Disenchanted Quotes

“By most accounts, Boric the Implacable was, while he was alive, an incomparable badass. By all accounts, he was an even bigger badass after he died.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“It is also said that history is written by the victors. This was particularly true in the Old Realm, where the official historians at the Library of Avaress had been required for centuries to be named Victor.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“Declaring war on Skaal increased patriotism among the people, made them forget about all their other problems, killed off some of the excess population, often resulted in the acquisition of some valuable booty, and — most importantly — relieved Boric’s crushing boredom. It was too bad about the killing, of course, but most of the peasants were probably going to die of plague or starvation anyway.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“He had intended his address to be somewhat more comprehensive than this but was forced to cut it short, having been stabbed between the ribs with a broadsword.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“Boric, feeling dizzy and light-headed, shambled toward Randor’s corpse, which was still making an impressive effort to pump blood to Randor’s head. His head unfortunately lay some three feet away — an insurmountable distance for even the most robust circulatory system.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“Dead kings were honored in the Six Kingdoms only insofar as they had the good sense to stop walking around above ground.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“Celiac”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“pumice”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“screech”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“This particular ogre, who went by the name Skoorn, was (by ogreish standards) exceedingly clever, and he had developed a taste for what ogres call “screech melons.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“She's right, thought Boric. I'm a dead man riding a winged bear named Bubbles.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted

“Boric’s birth was unremarkable, being only the first of many experiences involving a vagina, lots of friction and grunting, and the copious secretion of bodily fluids.”
― Robert Kroese, Disenchanted