The Great Troll War Quotes

“The honorific was long winded, but correct. Technically speaking, all practitioners should be introduced this way, but it just soaked up useful time that might be otherwise spent drinking tea, or chatting.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Great Troll War

“No one’s going to be killing any Dragons,’ said the Princess. ‘It is my order.’ ‘I’m a knight,’ he said simply, ‘killing Dragons is what I do.’ ‘And burning idiots like you to powdered charcoal,’ said Colin, ‘is what we do.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Great Troll War

“Why dig a hole in the garden, when potatoes grow wild in Finland?”
― Jasper Fforde, The Great Troll War

“I'm fine", I said, which is what people who aren't fine always say.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Great Troll War

“Tell us a weird idea you've come up with that's totally out there.'
'Well,' said the author, 'I made George Formby president-for-life of Great Britain.'
'Who's George Formby?' asked Tiger.
'What's Great Britain? asked Boo.
'Okay,' he said, 'here's another: a book about Humpty Dumpty as a police procedural.'
'I think that's been done', said the Troll. 'Everyone's always retelling nursery rhymes. I mean, it's not a massive stretch, is it?'
'How about a social order based wholly on the strength of your colour vision?'
'Better,' I said. 'is there a sequel?'
'Don't you start.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Great Troll War