Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview Quotes

“The next morning, Mom set two plates of scrambled eggs in front of me and Georgia and then sat down to watch us eat. She loves to watch us eat, which I totally don’t get. I mean, she works at a diner. She watches people eat all day long.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“But let’s face it: Understanding me—I mean, really understanding me and my nutty life—isn’t so easy. That’s why it’s so hard for me to find people I can trust. The truth is, I don’t know who I can trust. So mostly I don’t trust anybody. Except my mom, Jules. (Most of the time, anyway.)”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they’re part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Then you’re a big loser, you don’t get to finish the game, and the rest of the year will be about as much fun as a case of never-ending diarrhea,”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Excuse me, sir, you got dog poop on your shoe.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“In the meantime, I like things the way they are. Maybe that makes me weird. Maybe its even part of what makes me an ‘artist,’ like Mom said, but it just kind of works for me this way…”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Let’s try that again,” he said. “This is my seat. Understand?”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“off this kid’s bad side,”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“HAVE SOMETHING”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“School Code of Conduct. Everything you need to know about how to behave at school—and how not to behave—is right here in this book.” A bunch of teachers came around and started handing out a copy to each student in the gym. “When you receive yours, open up to page one and follow along with me,” Stricker said. Then she started reading… really… slowly. “‘Section One: Hills Village Middle School Dress Code…’” When I got my copy, I flipped all the way to the back of the book. There were sixteen sections and twenty-six pages total. In other words, we were going to be lucky to get out of this assembly by Christmas. “‘… All students are expected to dress appropriately for an academic environment. No student shall wear clothing of a size more than two beyond his or her normal size….’” HELP! That’s what I was thinking about then. Middle school had just started, and they were already trying to bore us to death. Please, somebody stop Mrs. Stricker before she kills again! Leo took out a pen and started drawing something on the inside of the back cover. Stricker turned to the next page and kept reading. “‘Section Two: Prohibited Items. No student shall bring to school any electronic equipment not intended for class purposes. This includes cell phones, iPods, cameras, laptop computers….’” The whole thing went on and on. And on. And on. By the time we got to Section 6 (“Grounds for Expulsion”), my brain was turning into guacamole, and I’m pretty sure my ears were bleeding too. People always talk about how great it is to get older. All I saw were more rules and more adults telling me what I could and couldn’t do, in the name of what’s “good for me.” Yeah, well, asparagus is good for me, but it still makes me want to throw up. As far as I could tell, this little green book in my hands was just one long list of all the ways I could—and probably would—get into trouble between now and the end of the school year. Meanwhile, Leo was drawing away like the maniac he is. Every time Stricker mentioned another rule, he scribbled something else on the page in front of him. Finally, he turned it around and showed me what he was working on.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“But she definitely had my vote.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“When I got my copy, I flipped all the way to the back of the book. There were sixteen sections and twenty-six pages total. In other words, we were going to be lucky to get out of this assembly by Christmas.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“DID YOU JUST CALL ME A LOSER?” Bear roared back. “No, I called myself a loser,” I said, and slammed my door. “Loser.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“The next girl to speak at assembly was Lexi Winchester. I knew Lexi from my old school, and she was a real nice kid. Still, Jeanne Galletta had my vote. Sorry, Lex.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“So anyway, ta-da, here it is, book fans, and all of you in need of AR points at school,”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“And he was probably right. Unless Hills Village Middle School had a witness protection program, I was dead meat. Man, I hated Miller.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Well, well,” Miller said. “Look who it is.” He pulled me up and slammed my back into the wall. Then he got right up in my face. I could see the Cheetos in his teeth.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Next, I went out to the garage and snuck a can of Zoom out of Bear’s not-as-much-of-a-secret-as-he-thinks-it-is stash. He keeps cases and cases of it out there, just for himself, but he never notices if a few are missing.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Mom wouldn’t be home until late, and both Georgia and Bear were asleep by nine—Georgia because she’s a kid, and Bear because he’s always so tired after a long day of NOT working. I’m”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“going. “‘Your wife is ugly, and your daughter too. I think this play is stupid, so guess what? I’m out of here and you can kiss my—”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“By Friday, I could tell something was missing. Just breaking the rules by itself wasn’t going to cut it. I needed something more. I needed a boost in my game.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Mom said. “I’m proud of you, honey. You must be doing something right. Whatever it is, just keep doing it.” “Oh, I will,” I told her, just before I shoved some more scrambled eggs into my big fat not-quite-lying mouth.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“How about you, Rafe?” she asked when Georgia finally took a breath. “What do you think of middle school so far?” “Well,” I said, “it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“I decided that every rule in the Hills Village Middle School Code of Conduct should be worth a certain number of points, depending on how hard it was to break. Of course, this meant I could get into some serious trouble, so I decided to make that worth a bunch of points too.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“of all, it needed a name. I thought about it for a while and came up with Operation R.A.F.E., which stands for: Rules Aren’t For Everyone”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Now Mom was working double shifts at the diner all the time just to make enough money, and Bear was spending 99 percent of his time on our couch, except maybe to go to the bathroom or to collect his stupid unemployment check.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget I’m a loser, Loser,” I said as I zoomed down the hall. “DID YOU JUST CALL ME A LOSER?” Bear roared back.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“School was unbelievable,” I said. “I kind of, well, sort of, met this amazing girl, and then I set off the fire alarm during an assembly—” Okay, that’s not what I really said, but it wouldn’t have mattered if I did. Bear’s not exactly a good listener.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters

“I opened up my copy of the Code of Conduct and turned to Section 11, Rule 3: “Students shall not tamper with smoke or fire alarms under any circumstances.” Then I took Leo’s pen and drew a line right through it. That felt pretty good too. One rule down and… well, all the rest to go.”
― James Patterson, Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life - Free Preview: The First 20 Chapters