The Wedding Contract Quotes

“You know that's why mermaids swim around topless all the time, right? It's because their boobs are too big and all bras are C shells.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“Go fuck a cactus, classless cunt.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“Go fuck a monkey, Ferro. I don't have time for you or your fake sincerity.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“Sometimes things don't work out and the reason has nothing to do with you, or how good you are.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“I wanted to hate you, but I just couldn't.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“I can't bullshit you. In all this time, you're the only person I can't fool. It's like you're bullshit-proof.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“I pull away and all the magical qualities of his touch fade. It's the worst feeling in the world.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract

“Most couples get married because it's time, not because they're in love. They might have money issues, parental pressure, or they're simply tired of being alone—so they pick Mr. Good Enough and tie the knot.”
― H.M. Ward, The Wedding Contract