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The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

3.91  ·  Rating details ·  4,240 ratings  ·  353 reviews
From a former FBI Special Agent specializing in behavior analysis and recruiting spies comes a handbook filled with his proven strategies on how to instantly read people and influence how they perceive you, so you can easily turn on the like switch.

The Like Switch is packed with all the tools you need for turning strangers into friends, whether you are on a sales call, a f
...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published January 13th 2015 by Atria Books
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Average rating 3.91  · 
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 ·  4,240 ratings  ·  353 reviews


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Michelle
Jan 06, 2015 rated it really liked it
More like 4.5 stars...

This book ended up being more enjoyable and interesting than I initially expected. When I first considered reading it I thought... "Hmmm...non-fiction. Well this will take me awhile." I ended up reading the entire book in a few weeks, which never happens with non-fiction books. But the subject interested me, so I tried it out. I am glad I did because it gave me some insight and made me more aware of non-verbal cues that I may be giving people when I am listening to them. I
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Karen
Feb 14, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This audiobook is MUCH more interesting than one might think at first glance... the author, an FBI field agent, describes how to use and interpret verbal cues and body language for more effective communication. From start to finish, a great listen. I found so many wonderful tips that I've already begun applying in my business and personal communication. Highly recommended.
Cheryl
Jan 21, 2015 rated it really liked it
I had so much fun reading this book. Which may be surprising that I am saying this. Because when you think of self-help books, you don't always think "fun". Yet, this book really did won me over. Right from the start it took my a long time to get through the first chapter. The reason is because I kept putting the book down to run to my co-workers to show they a paragraph a had just read and wanted them to read. I learned so much from this book.

To be honest I had picked up this book because I th
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Kiri Fiona
May 29, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fic
3 Stars…& 1/2 stars

Quote… If you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves


description

What I loved:
I really enjoyed the real world examples from Dr. Schafer's time with the FBI. They were interesting, and I liked trying to spot the ways he put his own advice into action.

Learning more about body language. Since I listened to this on Audible, I got the accompanying PDF, and I'm always down for reading that feels like a game. This was one of those books that gives you things to spot and situations to analyze. A
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Sung Hwan
Oct 25, 2016 rated it it was ok
A PUA book in disguise, only read if you are socially awkward or on the spectrum. Many things this book state are pretty obvious, and will only make you more self-conscious about meeting people and making acquaintances. Meeting people is about trying to have fun, not calculating every move you make just to make others like you - thats the psychopath in you talking. People will like you if you genuinely like them.

Also the last chapter on emails and online security is so irrelevant to the book th
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Sydney
Mar 16, 2017 rated it did not like it
Listen when people talk. Smile. That's pretty much the gist of the advice you'll find in this book.
Cindy Matthews
Feb 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
A great book for writers, actors and any others who want to observe and note human behavior in their creations, especially non-verbal behaviors. It's amazing how little most of us think about how we are being perceived by others, and by changing a few of our non-verbal behaviors here or there, we can make friends and influence our boss for the better.

Former FBI Agent Jack Schafer worked in behavioral analysis and honed his skills in reading both non-verbal and verbal behaviors in a wide variety
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Laurent
Aug 15, 2015 rated it really liked it
4 stars -- really liked it.
After finishing the book I thought the introduction and the epilogue were the most and only interesting parts of the book. Now 3 months later I start making sense of some other things too.

The book provides an answer on the question: how do you get people to like you, i.e., to find you an agreeable person? Jack Schafer, as an ex-FBI agent, developed this skill during his career to turn foreign ambassadors into American spies and to make child abusers confess their crime
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Gary
May 31, 2016 rated it really liked it
Excellent book. Examples from Schafer's years at the FBI make the book particularly interesting. The book gives you the basics of what you might find in the Dale Carnegie's classic book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" but with more specific suggestions and theory behind the principals covered. You can sum up both the Carnegie and Schafter's books main principal as "the secret to connecting with with people is to show interest in them", however, The Like Switch gives more hard facts and ...more
Anastasia
Dec 28, 2019 rated it liked it
Some interesting points but told in a tedious manner.
Meg Needler
Jan 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Excellent! Well Worth Your Time!

Excellent book! Very informative. Although I knew some of the information presented, most of it was new to me.
The author wrote in an easy-to-understand style. (This is not written like a textbook.) Dr. Schaefer has a way with words, occasionally peppering The Like Switch with a great phrase. I like that!
A lot of information was presented. (I will definitely reread this book.) However, the information was revisited/reinforced throughout the book. (The author's teac
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C.
Aug 12, 2016 rated it did not like it
Going through the notes that I have tried to write down from this book, I noticed that even those are there to remind me how excruciating this read could possibly be.

