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You Are Here You Are Here by Jennifer E. Smith
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“But a small part of him also knew that the reason he'd never ventured anywhere was because of the worry that the reality of the world wouldn't match up to his dreams.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“There are certain things in life that you'll be forgiven for, no matter how thoughtless or stupid or reckless, but if you do that same thing twice, you're on your own.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“He wondered if there was a rule that you had to love all of someone, or whether you could pick out only the best parts, like piling your plate full of desserts at a buffet table and leaving the vegetables to go cold in their little metal bins.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“But how could she tell him that the reason she always acted so disinterested in everything was because of the worry that she herself wasn't all that interesting?”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It wasn't that we forgot. But things like that sometimes get stored away, and there never seems to be a good time to dig them up again. It hurts a lot less to keep them buried. That doesn't make it right, but it's just the way it is.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“That was the thing about playing with a band, Peter thought. There was always someone else to rescue you when it seemed certain you might fall behind. Only the solo acts left themselves open to those kinds of disasters.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
tags: band
“And for the first time in his life Peter understood what the opposite of lost was: that it had nothing to do with maps or directions or staying on course; that it was, in fact, nothing more than being found.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Wasn't it just so typical that all the things you never really meant to say were the very ones that came back around to you in the end?”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Somehow he'd become the one constant in this whole uneven chapter in her life, & the idea that could change was unsettling.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“When he looked over, Emma had her head tipped back against the tree, and was humming as she watched the clouds move through the branches. Peter realized then how alone they each were. It was just that now they were alone together.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It was probably stupid of him to have thought the trip would change anything. After all, leaving home behind didn't necessarily mean leaving behind the sort of person you were. And now here he was--the guy with all the maps, the one with the directions to anywhere and anything--still feeling completely and utterly lost.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“But cemeteries are like mousetraps for memories, catching grief by the tail before it knows what's what.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“They were nearly to Annie's by now, and they made the rest of the trip in silence, Peter frowning out at the road with a look of deep concentration. Emma didn't blame him; after all, she'd insulted his entire system of beliefs. But how were you every supposed to get anywhere if you always stuck to the same route? He spent so much time charting out the world that he barely had a chance to get lost in it.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“He smiled. "All that stuff can be learned," he said. "What you're doing now, that's instinct. And it counts for a lot.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“So what? You act all mysterious to seem more interesting?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re always wandering off or running away,” he said. “But you’re a lot more
interesting when you’re just being yourself you know. When you’re actually here.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Emma said coldly. “Where else would I be?”

“You know what I mean,” he said, a rough edge to his voice. “It’s like you’re so busy trying not to act like your family that you’ve never even stopped to consider that it might not be such a bad thing.”

“Well what about you?” she shot back, aware of the bitterness in her words.
“You complain about your dad not wanting you around, and then you complain when he wants you to stay home for school. You can’t have it both wars.”

“Well neither can you,” he said. “ You can’t keep everyone at arms length and then expect them to be there for you when you need them.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Maybe the answer to all of his problems was nothing more than a darkened sky and a glittering city, a lofty perch above the world below. It seemed entirely possible that it was all just a matter of setting and location, and Peter wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It was one thing to count on someone who was dead and gone, to rely on an idea or a memory, a personal with no real influence over her life outside of her imagination. But it was another thing entirely to have someone actually want to be there for you, unfailingly and unquestioningly, someone who listened carefully and told you the truth and waited patiently until you were ready to be there for them, too.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Beneath these was a small silver-edged photo album, and Emma breathed in at the sight of the engraved names: Tommy and Emma. She found herself smiling; she'd known somehow that he would have been a Tommy. And if he'd never had the chance to become any of the other things she'd imagined for him, she was happy that at least he'd had that.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Emma knew that she'd always been on the wrong side of the line that separated her from her parents, from Patrick and Annie and Nate, even from Peter. But how could she tell him that the reason she always acted so disinterested in everything was because of the worry that she herself wasn't all that interesting?”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It wasn't long before he spotted another pay phone, a slanted structure near the river, and Annie and Emma waited patiently while he once again dialed and then hung up, but there was a strange comfort in the numbers, and words had never come easily to him anyways.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Near his foot was a map of Gettysburg, and he looked down at the ridges and grooves running across the land. It wasn't just the nation that the war had divided; it was families as well. Everyone had been fighting for what they thought was right, no matter who was on the opposite side of the line, whether it was your father or your brother or your son. It was about issues and causes and ideas, and what more could you ask of a person, Peter thought, than to risk all that they were for all they believed they could be?”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It wasn't her bother that she'd needed to make herself whole again; it was Peter. And now that she knew, now that she finally realized it ---in the same manner she came to realize most things: gradually, stubbornly, and then all at once ---it was like she'd always known it, like there was never any other way it could have been.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Around them the stubbled land was marked off by plaques and signs that explained to visitors what had happened here on a long-ago July day not unlike this one. But Peter already knew all they said and more. He looked around at the people with their noses tucked in brochures and guidebooks, and those trailing, sheeplike, after tour guides and park employees. He was used to feeling somewhat out of place most everywhere he went--at school or the barbershop, even at home, but here, where he knew everything, all the names and dates and facts, he somehow seemed to fit, and the knowledge of this welled up inside him. It was like he'd been born a blue flower in a field full of red ones and had only now been plunked down in a meadow so blue it might as well have been the ocean.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“He's more like me, I think: burdened with the realization that what goes on in his mind is somehow different from what goes on in everyone else's. Even those closest to us.
And how you can't think about that for too long, because that thought - the truth of our isolation - is too much to bear.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“It was one thing to count on someone who was dead and gone, to rely on an idea or a memory, a person with no real influence over her life outside of her imagination. But it was another thing entirely to have someone actually want to be there for you, unfailingly and unquestioningly, someone who listened carefully and told you the truth and waited patiently until you were ready to be there for them, too.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“Unlike most people, Peter didn't look to the future for reassurance; he understood that the only thing certain in life is the past. History repeats itself again and again, and every story has been told before. It seemed to him that life could be terribly unoriginal in that way, and the only manner of certainty -- the only way to know what might be ahead -- was to look back on what had already happened.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“That was the thing about playing with a band,... There was always someone else to rescue you when it seemed certain you might fall behind. Only the solo acts left themselves open to those kinds of disasters.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here
“He wondered if there was a rule that you had to love all of someone, or whether you could pick out only the best parts, like piling your plate full of desserts at a buffet table and leaving the vegetables to go cold in their little metal bins.”
Jennifer E. Smith, You Are Here