Artemis Quotes

“On a scale from one to ‘invade Russia in winter,’ how stupid is this plan?”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“It’s a simple idiot-proofing scheme that’s very effective. But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“A clumsy, awkward success is still a success.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Five a.m. was a largely theoretical concept to me. I knew it existed, but I rarely observed it.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“People will trust a reliable criminal more readily than a shady businessman.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“How dare you call me lazy? I'd come up with a scathing retort but, meh, I'm just not motivated.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“I knew what I had to do—I just didn’t like it. I’d have to blow the remaining two at the same time.
Please don’t quote that last sentence out of context.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“By the way, we also hate it when people . . . call Artemis "the city in space." We're not in space; we're on the moon. I'm mean, technically, we're in space, but so is London.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“It’s all part of the life-cycle of an economy. First it’s lawless capitalism until that starts to impede growth. Next comes regulation, law enforcement, and taxes. After that: public benefits and entitlements. Then, finally, overexpenditure and collapse.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“God damn it! I yelled to him. Will you stop wining about your problems during my murder!”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“If my neighborhood were wine, connoisseurs would describe it as “shitty, with overtones of failure and poor life decisions.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“I didn't want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“And if you want to make babies, somebody's got to get fucked.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“And like all good plans, it required a crazy Ukrainian guy.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Quality is quality,” Jin said. “Age is irrelevant. No one bitches about Shakespeare fans.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“There was something weird about being on the moon and fighting for your life with a stick and some fire.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“That’s the thing about crying yourself to sleep. When you wake up, the problems are still there.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“I envy one thing about Earthers—they get much faster internet.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“It’s important to vary your profanities. If you use the same one too often it loses strength.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“You don’t expect J. Worthalot Richbastard III to clean his own toilet, do you? I’m one of the little people.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“I live in Conrad Down 15, a grungy area fifteen floors underground in Conrad Bubble. If my neighborhood were wine, connoisseurs would describe it as “shitty, with overtones of failure and poor life decisions.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Will you stop whining about your problems during my murder?!”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“The moon’s a mean old bitch. She doesn’t care why your suit fails. She just kills you when it does.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“The city shined in the sunlight like a bunch of metallic boobs. What? I'm not a poet. They look like boobs.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“The patch was thin, so you’d think it would melt first, but physics doesn’t work that way. Before the temperature could get up to the patch’s melting point of 1530°C, everything that could melt at a lower temperature had to melt first. And the melting point of the smelter walls was 1450°C. So, even though the patch was thin and the smelter was thick, the bottom of the smelter would give out before the patch got anywhere near its melting point. Don’t believe me? Put ice water in a saucepan and cook it. The water temperature will stay at 0°C until the last ice cube melts.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis