Unfiltered Quotes

“There are days when I give up on myself, when I’m exhausted from dragging along the demotivated, indecisive, hopeless, tired, and restless version of myself. I wish there was a way to leave him entirely behind, or at least set him aside for a little while. Some days I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“I’m more than my anxiety,
more than my depression,
more than the things that cause my aggression.

I’m more than my guilt,
more than my desperation,
more than the things that provide me frustration.

I’m more than my resentment,
more than the emotions I try to hide,
more than the things that eat me up inside.

I’m more than my indecision,
more than my doubt,
more than the things that make me want out.

I’m more than my setbacks,
more than my fatigue,
more than the things that harm my physique.

I’m more than my loneliness,
more than my annoyance,
more than the things that cause my avoidance.

I’m more than my failures,
more than my profanity,
more than the things that cause my insanity.

I’m more than my sadness,
more than my irritability,
more than the things that cause my fragility.

I’m more than my sweaty palms,
more than my shortness of breath,
more than the things that drive me to death.

I’m more than my pain,
more than my blues,
more than the alcohol I abuse.

I’m more than my trembling,
more than my shaky voice,
more than the things that provide me such noise.

I’m more than my restlessness,
more than my tears,
more than the insecurities that have plagued me for years.

I’m more than the ear can hear,
more than the heart can feel,
more than the eye can see,
I’m beautifully me.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“There is a notion that men are supposed to be these indestructible pillars of strength. Where it’s frowned upon to show vulnerability and be emotionally expressive. Let us be honest, a large number of people’s perceptions and stereotypes regarding masculinity are bullshit! It does not make you less of a man to have depression, to wear your heart on your sleeve, to admit that you sometimes struggle, to cry yourself to sleep, or to be vulnerable. You are not a wuss, wimp, or weakling. Mental illness has nothing to do with ‘manning’ or toughening up. I have tons of respect and admiration for people who open up about their mental health struggles. It takes an advanced level of bravery, authenticity, and maturity. It takes some serious balls.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Please don’t blame someone when their mental health declines. It can be tough to judge when one is deteriorating, even after collapsing thousands of times. Signs of decline are not always imminent. Most importantly, please don’t make a person who tried to commit suicide feel bad or guilty. Trust me, they already feel like the scum of the earth.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Depression is like losing a loved one, but the person you lose is yourself.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“I don’t aim to be a poster boy for anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression deserve a collage, a collage of all the amazing people that have to wrestle with these monsters daily”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“It pisses me off when people tell me things like ‘it can’t be that bad,’ ‘It’s not the end of the world,’ and ‘think positively.’ It’s not that simple! I don’t think people who are uneducated about depression realize how crap it is to wake up angry or disappointed to be alive. Where there is nothing that makes you excited to get out of bed, your dopamine’s in the gutter and your anhedonia is boss. To battle with suicidal thoughts throughout the night. To slowly and painfully lose everything that gives you the x-factor. A place where food is disgusting and pleasure almost non-existent. Some days it genuinely feels like the end of the world, and trust me, it’s horrifying. It has been equally horrifying for those around me.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“For an employer, employing someone with mental health problems is not an occupational hazard. We might not always make the best first impressions, but if you give us a chance you might see a completely different side to us; a positive, resilient, and dedicated side. In your selection processes, don’t nonchalantly equate nervousness to weakness. I might stutter at times, come across as insecure, or get the occasional brain fart, but that does not mean that I’m not intelligent, suited, or capable. Sometimes people just need that belief from the outside, as the belief in themselves has deteriorated over time. Try to look beyond the surface, you might be pleasantly surprised.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“One of the hardest things for me to accept about having anxiety and depression is the two contrasting versions of me that seem to co-exist in me. I can go from happy to angry to suicidal in 0.01 seconds. One moment I’m fine, and before I blink, I go into self-destruct mode. One version is hell-bent on destroying myself, while the other version dreams of conquering Mount Everest, and these two versions are in a continuous power struggle with one another, as if I live a double life, where some people know one version, and others another altogether; few in my closest inner circle will get to see both versions. I fight daily to reconcile the two vastly different personas and this often makes me feel like a counterfeit. Some days I’m not even sure which version will wake up the next day and I hope for the ‘good’ version’ to greet dawn.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“There is nothing more devastating than
being unable to verbalize something that turns your whole world upside down.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“If you are part of the male population that believes that expressing emotion is for pansies, going to a psychologist is for the weak, receiving mental health treatment is for sissies, or that people who experience suicidal thoughts should suck it up; you are part of the reason why so many people bottle up or mask their emotions. It’s okay, you probably have been raised that way, but you are wreaking havoc. I’m pleading for you to be part of the solution. Don’t let your narrow-mindedness, ego, and ignorance ruin the life of your child, partner, colleague, friend, or family member. If you don’t attend to a loved one’s mental health, the next thing you might attend is their funeral.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Mental health discussions should not hog the spotlight when celebrities are involved. Everything should not just be about the Chester Bennington’s and the Robin Williams’s of the world. Yes, they were truly remarkable people in their own right, but if we focus on helping the Average Joe or Plain Jane, we might unlock their ingenuity. Don’t overlook the ‘little man,’ everyone has something important to contribute to society, regardless of their socio-demographic background.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Don’t invalidate or belittle the thoughts and feelings of others just because your reality looks different. Remember, it’s easy to yell instructions from the sideline, but it’s a whole different ballgame when you are on the battlefield. Judgment and advice are cheap, but compassion is priceless.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Screw all mental illness stigma. Having the courage to admit yourself for psychiatric care to heal is phenomenal. Shrugging off a panic attack is badass. Battling through intense spells of fatigue and demotivation is incredible. Going to the psychologist to attend to your mental health is a boss move. Achieving things despite having little to no interest or pleasure is impressive. Frequently practicing self-care is fantastic. Picking yourself up after hitting rock bottom is exceptional. Openly talking about your mental health struggles is courageous. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“I think dealing with a mental illness is something worthy of being a superhero.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Don’t let your negative self-image obstruct the spectacular view someone else has of you.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Be careful of judging or commenting on things beyond your frame of reference. Let us stop the stigma society has attached to sufferers of mental illness. People should not be negatively perceived because of their mental health status; not from an employment perspective, dating perspective, or any other perspective. The diagnosis is not necessarily the measure of the man!”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Saying ‘I’m fine’ is a lot easier than trying to explain the inexplicable and illogical feelings that constantly stalk me, and that is why the general public will never fully comprehend what people with a mental illness go through daily.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“…it’s not only the so-called ‘crazy’ people that end up in psychiatric wards. It’s hard-working, funny, generous, considerate, kind, and burnt out people; people who gave too much of themselves at grave personal risk.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Depression is many things, but it’s not a convenient excuse, it’s not an alibi. Sure, I don’t look depressed 24/7, but sometimes it happens to affect my behavior; and no, it’s not an excuse.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“When most people think about psychiatric wards, they think about people hearing voices, running around naked in the passages, licking objects etc. Trust me, I’ve been in a couple of psychiatric wards and things are not that exciting. It’s just everyday people like farmers, policemen, teachers etc. doing everyday things like in any other hospital. I want people to know that they shouldn’t be ashamed of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. You wouldn’t be ashamed of being admitted for a broken limb, so why should you be ashamed for being admitted for a malfunctioning brain?”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“When most people think about psychiatric wards, they think about people hearing voices, running around naked in the passages, licking objects etc. Trust me, I’ve been in a couple of psychiatric wards and things are not that exciting. It’s just everyday people like farmers,
policemen, teachers etc. doing everyday things like in any other hospital. I want people to know that they shouldn’t be ashamed of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. You wouldn’t be ashamed of being admitted for a
