Passion Play Quotes

“Jesus: Enough with the rebuking!”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“Jesus: You picked the wrong Messiah to fuck with!”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“Jesus: I was nearly lynched by a mob made up of my hometown synagogue congregation.”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“Judas: “Hey, nice uppercut, Prince of Peace. Whatever happened to your “turn the other cheek“ pablum?
Jesus: It’s good in theory, but I take things on a case by case basis.”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“I tried woodworking and it doesn’t suit me.”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“Prison is for relaxation. Exile is for tourism. Throwing stones is for exercise. Crucifixion is for recruitment.”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“What’s the difference between a Zealot and a painting of one? What? It takes only one nail to hang the painting.”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ

“Only you could punch a mate in the face, then get him to thank you for it the next morning!”
― Rick Klaus Theis, Passion Play: Written, Produced & Directed by Jesus H. Christ