The Like Switch Quotes

“The first strategy for breaking the anger cycle is “Never try to rationally engage angry people.” Anger must be vented before offering problem solving solutions.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“They are also comfortable with self-disclosure, which is a building block in creating close personal relationships. To people with high self-esteem, rejection is part of life, not a reflection on their self-worth.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“People have a need to be right, but people have a stronger need to correct others. The need to be correct and/or to correct others is almost irresistible.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“People are attracted to individuals and things they cannot readily obtain. In the case with things, people are more attracted to a coveted object because it is out of their reach. When the object of desire is finally gained, the attraction for the object rapidly diminishes.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Men with lower self-esteem tend to select women who are less physically attractive and women with lower self-esteem tend to select mates who are lower income earners”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Henry Ford summed it up nicely when he observed: “If there is any one secret of success it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Golden Rule of Friendship—If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“We like those who resemble us, and are engaged in the same pursuits. . . . We like those who desire the same things as we [do].”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“The truth is simple, direct, and not complicated.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“INCREASED RESTRAINT INCREASES DRIVE Parents are fully aware of this law! If you tell your children not to do something, they want to do it all the more.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Commonalities connect people. Finding common ground quickly establishes rapport and a fertile environment for developing friendships. Aristotle wrote, “We like those who resemble us, and are engaged in the same pursuits. . . . We like those who desire the same things as we [do].”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere. —ZIG ZIGLAR”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Words cannot change reality, but they can change how people perceive reality. Words create filters through which people view the world around them. A single word can make the difference between liking and disliking a person.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“My own daughter went through a teenage phase of testing her mom and me. She once brought home a young man to meet us. He had four-inch-high gelled prongs that stood atop his head, tattoos covering most of his exposed skin, and a motorcycle in our driveway. I cordially greeted him without saying what I really felt about him or how disappointed I was with my daughter’s choice of companion. The next day, my daughter asked me what I thought of the young man. I wanted to command her never to see him again, but I knew that if I increased restraint, she would be that much more motivated to continue to date him. Instead, I chose the following strategy. I told my daughter that her mother and I raised her to make good judgments and that we trusted her decisions. If she felt the young man was a good person to have in her life, we would support her decision. I never saw him again.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Simply apply the techniques and relax, be yourself, and let the techniques do the work.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“In long-term relationships, communication is a key element in sustaining or draining the feelings we have toward one another. Open, honest interchanges between long-term partners build trust, demonstrate a caring attitude, and provide vital information about the ongoing health of the relationship.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“People have a need to be right, but people have a stronger need to correct others. The need to be correct and/or to correct others is almost irresistible. Making presumptive statements is an elicitation technique that presents a fact that can be either right or wrong. If the presumptive is correct, people will affirm the fact and often provide additional information. If the presumptive is wrong, people will provide the correct answer, usually accompanied by a detailed explanation as to why it is correct.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“You can be right without wronging someone. Instead of asserting your right to be right, ask people for their advice. That allows them to be part of the decision-making process. Additionally, they feel good about themselves because you came to them to seek their advice, which elevates them to an honored position.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Make it a habit to pause for a nanosecond or two before speaking, especially if you are an extrovert. This pause gives introverts a chance to gather their thoughts. Remember, introverts tend to think before they speak. If you interrupt their thought process, they tend to become frustrated and, consequently, like you less. The pause gives extroverts time to think about what they are about to say.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Listening is more than simply remaining silent while your person of interest is speaking. It involves total focus on what is being said. Because we can think at about four times the rate the normal person talks, there is a temptation to let our thoughts wander. Resist this temptation.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Glory has a short expiration date; goodwill has a long shelf life. A good idea produces a large plate that can be divided into many pieces.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Compliments, to be effective, should be sincere and deserved. Paying someone a compliment when you don’t really believe what you’re saying or when the recipient of the compliment hasn’t earned the accolade is counterproductive to good relationship building and is lying (the antithesis of trust).”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“If you are an extrovert and the person you want to meet is an introvert, expect to see some inherent differences in the way each of you perceives the world. Extroverts get their energy from being with other people and seek stimulation from their environments. Extroverts often speak spontaneously without thinking. They do not hesitate to use a trial-and-error method to arrive at a decision. Conversely, introverts expend energy when they engage socially and seek alone time to recharge their batteries. Introverts seek stimulation from within and seldom speak without thinking. They also carefully weigh options before making decisions.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“when you make other people feel good about themselves (the Golden Rule of Friendship) you not only get people to like you, there’s also a collateral benefit; they want to make you feel good as well.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“When you meet another person for the first time, it is a defining moment of truth in how that relationship will develop. Will that person treat you like a friend or shun you like a foe? The Golden Rule of Friendship—If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves—can be a deciding factor in which side the person puts you on.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“When encountering individuals you met earlier, you can employ a conversational bridge-back. This refers to your use of portions of earlier discussions at a later time. Conversational bridge-backs can be comments, jokes, gestures, or other things unique to the earlier conversation. Using a conversational bridge-back sends the subtle message that you are not a newcomer to the person’s circle of friends and acquaintances. You are a familiar person with mutual interests. Conversational bridge-backs also allow you to pick up the friend-building process where it left off at the end of the first conversation. That, in turn, allows you to move forward in your friendship building without having to start out from scratch.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“Duration has a unique quality in that the more time you spend with a person, the more influence they have over your thoughts and actions. Mentors who spend a lot of time with their mentees exercise a positive influence over them. People who have less than honorable intentions can negatively influence the people they spend time with.”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“The Friendship Formula consists of the four basic building blocks: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. These four elements can be expressed using the following mathematical formula: Friendship =Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. —MAYA ANGELOU”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

“similar to the power tools used by construction workers. The key is to let the tools do the work. When I was young, I routinely used a handsaw to cut wood. One day my father let me use his newly purchased circular saw. I took the power saw in hand and began to cut a piece of wood. I applied the same pressure to the power saw that I would have applied to a hand saw. My father tapped me on the shoulder and told me to ease up on the pressure and let the saw do the work. The techniques in this book are based on similarly sound principles. Simply apply the techniques and relax, be yourself, and let the techniques do the work. You will be amazed at the results. 2. You must actually use this new knowledge in dealing with people in your everyday life. Knowing the best way to do something is great, but only when you actually utilize what you have learned. Always remember that knowledge without action is knowledge wasted. 3. You need to constantly practice what you have learned. Friendship skills are like skills in general. The more you use them, the more proficient you become; the less you use them, the quicker you lose them. If you”
― Jack Schafer, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over