How Hard Can It Be? Quotes

“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”
“Um . . . okay.”
I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”
Oh. My. God.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“Crazy didn’t just run in my family . . . it stopped and strolled and hung out.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“It takes a while for the heat to work in this piece of shit, but when it kicks in, you’ll sweat like a fat whore at confession.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“What in the hell are you digging for?” “The seat belt.” “Oh.” She shrugged guiltily. “I cut them out. Everybody’s doing it.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and slammed it shut. I shouldn’t have come. I should have waited outside for Jack, told him my family had leprosy, and sent him on his merry way. After I boinked him in my new car.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“I’d never read a romance novel about conjoined twins. It was a huge market that had never been tapped. I had just come up with the new Twilight,”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“I opened my mouth and projectile-vomited on her from head to toe. The more I retched, the more I had to retch. It was a disgusting self-fulfilling prophecy. Her howls and screeches were music to my indebted ears. Her hair was covered and her net top held my gift beautifully.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“She crossed her toothpick legs, and I realized with sickening clarity that she was going commando.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“Nancy writes romantic cookbooks!”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“and a build like a brick shithouse.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“Mr. Fine-ass.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?