The Department of Sensitive Crimes Quotes

“All suspects should be given the chance to telephone their lawyers or their mothers, and it would not be surprising if they chose to call their mothers. After all, your mother is fall more likely to believe in your innocence than your lawyer.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“You can’t do much about a personality disorder. Cats are psychopaths at heart.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Sometimes it was difficult to be as tolerant as he wanted to be; but then, thought Ulf, the whole point about high ideals is that they are high. Being Swedish was not always easy, but you had to do your best, and hope that you didn't slip, and become... well, Mediterranean in outlook.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“The Germans had a word for everything—a word that could be very focused, very specific, because it could be constructed for a precise set of circumstances. They even had a word, it was said, for the feeling of envy experienced when one sees the tasty dishes ordered by others in a restaurant and it is too late to change one's own order. Mahlneid, meal envy, she believed that was the word—if it existed at all. ... Mahlneid could well catch on because many are bound to have felt that sort of envy as the waiter carries the dishes of others, gorgeously tantalising, past their own table....”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“They're always helpful, those people."
"Which people?" asked Ulf.
"Librarians. They know everything.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Dr. Svensson had once counselled him to think of the things you’re doing rather than the things you did.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Dogs can read signals -- look at sheepdogs; they understand hand movements for left and right. Dogs are no fools, you know." He paused. "Well, some are. Some dogs are truly stupid, Ulf.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Do you know that dogs are descendants of wolves—all dogs, even those ridiculous little dogs you see in the parks. Wolves. Imagine how embarrassed a real wolf would be if he knew that he was cousin to a shih-tzu? Of course, we shouldn’t think animals have feelings like us—I don’t think they can be embarrassed, do you? My daughter’s cat is incapable of feeling anything very much, I can tell you—and certainly not embarrassment...”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Osmotic knowledge does not require an act of conscious acquisition; perhaps she switched off, as long-term spouses tend to do. They have heard everything their husband or wife has to say—they have heard it many times—and so they simply allow it to wash over them. It was a little bit like that with her and Jo, she realised; and blushed at the thought. She had never imagined that she would be in that position—in a marriage where everything that is to be said has already been said, and all that lay ahead would be more of the same, year after year, until the release of dotage or death. The prospect appalled her. It was not what she had signed up for.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“He thought that perhaps she had been thinking the same thing, which was unlikely, but a nice thought anyway—that two people who liked one another should think the same thought at the same time.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“He thought of all the ways that so many people felt about life. Life was a matter of regret--how could it be anything else? We knew that we would lose the things we loved; we knew that sooner or later we would lose everything, and beyond that was a darkness, a state of non-being that we found hard to imagine, let alone accept.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“I like you when you're algebraic," said Ulf--and immediately regretted it. It was a flirtatious remark--describing somebody as algebraic was undoubtedly to cross a line. You would not normally describe an ordinary friend as algebraic, and then say that you liked her that way.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

