Old Man's War Quotes

“For as much as I hate the cemetery, I’ve been grateful it’s here, too. I miss my wife. It’s easier to miss her at a cemetery, where she’s never been anything but dead, than to miss her in all the places where she was alive.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Damn real live people, getting in the way of peaceful ideals.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“What is it like when you lose someone you love?" Jane asked.
"You die, too. And you wait around for your body to catch up.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.
Visiting Kathy's grave was the less dramatic of the two.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Do not mourn me, friends
I fall as a shooting star
Into the next life”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“The problem with aging is not that it's one damn thing after another—it's every damn thing, all at once, all the time.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I despise you and I love you, you who are my damnation and salvation both.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“When you're a teenager and you're in love, it's obvious to everyone but you and the person you're in love with.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Guns don’t kill people. The aliens behind the triggers do.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“There has never been a military in the entire history of the human race that has gone to war equipped with more than the least that it needs to fight its enemy. War is expensive. It costs money and it costs lives and no civilization has an infinite amount of either. So when you fight, you conserve. You use and equip only as much as you have to, never more.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“You do what you have to do to give people closure; it makes them feel better and it doesn’t cost you much to do it. I’d rather apologize for something I didn’t really care about, and leave someone on Earth wishing me well, than to be stubborn and have that someone hoping that some alien would slurp out my brains. Call it karmic insurance.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“The universe is a big place. Maybe we're not in the best neighborhood.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I’m a monster. You’re a monster. We’re all fucking inhuman monsters, and we don’t see a damned thing wrong with it.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I think back to the day I stood before my wife's grave for the final time, and turned away from it without regret, because I knew that what she was was not contained in that hole in the ground. I entered a new life and found her again, in a woman who was entirely her own person. When this life is done, I'll turn away from it without regret as well, because I know she waits for me, in another, different life.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Many BrainPal users find it useful to give their BrainPal a name other than BrainPal. Would you like to name your BrainPal at this time?
"Yes," I said.
Please speak the name you would like to give your BrainPal.
"Asshole," I said.
You have selected "Asshole," the BrainPal wrote, and to its credit it spelled the word correctly. Be aware that many recruits have selected this name for their BrainPal. Would you like to chose a different name?
"No," I said, and was proud that so many of my fellow recruits also felt this way about their BrainPal.
Your BrainPal is now Asshole, the BrainPal wrote. You may change this name in the future if you like. Now you must choose an access phrase to activate Asshole. While Asshole is active at all times it will only respond to commands after it has been activated. Please choose a short phrase. Asshole suggests "Activate Asshole" but you may choose another phrase. Please say your activation phrase now.
"Hey, Asshole," I said.
You have choosen "Hey, Asshole." Please say it again to confirm. I did. Then it asked me to choose a deactivation phrase. I chose (of course) "Go away, Asshole."
Would you like Asshole to refer to itself in the first person?
"Absolutely." I said.
I am Asshole.
"Of course you are.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us. I miss meaning something to someone, having that part of being human.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“She was my friend. Briefly, she was my lover. She was braver than I ever would have been in the moment of death. And I bet she was a hell of a shooting star.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I've always liked swimming, so long as my head's above water.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Well, I miss my wife, you know," I said. "But I also miss the feeling of, I don’t know, comfort. The sense you’re where you’re supposed to be, with someone you’re supposed to be with.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“I didn’t mind getting old when I was young, either,” I said. “It’s the being old now that’s getting to me.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“If you’re the best that the Earth has got to offer, it’s time we bend over and get a tentacle right up the ass.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“After another few days, I noticed I became annoyed whenever I would actually have to ask Asshole for something. How quickly the creepy becomes commonplace.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“This is my rife. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rife is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I have master my life. My rife, without me, is useless. Without my rife, I am useless. I must fire my rife true. I must shoot before he shoots me. And I will. - Marine Rife Creed”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“We don’t get to choose our battles.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“What is it like when you lose someone you love?” Jane asked. “You die, too,” I said. “And you wait around for your body to catch up.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“Relations were never good (how comfortable can you really be with a race that sees you as a nutritious part of a complete breakfast).”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

“In the next room, a very nice young lady, who happened to be completely naked, wanted me to tell her anything I could possibly remember about my seventh birthday party.”
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War