you ever thought of it this way?”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“A guru doesn’t hesitate to play any position if it helps their student. There is no ego involved. The guru is honored and grateful to support another. A real guru doesn’t want power but empowers their partner.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Do Not Lead, Serve”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Researchers Arthur and Elaine Aron developed “self-expansion theory,” which states that relationships—especially the one with our partner—enable us to live a bigger, richer life by expanding our sense of self. Self-expansion theory says we’re motivated to partner with someone who brings to the relationship things we don’t already have, such as different skills (You know how to unclog a drain!), personality traits (You’re the life of the party!), and perspectives (You grew up overseas!). Our partner expands our sense of who we are because they expand the resources to which we have access.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Your partner is your partner in love. You are each other’s guru—learning about yourselves and each other. But you don’t have to be mentors or business partners. Instead, help them think of ways to connect with mentors and come up with questions to ask when they have a chance.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You can book a trip to a museum or find books or TED Talks to help them explore what they’re especially curious about. Take a look at your commitments and priorities, and make sure your partner has the freedom to pursue their curiosity instead of, for example, expecting that they’ll spend their spare time with you.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Don’t be pushy or get mad at them if they don’t follow your advice. They have to come to it in their own time and at their own pace. You can’t force them. You can only be there for them as they figure it out. You aren’t trying to get them to the next step in your journey but to the next step in their journey.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“When you are going through a challenging phase, it’s also important to remind your partner that it’s not their fault. You can be open about what you need but clarify to your partner that this is your burden, not theirs. In fact, if you’re stuck and uninspired regarding your own purpose, it might be an ideal opportunity to direct your free time and energy toward your partner’s pursuits (later in this rule I’ll tell you how). This clear-eyed approach allows you to discover new ways to nurture your own, independent purpose. You”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We trust people more when they make us feel safe, when they make healthy decisions, and when we feel like they conduct their life based on values that we agree with. To evaluate the depth and breadth of your trust for your partner, consider these three aspects: physical trust, mental trust, and emotional trust.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Trust begins with ourselves.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We give them our trust because little by little, day after day, we have shared more of ourselves and seen what they do with our honesty.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“But trust increases gradually through actions, thoughts, and words.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You can leave the relationship, in which case you realize this person doesn’t suit your priorities. You can work through the issue together and grow, in which case you realize you’re feeling positive enough about your bond to evolve together. Or you can stay together without changing anything, in which case you don’t realize anything. I advise you not to make the third choice.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Relationships are masterfully designed to annoy us.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“In attraction, we observe people for how they appear, but we don’t understand what it’s like to have a relationship with them.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Love takes time.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go