The Last Will and Testament Quotes

“MARGARET. Perhaps I have lost my mind, Anne. It's the only thing I have left to lose, you know. Cary's gone and died and left me with nothing, not even my dignity.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“NIGEL. Great Scott. How is it the two of you ever came to be married?

DOLLY. Jeeze, um...We met only this one time at a party, and I thought I was, you know, late. And my ma said I wasn't gonna have no fatherless baby, so she made us get married. Only a couple weeks later it turned out to be a false alarm.

IGOR. One of the great love stories of our time.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“JIM. Still, it was a dreadful shame about old Cary, wasn't it?

NIGEL. Terrible shame; he missed the only good party Margaret ever threw.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“JIM. Mr. Blathdigger is no longer the Willoughby accountant. I presume he had a thing or two to say about that, but...who could hear him?”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“NIGEL. "How's this for communism." Ha! And what sort of communism was that, Jim? Certainly not Marxist-Leninist.

JIM. Oh, didn't you recognize it? That was Stalinism, my good man.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“JIM. How's this for communism? If you don't dance with that splendid old lady, I'll knock your bloody block off!”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“NIGEL. Oh, come now. It's not really communism.

DOLLY. Don't encourage him!

IGOR. How is it not communism? It isn't capitalism--

GRIMM. It isn't even economics.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“NIGEL. Alright, Comrade Semyenov. Make your case. What, in your "expert" opinion, makes this manuscript a fraud?

IGOR. I could give you any number of reasons, from the red being wrong to the paper being too thin. Or point out the fact that no one would sell a Rembrandt the size of that wall before a scrap of manuscript no bigger than this. But perhaps most compelling is that it is almost midnight and I am just as eager as anyone else to get out of this place, and I would not throw away such an opportunity just to start an argument about counterfeits with you!

NIGEL. Very well. You've convinced me.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“MARGARET. Then any and everything in this house is mine, or will be eventually.

ANNE. Over my dead body!

NIGEL. I believe that's precisely what she said.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“DOLLY. You know, my father offered me five hundred dollars not to marry you!

IGOR. Why did he offer you the money? I would have not married you for twenty dollars and a pack of Lucky Strikes.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament

“DOLLY. But can you imagine, a thing like that? Looking down at a sweet little newborn baby, all chubby and pink, and going, "Yep, no doubt about it. He's an Igor all right.”
― Allie Ray, The Last Will and Testament