I Totally Funniest Quotes

“Remember that country singer on American Songster, the girl whose father only let her order ketchup, mustard, and relish at McDonald’s because ketchup, mustard, and relish are free and you can mix them in a cup of hot water to make McSoup?”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“Be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“I guess when you’re a drama teacher, you’re used to memorizing long speeches.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“#FUNNYHURRICANEKID.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“The bestselling author of all time, James Patterson.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“physically impossible for pigs to look up at the sky, so they’ll never know when one of their pals is flying.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“best”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“for Hollywood,” he says when we bump into each other in the hall. “Thanks, Vincent, but—”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“Here’s a joke you can”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“If we all took our problems and threw them into a pile next to other people’s and saw what they had to deal with, we’d grab our own problems back as fast as we could.”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“So, how do you make a tissue dance?” I cringe a bit. “Put a little boogey in it?”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story

“tee-hee”
― James Patterson, I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story: