Tourist Season Quotes

“Fuck you and your skinbook and your murder dimples and your stupidly beautiful eyes. I won't be swayed by a hot psychopath.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“She’s obviously a terrible person and completely unhinged. And I one hundred percent do not find her in any way adorable. Absolutely not.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“It means I promised I would hunt you until the end of time. And what I get at the end of that hunt might change, but one thing remains the same. You’re mine, Harper. I’ll never let anyone take you from me. Not some asshole like McMillan. Not Sam Porter. Not even the sea.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Nolan Rhodes said he would walk through hell to drag me out if I ever tried to run. But I don’t hide in hell. I bring it to life.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Listen,” I say, dropping the severed hands to my sides, “if we’re going to be bitter enemies, I really think we need to improve our communication skills.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I’m in love with the woman I came here to kill.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I’M SURE NOBODY GOES ON vacation expecting to be dismembered and put through a woodchipper, but some tourists are just assholes and deserve their fate.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season: the new must-read dark romantic comedy from the author of Butcher & Blackbird

“We might have started as enemies. Two monsters who are missing their souls. But our shadows share a likeness.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Grief is a phantom that never gives up. It never grows tired of haunting our hearts. It clings on, somehow surviving even when other memories drift away.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Pretty murder bird,” Morpheus says from the garden wall. Our gazes cut toward him as he pecks the last of the morsels off the stone. “Nom, nom. C is for cookie.” Morpheus gives three knocking clucks and then mimics the sound of the diesel tractor engine. Nolan’s eyes slide to the woodchipper and then back to mine, disbelief now mixing with the revulsion that still simmers in his face. “Did you name your woodchipper after the beloved Sesame Street character Cookie Monster and then teach a raven to beg for human snacks made from the people you murdered?”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“If you run, I will find you. You can hide in the farthest reaches of the deepest hell, and I will still drag you out. Even the devil can’t save you from me.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“You might have been sent from hell to torment me, but you feel just like heaven.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“But I’m as powerless as the sea is against the moon.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Somehow, his shadow is warmer than the sun.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I remember Mead smiling at Adam in return, but it never reached the lightless abyss of his eyes.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I’M SURE NOBODY GOES ON vacation expecting to be dismembered and put through a woodchipper”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Calvert”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I’ll make it hurt next time, if that’s what you want,” he whispers into my ear in a decadent vow. I shudder at the thought, my core clenching with immediate need. “But this time, you’re going to be my good girl and take it sweet.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“First, check into the hotel. Second, go for a walk to loosen things up. Maybe find a sandwich. Third, start hunting down that bitch to give her the slow and painful death she deserves for making me suffer immeasurable grief and pain and torture and indignity. Fourth, hot tub.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Cookie Monster has been my faithful tool through twelve tourists now, including Mr. Mahoney. And he’s always hungry for more. Just like me.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I thought I’d forgotten how to do this. How to flirt with a man. I thought I’d shut all that away years ago. I might be only a few months shy of twenty-nine, but I thought I’d buried those skills a long time ago. I thought they’d died the day I did.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season: the new must-read dark romantic comedy from the author of Butcher & Blackbird

“There’s a very particular brand of fury. One I’ve seen in my own eyes. The kind that only blooms when the world peels back and you see the abyss of grief and loss and anguish that lurks beneath it. You might claw your way out, riddled with scars. You might hide your deepest, unhealing wounds just to make it through each day. You might survive it. But that’s the worst part. Because you can’t unsee it. You always know hell is there.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“When I first announced this series, so many of you asked, “Will you ruin any foods?” and “Will there be eyeballs?” You are truly phenomenal, and I love you. This one’s for you. … Also, YES.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Waiting for the water to boil theoretically takes two minutes, but it might as well be two hours. But I’ve learned something important in these years of waiting. The anticipation of reaching your goal is sometimes even better than the satisfaction of achieving it.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“Fuck you and your skinbook and your murder dimples and your stupidly beautiful eyes. I won’t be swayed by a hot psychopath.” Then she would have plucked out his eyeballs, slit his throat, and exhumed all the bodies by herself. She’d know what to do with Sam and how to protect Arthur without getting caught. She wouldn’t need anyone’s help.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“He’s just a guy. A completely psycho serial killer guy with a decent skin suit and muscles for days and some cute dimples.” I squeeze my eyes shut and turn to lean against the counter. “You should just feed him to Cookie Monster and be done with it.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“I don’t know shit about topiaries.” “You’ll learn. I have faith in you.” “Please don’t.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“She’s pretty fucking adorable when her feathers are ruffled.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“If you hate me so much,” she says as I cup her breast and pinch her nipple to draw a gasp from her parted lips, “you’d better fuck me like you mean it.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season

“The most dangerous monster is the one right next to me. When he’s there, I’m not afraid of the dark.”
― Brynne Weaver, Tourist Season