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― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Advice, in my experience, is often for others, rather than oneself.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Darling, you mustn't fabricate," she said. "I know how much you want a boyfriend, but you shouldn't make men up." She paused. "There are enough men already for us to have to deal with - why add to the troubles of women by making more up?”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“People said you should never seek revenge. Bim had never subscribed to that view. Revenge was a smörgåsbord of delight - to be contemplated with anticipation, and savoured with satisfaction.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“A new master’s course was being offered in community relations. He read the short paragraph extolling the usefulness and topicality of this course. He wondered whether it would help, or whether it was no more than an aspiration—a course in what might be, but wasn’t. But at least they were trying; at least they were not instituting a new master’s programme in cynicism and indifference.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Life is a progression of partings,” said the psychotherapist. “One by one, people—and things too—are taken from us. We lose them, they die, they are shown by us to be things of transitory association.” “I’m sorry,” said Ulf. “So am I,” said Dr. Svensson.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Erik made much of his habit of returning to the water any fish he caught, but Ulf pointed out that these fish were traumatised and were possibly never the same again. “It’s a big thing for a fish to be caught,” he said to Erik. “Even if you put him back, that fish is bound to feel insecure.” Erik had simply dismissed his objection, although Ulf could tell that his remark had hit home. And that he immediately regretted, because it was only too easy to make somebody like Erik feel ill at ease. It was hard enough to be Erik, Ulf reflected, without having to fend off criticism from people like me. Ulf was a kind man, and even if Erik’s talk about fish was trying, he would take care not to show it. He would listen patiently, and might even learn something—although that, he thought, was rather unlikely.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“He could not do everything, he decided, and take all the troubles of the world on his shoulders. Who could? It was not that he was an uninvolved and irresponsible citizen, one of those who do not care about plastic bags. He was as careful as anyone to keep his ecological footprint as small as possible—apart from the Saab, of course, which ran on fossil fuel rather than electricity. If you took the Saab out of the equation, though, Ulf could hold his head high in the company of conservationists,”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“I’ll watch the temperature,” said Ulf. “Shall we meet for dinner, then?” He felt that he had to say that. He knew that dinner with Blomquist would involve his sitting there listening to the other man going on about something or other, but he had to be friendly. And, for all his irritation with his colleague, Ulf’s fundamental kindness won out, as it invariably did, and he would not want Blomquist to pick up on his irritation.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“He looked again at Angel. Her blonde hair, shoulder length, had been tied back with a red ribbon. A red ribbon stood for carnality—of course it did. And her blouse was tight—deliberately so. You don’t wear clothes that are tight unless you want to get out of them at the first opportunity—everybody knew that. And her jeans were close-fitting, and even her shoes looked several sizes too small for the feet that were within.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“That young barista you spoke to,” Ulf said. “I think we should have a word with him.” Blomquist took a tentative sip of his still-steaming coffee. “Why?” Ulf resisted the temptation to tell the policeman that it was not for him to question the direction of an investigation being carried out by the Sensitive Crimes Department”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“The colonel was clearly not one to beat about the bush. “I assume, Mr. Varg, that you are here about one of the men doing something or other. Let me apologise in advance: we try to choose our men very carefully, and by and large we make the right choices. But these days...” He shrugged. “You’ll know what I mean—we don’t have the choice that we used to have. Young men don’t fancy the military life.” “Of course, the reintroduction of national service will make a difference,” said Ulf. The colonel made an equivocating gesture. “We’ll see,” he said. “I don’t look forward to getting today’s eighteen-year-olds. Look at them, Mr. Varg, just look at them. Scruffy bunch, hah! High on drugs and electronic gizmos in equal measure.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Ulf smiled as he parked the Saab. He had much to be grateful for, in spite of his limited freedom, in spite of being a small part of a great and complex machine. Not the least thing to be grateful for was the fact that he was who he was, living where he was: he was Swedish, at a time in history when there were many worse things to be than to be Swedish; and even if there was a small number of people who would happily blow him up simply for being Swedish, then there were many, elsewhere, who lived their lives under the threat of whole armies, with generals and air forces, and all their costly and destructive paraphernalia directed against them. The misfortune of others, thought Ulf, is our misfortune too—its ripples spread a long way, touch the lives of all of us.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“So both your names mean wolf,” said Hampus. “You’re Wolf Wolf.” “It’s a common enough name,” said Ulf. “There are other names that refer to animals.” Blomquist frowned. “Not many. You don’t come across many people called ‘Dog’ or ‘Horse,’ do you?” Ulf felt himself becoming irritated. Both Ulf and Varg were perfectly good names and somebody called Hampus was hardly in a position to question the names of others. Hampus...what a ridiculous name that was—not that he would ever dream of drawing attention to it.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Being Swedish was not always easy, but you had to do your best, and hope that you didn’t slip, and become...well, Mediterranean in outlook. It was so easy, such a beguiling option, to shrug your shoulders and behave as your immediate emotions dictated. And how comfortable it must be to sit in the sun and smile, and say the world will look after itself, and that its problems will resolve themselves tomorrow, or even the day after that.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“And, of course, there was also that business with Anna and her note. He would have to watch that situation very closely and be on his guard; affairs started so easily and yet were so difficult to extricate oneself from. As far as his relationship with Anna was concerned, Ulf felt that he was standing at the brink of waters that were both deep and dangerous. He would have to be extremely careful or he would find himself embroiled in a situation from which there would be no easy escape. So he would have to do something that up until now he had never had to do: he would have to fall out of love. And he was not sure how to do that, at least not how to do it deliberately.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Ulf’s life, normally so settled and so ordered, had now become markedly more complicated. What had been the Bim Sundström case had now become the Signe Magnusson investigation, and had, in the process, transformed itself from a case of the suspected non-disappearance of a non-existent person to one involving the actual disappearance of a real person.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes

“Ulf’s life, normally so settled and so ordered, had now become markedly more complicated. What had been the Bim Sundström case had now become the Signe Magnusson investigation, and had, in the process, transformed itself from a case of the suspected non-disappearance of a non-existent person to one involving the actual disappearance of a real person. He”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Department of Sensitive Crimes