8 Rules of Love Quotes

“We first seek validation from those closest to us. Then, unsatisfied, we look for it from everyone. And finally, we find it in ourselves. It was the gap that my parents created that eventually taught me this lesson. I had to be happy with myself.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“the gifts our parents give us can create as many pitfalls as the gaps. If there is a gap in how our parents raised us, we look to others to fill it. And if there is a gift in how our parents raised us, we look to others to give us the same.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Karma is the law of cause and effect. Every action produces a reaction. In other words, your current decisions, good and bad, determine your future experience.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“This stage of life is designed to help us learn how to love ourselves. But if you don’t learn the lessons of the first ashram of love, then you won’t know how lovable you are and what you have to offer. This is an everyday practice of preparing ourselves to be in a relationship while staying true to who we are. It is one of the hardest rules in this book, and the most important.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You want to go on a journey with someone, not to make them your journey.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“When you come to a relationship as a whole person, without looking for someone to complete you or to be your better half, you can truly connect and love. You know how you like to spend your time, what’s important to you, and how you’d like to grow. You have the self-control to wait for someone you can be happy with and the patience to appreciate someone you’re already with. You realize that you can bring value to someone else’s life. With this foundation, you’re ready to give love without neediness or fear.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Other people can help you, but if you're not trying to understand yourself, nobody else can do it for you.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. The way you speak about yourself affects how people will speak with you. the way you allow yourself to be spoken to reinforces what people think you deserve.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“The best thing for your nervous system is another human. The worst thing for your nervous system is another human." Synching with other people can log us in to their bad vibes as well as their good ones. this is why we need to self-regulate, comforting ourselves, calming ourselves down, or pepping ourselves up. If we're always turning toward others to help us tune how we feel, we'll stay more like that infant who is incapable of self-soothing and self-supporting.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Two of the key skills we learn in solitude are self-control and patience. They're connected, because the mode we improve our self-control, the more patient we can be. Without these two skills we become prone to following our senses and whatever attracts us.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“There is nothing wrong with attraction, but we are easily carried away by what looks appealing, feels good, or sounds right. In solutude we learn to create space between sensory stimulation and decision-making.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“In this way, being alone—not lonely, but comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is the first step in preparing ourselves to love others.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“It's about learning how to display your values, not how to advertise yourself.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We can't know where and when we'll find love, but we can preapre for it and practice what we've learned when we find it.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Movies idealize love, but we rarely find out what happens after happily ever after.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“What is the difference between like and love?" asks a student. The teacher responds, "When you like a flower, you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“The ancient Greeks said there were seven basic types of love: Eros, which is sexual or passionate love; Philia, or friendship; Storge, or familial love; Agape, which is universal love; Ludus, which is casual or noncommittal love; Pragma, which is based on duty or other interests; and Philautia, which is self-love.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“And we prepare for love by learning how to love ourselves in solitude.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Solitude helps you recognize that there is a you before, a you during, and a you after every relationship, forging your own way even when you have company and love.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“If we are constantly looking for love or constantly focused on our partner, we’ll be distracted from the vital work of understanding ourselves. If we don’t understand ourselves, we risk taking on the tastes and values of our partner.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“The senses are so strong and impetuous, O Arjuna, that they forcibly carry away the mind even of a man of discrimination who is endeavoring to control them.” In other words, if we’re not careful, we can be attracted to something superficial or inauthentic.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Why wait for someone else to make you feel good? And that’s why it’s so deeply important that we heal ourselves, taking charge of that process instead of shifting blame and responsibility to a partner. If we’re trying to fill an old void, we’ll choose the wrong partner. A partner can’t fill every gap. They can’t unpack our emotional baggage for us. Once we fulfill our own needs, we’re in a better place to see what a relationship can give us.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“You wanted to jump into doing at the start, but your performance will only be as strong as the learning and experimenting you did beforehand.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“When we’re alone we fully rely on ourselves, figure out what we care about, and learn who we are. We learn to navigate challenges on our own.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Even if we feel there’s nothing to heal, sometimes the wounds are so deep, we can’t see them anymore.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We must use the time when we are single or take time alone when we are in a couple to understand ourselves, our pleasures, and our values. When we learn to love ourselves, we develop compassion, empathy, and patience. Then we can use those qualities to love someone else.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“I discovered that I loved silence. I found that I didn’t need anything to entertain myself. I wasn’t distracted by conversation, flirtation, or expectations.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“Fairy tales, films, songs, and myths don’t tell us how to practice love every day. That requires learning what love means for the two of us as individuals and unlearning what we thought it meant.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

“We live in a world where we see keeping secrets as deceitful—a lie that we tell to make ourselves look better than we are. But in reality, we usually keep secrets out of fear and shame.”
― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go