SeinLanguage Quotes

“The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don't die, and that's it. They stop trying. Why don't they just keep trying? What's changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact. it's worse, because now they've found out here's one more thing you stink at. And that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. They give up too easy.
I say, pills don't work? Try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune-up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“But the health clubs are a little too strict.
What's with the high level of security? The picture IDs, the security guards, the people signing in and out... What is this, NORAD? I mean the people that have a membership go twice a year, who's breaking in? And what if they catch the person, what then? They run. That's aerobic, makes it even worse.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“When you are driving, you're outside and inside, moving and completely still, all at the same time.
I think that's something.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going "what do you mean there's no time?”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“The most annoying thing about the couple of times that I worked in office is that when you show up in the morning you say "hi" to everyone and then for some reason, you have to continue to greet these people all day every time you see them.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“I love those small airplane bathrooms. It's like your own little apartment on the plane. You go in, close the door, the light comes right on. It's a little surprise part every time you go in.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“Every other man is looking great saint after marriage.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, O Melhor Livro Sobre Nada

“Nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. To me, there's no better way than a paperweight to express to someone, "I refused to put any thought into this at all.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“All plans between men are tentative. If one man should suddenly have an opportunity to pursue a woman, it's like these two guys never met each other in life. This is the male code.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“When you're married, you are a part of a vast decision making body. Before anything is accomplished, there's got to be meetings, committees have to study the situation.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“The best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best time to be sick is in a relationship.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night?”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“I believe we're all secretly happy we can't figure our relationships out. It keeps our minds working.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

“Well that's it, I give up. I really don't know what the women are thinking. I've talked with them. I've studied them. I've asked them to study me. And I have to admit I am still at aquare one.”
― Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage