Raising Girls Quotes

“WHAT IS CALMNESS? Calmness is not a character trait, it’s simply a skill. You have to decide that it matters, that the quality of your presence would be better if you slowed yourself down and were really connected to people and the moment you are living in. Then you practise until gradually it becomes part of you. It benefits everyone around you – they feel peaceful and happy in your presence. It’s exactly what children need in a parent. And it benefits you – with less stress hormones, you live longer and feel better. Calmness is well worth cultivating. Calmness is made up of certain actions; breathing deeper, dropping your shoulders, settling your muscles, feeling your feet strongly planted on the ground, focusing your thoughts on the job in hand in a steady easy way, and not going off into panicked thoughts. Even just counting three or four breaths, in and out, will slow your heartbeat and calm your mind down. Calm people are actually doing these things automatically; when an emergency strikes they intentionally calm themselves more in order to counter the tendency to panic and do the wrong thing. Self-regulating your level of emotional arousal is an incredibly valuable skill for life. All you have to do is notice, am I calm? If not, breathe a couple of times consciously, feel your feet on the ground, and notice how, as the last burst of adrenaline clears away, the calmness response starts to kick in. Practise this for a few days, and soon the natural appeal of calmness will pull you more and more to that peaceful and steady place. Everything is better – the taste of food, the scent of flowers, the feel of the water in your shower, warm on your skin. You will find that time slows down, and you can think more in the pause before you open your mouth. And that has real benefits!”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls in the 21st Century: Helping Our Girls to Grow Up Wise, Strong and Free

“Computers, iPads, and DVDs have their place, but for small children through to teens, these electronic devices can warp the senses and affect brain development negatively, because they are all flat and clean and the same distance away. You don’t refocus your eyes or move about enough to develop the balance and activity centers of the brain. And”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls: How to Help Your Daughter Grow Up Happy, Healthy, and Strong

“Je důležité si uvědomit, že KAŽDÝ z nás někdy někoho šikanoval, každý z nás byl někdy obětí šikany a všichni jsme někdy byli přihlížejícími, kteří buď zasáhli, nebo nezasáhli.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Je pravda, že v tradičních společnostech se dívky ve čtrnácti letech běžně vdávaly. Dívku však poutala železná pravidla stanovující, jaké chování je akceptovatelné, a definovala každou vteřinu jejího života.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Nedávno ale chopili Lego do svých pastí marketingoví odborníci, kteří rozhodli, že je třeba vytvořit jeho dívčí verzi.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Než si totiž pořídíte děti, život občas dokonce odpovídá vašim představám a záměrům. Pořád můžete mít iluzi, že ho máte pod kontrolou - a to je pocit, který skutečné rodiče už dávno opustil.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Nemůžeme ptákům žalu zabránit, aby nám prolétli životem, ale nemusíme jim dovolit, aby se nám uhnízdili ve vlasech!”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“a clutter of toys and materials actually makes for less play - it’s all too much choice. If”
― Steve Biddulph, Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls: From babyhood to womanhood-helping your daughter grow up wise, warm and strong

“Algunos creen que la disciplina es una cuestión de «ganar» o «vencer» a tu hija. Pero éste no es el objetivo; lo que queremos es hacerla más fuerte. Debemos ayudarlos a manejarse, a gestionar sus emociones, y a ser capaces de pensar bien incluso cuando se ven sobrepasadas por las emociones. (En nuestro libro The Secret of Happy Children10 se habla más de este método de «quedarse de pie y pensar», tanto para niños como para niñas.)”
― Steve Biddulph, Educar niñas

“Los ordenadores, los iPads y los DVD tienen su utilidad, pero estos aparatos electrónicos pueden distorsionar los sentidos de los niños pequeños y perjudicar el desarrollo de su cerebro, porque son planos, carecen de texturas y deben mirarse a una distancia determinada. No permiten enfocar el ojo ni moverse, algo necesario para desarrollar el equilibrio y los centros de actividad del cerebro. Y con las pantallas no se experimenta el sentido de amar ni de relacionarse con un animal como con algo que tocas o abrazas.”
― Steve Biddulph, Educar niñas

“Las niñas deberían tener un montón de ropa vieja y resistente para que no les preocupara ensuciarse cuando pintan o juegan con agua o pegamento; de ese modo no se asustarían al mancharse la ropa o la piel. En realidad, las niñas pequeñas no necesitan ropa fina ni prendas de moda. De hecho, a estas niñas pequeñas, las prendas excesivamente ornadas y vistosas solo les fomentan una preocupación por su aspecto. La moda de los pequeños es para satisfacer el gusto de los padres; si crees que tu hija no está lo bastante mona con una camiseta y un pantalón de peto, lo que tienes que hacer es mirar menos revistas. (No hay nada más triste que ver a una cría vestida con un trajecito cursi y muy «femenino», pues que lo único que puede hacer con esa ropa es sentarse y poner carita de niña «buena».) Hace poco una madre me dijo: «Antes solía decirle a mi niña de dos años: “Este vestido te queda precioso”, o “Qué mona estás”. Pero ahora le digo: “Ponte estas bambas (o estas botas de agua), así podrás correr y jugar”».”
― Steve Biddulph, Educar niñas

“Hacedme caso, los bebés nunca encajan en tu tipo de vida. Los bebés cogen los kleenex de tu vida ¡y hacen con ellos una bola llena de mocos! Aunque lleves tu maternidad o paternidad muy bien, tu mundo deberá reorganizarse. Los bebés se encargarán de ello. No me decido a susurrarlo o a decirlo a voz en grito, pero ahí va: al menos hasta que pasen veinte años no volverás a tener prioridad en tu propia vida. Si has pasado veinte o treinta años concentrado en ti mismo, la paternidad o maternidad será un gran reto. Pero será positiva. Con suerte, la paternidad y tu hijo te compensarán con el amor suficiente, pero es importante que sepas dónde te has metido y cuál es tu papel.”
― Steve Biddulph, Educar niñas

“Целта на рекламите е да въздействат на разума ви - да ви разтревожат и да ви направят неудовлетворени. Ако искате да продадете нещо на момиче, независимо дали е на четири или на четиринайсет години, първо трябва да се погрижите да се почуства несигурна - за външния си вид, приятелите си, дрехите си, теглото, кожата и косата. Всяка част от нея може да доведе до провал.
Телевизията, списанията, билбордовете и музикалните клипове бълват към момичетата посланието си "бъдете слаби" от всички страни. Резултатът: външният вид се превръща в основна грижа на деца, които дори не би трябвало да се замислят за това.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Светът Е тъжно мястои децата могат да приемат това, стига да ги оставим да изживеят чуствата си, докато стоим до тях и им изпращаме сигнала "Да, но не е нужно да се справяш сам".”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls

“Гневът също е един от защитните ни механизми. Ако се използва правилно, гневът не се изразява във викове, удряне на хора или обиждане, а в силата да не допускате да се разпореждат с вас. Ако дъщеря ви различава сигналите на тялото си - повишаване на температурата, напрягане на мускулите, стискане на челюстта или намръщено изражение, - значи знае: "Карат ме да върша нещо, което не искам" или "Тези хора се държат злобно, няма да допусна да постъпват така с мен".
Най-бързият и най-добър начин да използвате гнева е да го вербализирате. Научете дъщеря си да казва: "Това не ми харесва" силно, с изразителен поглед и високо вдигната брадичка; "Остави ме на мира" или просто да си тръгне, като не сваля поглед от човека, който я е обидил или наранил.
Упражнете това с нея, научете я да изглежда и да звучи категорично. Ако приятел я е ядосал, може да каже: "Няма да го направя" или "Не, няма" по-любезно, но уверено и ако се наложи да повтори: "Казах какво изпитвам". Вие, разбира се, също може да покажете модел на подобно поведение и тя ще го имитира, ако се наложи.”
― Steve Biddulph, Raising Girls