broken limb, so why should you be ashamed for being admitted for a malfunctioning brain?”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like anymore. There are days I feel sluggish and demotivated, as though someone has put my thoughts and feelings into a blender; an inexplicable mixture of boredom, irritation, frustration, and confusion. I can’t pinpoint what I’m experiencing, never mind the ‘why’ behind it. Thus, sometimes it’s hard to communicate a description of my state of being, as the origin of the feeling is often a mystery. It’s like going backward on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, without any anticipation of what is to come. I guess that is what makes it hard for other people to comprehend my feelings, thoughts, and actions and I sometimes become annoyed at well-meaning enquiries about my mood, which I’m at a loss to answer. After all, how are people going to understand what I don’t understand myself?”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“I want to call on people with mental disorders to challenge the status quo and speak up about all the things that contaminate your lives. Accept that mental illness is a part of you (not a defining part), a part of you that you don’t have to hide. Embrace it. Don’t be ashamed that your reality looks different from those of others. Remember, regardless of your gender, age, race, religion, work title, or any other sociodemographic determinant, it’s okay to have a meltdown, crumble, crack, and shatter into a million pieces. You are only human. You are well within your rights to express the true extent of the things you are experiencing. Don’t cover up parts of yourself you think are socially undesirable or culturally inappropriate. Own each and every inch of your being; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Be unapologetically you. Let the judgers judge you, let the haters hate you, let the critics critique you, but let no one silence you. Let us help normalize mental health discussions.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Whatever your role in the world of depression, know that your smile could be the last smile someone sees, your words can be the last they hear, your touch could be the last they feel; make it memorable. There are so many broken, lost, angry, bitter, sad, and suicidal people in the world. It can be the person standing behind you in the queue who had a miscarriage, the person you walk by in the mall who lost her husband, the person at the traffic light who lost his job, or the colleague who lost their zest for life for no apparent reason. Just be nice. Your niceness could be the boost that adds minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years to people’s lives. Something that requires almost no effort, can forever enrich someone else’s life in unimaginable ways.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Lastly, I want to encourage others to share their stories. Share your story through whichever creative outlet you are most comfortable with. Don’t underestimate your story’s motivational capacity! To you, your story may feel like a compilation of failures, disappointments, and hardships, but to others it may be a source of inspiration, perseverance, bravery, and strength.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Men are allowed to be emotionally expressive. Going to a psychologist does not detract from your manliness. That guy battling schizophrenia is not a fruitcake. That girl battling borderline personality disorder is not a psycho. That gentleman battling an eating disorder is not a freak. That lady battling obsessive-compulsive disorder does not need a straitjacket. People with mental disorders are not inherently violent or dangerous. These are not people who should be locked up in a loony bin on a deserted island. These are amazing people with remarkable qualities; in many instances the salt of the earth. If you put your traditional thinking, misconceptions, and stereotypes aside you might just see it.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“My message to the ignorant is that we need to abolish all ancient, traditional, and unhelpful mental health beliefs that stem from the media, movies, cultural influences, religion, or gender stereotypes. Beliefs where mental illness in itself is negatively portrayed, as well as the treatment thereof, like going to a psychologist, being admitted to a psychiatric facility, and taking medication. It’s perfectly okay for people from any culture, religious group, gender, or any walk of life to receive mental health treatment. It’s not disgraceful, weakness in character or faith, or taboo.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“So, for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, be ashamed of, or feel guilty about. Please reach out. Getting help does not make you a coward, low-life, attention-seeking, inferior, weak, unworthy, or any other derogatory terms people may spew at you. Being courageous enough to seek help takes superhuman strength. You deserve to feel better.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness

“Attempting suicide is one of the most intense, terrifying, and traumatic things one can ever experience in their lifetime. No human is designed to kill himself/herself.”
― K.J. Redelinghuys, Unfiltered: Grappling with Mental Illness