In short this book goes through various social behaviours from a perspective of one not meeting another human being before. How to tell if someone that you are having a conversation with is interested in that talk or not, accompanied by a picture of how that person does not make eye contact for a long period of time would be an exam
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Laura Graves
Feb 09, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I am always intrigued by books with authors who have real world experience as experts in their field, and I found the subject matter intriguing, so I decided to give this book a try. I'm so glad that I did! The writing style is extremely easy to read and interesting, so I was able to get through it rather quickly. I also really enjoyed the use of pictures to accompany the points in the book. I felt that it helped to clarify some key points, and also left me with an image in my head to connect wi ...more
Christina Dudley
Mar 27, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
Written by a former FBI Behavior Analyst (or something like that), this book contains some very interesting spy stories and techniques for winning trust or uncovering cyber lying. Less interesting were the bits on reading body language ("duh!" in places), but I see how it could be useful for many men to read or for those on the autism spectrum who struggle with interpreting facial expressions and other communication subtleties.

The author's Golden rule for making people like you is the rather cy
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Annie
Apr 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: recommend
This book provides a lot of key concepts from different topics: reading body language, listening and communicating, making friends, and dealing with difficult people. It also provides plenty of examples of what to look for in trying to read someone's body language, how to approach the situation, and what to say. Even if you're familiar with some of the topics like reading body language (knowing when someone is receptive or opposed to what you're saying), there is still useful information on how ...more
Carmel
Jan 16, 2020 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dnf
DNF. There’s very little in this book that you don’t already know: want to appear friendly? Watch your body language, smile. Want people to like you? Be a friend, not a foe.

My advice: want people to like you? Read a different book.
Charissa
May 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2018, non-fiction
This book is written by a former CIA special agent specializing in human interaction. He goes through the nonverbal and verbal clues humans use to turn on the Like switch. I listened to the audio version of this and really liked it. The research and data was fascinating. He gives you lots of proven points to master to get people to like you…even enemies. Loved it.
Gillyz
Dec 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
Before reading it, I supposed it was another book full of obvious ideas.

Instead, it was a very pleasant reading and it made me discover several interesting strategies and concepts I hadn't heard about before. Definitely worth reading it.
Bernie Gourley
Jun 24, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: those interested in rapport building.
Written by a former FBI behavior analyst, this book presents tips on how to build rapport -- be it with a co-worker, a love interest, or the subject of an interrogation. There’s not a lot of material in this book that’s surprising or unexpected, but the stories of counter-intelligence operations and criminal investigations make for greater intrigue than the typical book of this nature. (Though the most common type of story in it may be the tale of “how I got a free upgrade from an airline employ ...more
Izzati
Jan 20, 2020 rated it really liked it
The Like Switch was a surprisingly easy read. I enjoyed it mostly for the anecdotes littered throughout the book.

I think it could've done better at categorizing and making more meaningful headings. And a lot of what was mentioned was nothing really new or unexpected. Most of them were something we already knew, subconsciously or otherwise.

That being said, I did enjoy the book. The stories and examples related within make it easier for the readers to understand the points being made.
Sawyer Spencer
Feb 15, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This is a interesting book. I really enjoyed this book because it taught me how to better utilize skills I did not know I already had! I have already started to use what I learned in this book at work. I have read books like "How to Make Friends and Influence People" and other similar titles which were great. I feel like this is the newer version of one of those books. Overall great read.
Michael
Sep 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Somewhat in the spirit of Dale Carnegie, Jack Schaefer goes into detail about human interactions and communication, including tells when some may be more likely to lie, or how ways of communicating ideas may cause more opposition than support or vice versa. It tickles the analytical mind.
Zumrud_Huseynova
Aug 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
Words can not change reality, but they can change how people perceive reality. Words create filters through which people view the world around them.

People have a need to be right. But people have a stronger need to correct others.
Zhuo Zhang
Mar 18, 2019 rated it liked it
An easy and straight-forward reading. Friendship formula: proximity + duration + frequency + intensity. A little repetitive though I understand the author is trying to emphasize his points.
Buddy
Aug 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Takeaway: in order to persuade people, you have to make them like you. To make people like you, make them feel good about themselves.
Rebecca Willmott
Jul 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Practical thoughts on interactions with those around you, combined with cool stories about the FBI.
Alice
Aug 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
Cool real life stories with tips along the way. Some parts seemed redundant, although it's nice to see which ideas he thought were most important.
C.S. Areson
Jul 18, 2020 rated it really liked it
interesting storytelling with the lessons
Alfred Timothy Lotho
The book makes a few good points such as those regarding watching for non-verbal cues and building rapport. However, there were a lot of stories that didn't seem genuine, not in the sense that they're fake, but in the sense that they may have been "edited" to bring about the point better or to conceal some confidential information. The way it is written is to preachy as well. The overall feeling was that "I am right and you as a reader should believe me. I have years of experience in this and wh ...more
Pap Lőrinc
Nov 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Good intro (and refresher) to body language queues.
People are always on the defensive and it's hard to get around their shields: this book hints at ways to avoid triggering that defense mechanism.
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