The Joy of Hate Quotes

“People ask me what I am politically and I've previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian after being around conservatives.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“I have a rule: Anything that can be done privately does not need to be performed publicly. It’s why I love the gays but I hate their parades. Actually, I hate all parades. Marching to celebrate something you’re born as seems silly. (As I write this, St. Patrick’s Day is in full bore in Midtown. It’s delightful how celebrating a heritage requires you to pick fights with strangers and then pee in a parking garage. The upside—the sea of clover-painted drunks moving in unison—might be the only green energy I’ve ever seen work.) And what’s the point of a parade anyway? A bunch of yahoos who share some affinity, walking in one direction? Who decided this was entertainment? For previous generations, this was called a migration, or more often, refugees fleeing for their lives”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“It was then that I realized that while playing the well-meaning tolerant individual (in short: liberal) garnered you fans and grades, it didn't matter. In my heart and head, I was a fraud.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“People who use their religion as a framework to kill people, simply , are not nice people. Yes, that's quite a stand I'm making, but the idea that people are systematically executed because they don't share your God is beyond barbaric. The fact that there are people in our own country who seem to tolerate that, while being intolerant of a Christian's biblical stance regarding gay marriage, makes me want to go to leave the United States and go to a more sensible place, like Texas.

There are more things I refuse to tolerate (pretentious music criticism, clove cigarettes, slow-moving ceiling fans, restaurant hostesses who pretend they own the joint, people who walk and text on a crowded sidewalk, Hostess Snowballs, people who drop subzero in their conversation when they aren't talking about the Arctic winds, people who bring their own bedroom pillows onto flights, pharmacists who yell out your prescription in front of other customers, Time Warner Cable, Sting's chest hair) but I'll get into that later.... I may not do that...though, because I refuse to tolerate lists. They're lazy. And listy.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“...I refuse to tolerate lists. They're lazy. And listy.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“There are more things I refuse to tolerate (pretentious music criticism, clove cigarettes, slow-moving ceiling fans, restaurant hostesses who pretend they own the joint, people who walk and text on a crowded sidewalk, Hostess Snowballs, people who drop subzero in their conversation when they aren't talking about the Arctic winds, people who bring their own bedroom pillows onto flights, pharmacists who yell out your prescription in front of other customers, Time Warner Cable, Sting's chest hair) but I'll get into that later.... I may not do that...though, because I refuse to tolerate lists. They're lazy. And listy.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“I realized that no one needed to make fun of liberalism. It was hilarious on its own.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“That was pretty easy, and I wrote it while delousing my pet tapir.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“...makes me want to go to leave the United States and go to a more sensible place, like Texas.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“People who use their religion as a framework to kill people, simply , are not nice people. Yes, that's quite a stand I'm making, but the idea that people are systematically executed because they don't share your God is beyond barbaric. The fact that there are people in our own country who seem to tolerate that, while being intolerant of a Christian's biblical stance regarding gay marriage, makes me want to go to leave the United States and go to a more sensible place, like Texas.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage