Marriage of Inconvenience Quotes

“Fuck a fucking fuck of fucking ducks.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“If she doesn’t learn to weld here, she’ll just learn it on the streets.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“You’re going to bend, and so am I. We’re going to compromise, negotiate, and distract each other. Being together means our priorities are going to change. That’s what happens when you make space for another person. Comfort zones will be stretched.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Illness is a reminder that we don’t really have any control. And I understand why people find schizophrenia frightening, believe me, I get it. Hallucinations, delusions, it’s difficult to imagine having a mind that is not fully your own, just like it’s difficult to imagine having cancer, where your body isn’t fully your own. But people living with paranoid type often experience less dysfunction than people living with other subtypes. They’re often able to live, work, and care for themselves. And yet, almost every depiction you find in books or movies make people living with paranoid schizophrenia the villains. Can you imagine if books and movies did the same thing to people with cancer?”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I’m in love with you. You’re my fucking—fucking sunshine. My goddamn everything. You’re the center of my whole fucking universe. I’d give up swearing for you, I swear. If you asked, I’d never say the word fuck ever again, that’s how much I love you. I love you more than fuck, so that’s a whole fuckavalot.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I said, you fuckfaced shitstain,”—his words were low, slow, measured— “get the fuck away from her, or I will fucking fuckily fuck you the fuck up.”

I stared at Dan, my lips parting in wonder. He’d just used some variation of the F-word as a noun, verb, adverb, and adjective all in one sentence. I didn’t know whether to be mortified or impressed.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“You have alerts set up for me?" I asked before I could consider my words.
Alex stared at me, his expression thoughtful. "Would it freak you out if I said I did?"
"A little, yes."
"Then, no."
I studied him for a beat. "You're lying."
"Correct.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I’d thought for so long that I would become a schizophrenic, and if I was a schizophrenic, that’s all I would ever be. But a person doesn’t become their diagnosis. Your mom isn’t breast cancer, you don’t become cancer. You live with cancer. So often, we think of a person living with mental illness as their mental illness, and that’s unfair. A person is never their diagnosis, not even my mom. Delilah showed me that. She lives—and has lived—a full life. She has a husband. They travel. She’s a photographer, an artist. She tells the funniest knock-knock jokes I’ve ever heard. She takes her meds every day, but still has hallucinations from time to time. She is not schizophrenic. She lives with schizophrenia.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“if you’re not just a little bit afraid of letting down one or both of your parents, then you must’ve had shitty parents. I’m not talking about paralyzing fear—paralyzing fear also means shitty parents—I’m talking about a sliver of worry, a shard of concern. Take my parents, for example. I couldn’t care less what my pop thought. He was a shitty parent.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I swear Seamus was conceived by anal sex. There’s no other explanation for him being such an asshole.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I was dazed. I was amazed and dazed and frazzled and bedazzled. And bewitched.
This was the worst. And the best.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“But still, big fucking kaboom. The earth shook, the angels sang, the heavens opened. St. Pete tossed me a high-five. He might’ve winked—dirty old bird—and I might’ve also forgotten my name.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“sometimes people are thoughtless, and they make mistakes. I mean, yeah, ideally, let’s do our best to be responsible. However, no one is perfect. That’s why we have the concept of consequences and forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean there’s no consequences, it just means we accept and deal with the consequences, and then we move forward.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Now that you’ve crushed this little man’s evil hopes and dreams, I imagine he has a hairless cat to stroke and a monologue to prepare.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Tell her. Confess.
If I told her now, she might not give me cake.
Daniel, confess.
But... cake.
No cake until you confess.
Shit.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Don't shit on a plate and tell me it's fudge, Daniel. You called after midnight.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Begging your pardon, but I'm not just a secretary. I seriously, seriously despised it when people called secretaries and administrative professionals just a secretary. Being a secretary was a multitasking marathon, a daily gauntlet of making everyone happy all the time.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“It’s difficult—no, it’s impossible—as a child to see yourself as worthy or worth knowing if no one else does.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“We’d spent two years—two fucking years—with a misunderstanding between us. I didn’t want to do that again, not even for two hours.

So what am I going to say?

It was a particular place to be, this limbo. It had me asking myself philosophical questions and thinking things like,

What is love?

And, How do you know you’re in love?

And, Why does she think she loves me?

And, If this shitty feeling is love, I’m going to be so pissed.

Because if this shitty feeling was love, if this choking, desperate mix of happiness and pain I felt every time I saw her or thought about her was love, if I’d been in love with her this whole fucking time and I’d been lying to myself and lying to her and wasting time, then I deserved a big, fat fucking punch in the face.

“Crap,” I said, shaking my head at myself.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I realized there was no way she could show all that skin and wear a bra. Unless there was some bra made of witchcraft and the invisible wings of fairies that I didn't know about.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“A thing has no value except through use and the accumulation of memories from its use,”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Shards of glass.

As Stan escorted me from Caravel, I decided that if I formed a band, I would call it Shards of Glass. And we’d only sing really, really angsty songs about my ex, Dan O’Malley. So many words rhymed with Dan. It was meant to be.

Man. Plan. Fan. Ban. Tan. LAN. Uzbekistan. The songs would basically write themselves.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“He laughed, definitely forced, and glanced around at his security team. The didn't laugh, likely because they weren't in on the joke, nor were they paid to play the role of sycophants to a psychopath.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Potassium is just fine. And water is completely benign. But introduce K to H2O, and shit explodes in real time.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“almost every depiction you find in books or movies make people living with paranoid schizophrenia the villains. Can you imagine if books and movies did the same thing to people with cancer?”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“Parts of you are ugly and messy. I still want you. I want the ugly and the beautiful and everything in between. You don't pick and choose the parts of a person you want. Shit, I'm the ugliest fucker I know, and I want to give it all to you.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I will fucking ruin you, do you hear me? You are nothing! Nothing!

I sighed, tired of his irrelevant presence. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be sure to file that info right between fuck this and fuck that.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“I embraced it. Actually, I tackle-hugged it.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“So, if you can’t bring yourself to mourn his passing, maybe, instead, mourn the relationship you wished you’d had with your father, so you can let him go.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience

“A thing has no value except through use and the accumulation of memories from its use,” she’d said. “What good would it do to leave such a thing in the china cabinet collecting dust? What value would it have? I remember my grandmother and my mother every time I use this teapot, and I use it with my children, so they’ll remember me.”
― Penny Reid, Marriage of Inconvenience