Calamity Quotes

“Damn, I miss the internet. You could always find people doing stupid stuff on the internet.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“We're not moments, Megan, you and me. We're events. You say you might not be the same person you were a year ago? Well, who is? I'm sure not. We change, like swirling clouds around a rising sun.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“The sun peeked over the horizon like the head of a giant radioactive manatee.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“My Megan is a sunrise, always changing, but beautiful the entire time.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“You…can ride a bike, can’t you?”
“Sure I can,” I said, getting onto one of the squeaky things. “At least I used to be able to. Haven’t done it in years, but it’s like riding a bike, right?”
“Technically, yes.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“The world's gone mad: joining it is the only solution.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Cupcakes are too dainty for a Scotsman. Give him one, and he’ll ask why didn’t you shoot the wee cake’s parents instead and serve that.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Emergency? Knighthawk sent. I’m just bored.
I blinked, holding my phone and rereading that text.
Bored? I sent. You’re literally spying on the entire world, Knighthawk. You can read anyone’s mail, listen to anyone’s phone calls.
First, it’s not the whole world, he wrote. Only large chunks of North and Central America. Second, do you have any idea how mind-numbingly DULL most people are?
I started a reply, but a flurry of messages came at me, interrupting what I was going to say.
Oh! Knighthawk wrote. Look at this pretty flower!
Hey. I want to know if you like me, but I can’t say that, so here’s an awkward flirtation instead.
Where are you?
I’m here.
Where?
Here.
There?
No, here.
Oh.
Look at my kid.
Look at my dog.
Look at me.
Look at me holding my kid and dog.
Hey, everyone. I took a huge koala this morning.
Barf. The world is ruled by deific beings who can do stuff like melt buildings into puddles of acid, and all people can think of to do with their phones is take pictures of their pets and try to figure out how to get laid.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Pre-Calamity people had been weird. Awesome too--evidence: castle---but still pretty weird.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Failure is refusing to fight. Failure is remaining quiet and hoping someone else will fix the problem.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“You want to fight a god? You'd better have one on your side too.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Sometimes stupid is right," Megan said, then paused. "Hell. I hope nobody ever quotes me on that one.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“You know, the fact that you were educated in a gun factory kinda shows sometimes,”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Didgeridooing?” Megan asked from over my shoulder.

“Profanity filter on my mobile,” I said.

“You use a profanity filter? What is this, kindergarten?”

“Nah,” I said. “It’s hilarious. Makes people sound really stupid.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“The robots, on the other hand, acted like a bunch of youthful dreams and got thoroughly crushed.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“You realize he’s claiming to have been in the Olympics, she sent. But a leprechaun stole his medal.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“I thought I’d gotten over feeling like I need to strangle members of this team. Turns out my desire to murder Cody in a violent, dehumanizing fashion had nothing to do with the darkness. It was completely natural.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“People are people. Whatever happens, they make communities, struggle for normalcy. Even”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Mercury?" Mizzy asked .
"Yeah," I said, taking the globe and turning it over.
"Isn't that stuff, like, reaaaal bad for you?"
"Not sure," I admitted.
"It causes madness," Abraham said, than after a moment, "So no big changes for anyone in this particular car.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Groovy? Is that some kind of code word?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“The comment quieted the room, like a sudden shout of "Who wants extra bacon?" at a bar mitzvah.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Epics are weak because they are fools. They will destroy this world. Give men power, and they abuse it. That is all one needs to know.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“He was afraid of stepping up, of becoming everything he could be—not because the powers themselves frightened him. But because if he tried, then the failure was far, far worse. At”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“I hate you,” I muttered. “Ach, now, don’t be like that. Ghosts are drawn to negative emotions, you see.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Cody said. “And David…” “Yeah?” “Y’all ever stick your tongue in my ear, and I’ll shoot ya in yer bagpipes.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Is it gonna take my breath now,” Mizzy asked, “or, like, sometime down the road? I’d like to be prepared.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“To a drone I’d have a tiny heat signature, like a squirrel or something. A secretly very, very deadly squirrel.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“everything grown out of solid salt,”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Get out. I’ll send a bill with a drone. If you survive, I expect it to be paid.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Keeping him in here is like snuggling up to a bomb, content that it’s not going to explode simply because you can still hear it ticking.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity