Notorious Nineteen Quotes

“Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I can give you a better 'and then'," Ranger said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I have your gun" I pulled the Ruger out of my bag and gave it to Ranger. He held the gun flat in his hand and looked at it. "It smells like orange blossoms."

"I washed it and sprayed it with air freshener"

"You washed it?"

"I wore rubber gloves and scrubbed it with my vegetable brush. It was.. icky"

He yanked open the driver's side door, pulled me out of the car, and kissed me. The kiss involved tongue, and a hand on my ass, and made my nipples tingle.

"I can always count on you to brighten my day" Ranger said.

Ranger drove off, and I got back into the Buick.

"That was hot," Lula said. "Imagine what he'd do if you washed his Glock

-- After Stephanie threw up on Rangers gun.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I slipped the acres of pink taffeta over my head and struggled to get it zipped. What had originally been a dress from the Little House on the Prairie collection was now straight out of the Little Whore-house on the Prairie collection.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“God bless YouTube,” Lula said. “You don’t even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Whoever thought a naked beach was a good idea never sat in one.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“He blew himself up.”
“Get out! You mean like guts all over the place?”
“Not all over the place,” I said. “He was pretty well contained, all things considered.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“He opened two blouse buttons and traced a line along the top of my bra with his fingertip. He bent his head, brushed a kiss across my breast, and slipped his hand inside my bra. I think I might have moaned a little, and I steadied myself by sliding my hand up the inside of his thigh. It turns out that just because I think I could have a future with Morelli doesn’t mean I’m entirely immune to Ranger’s hotness.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“I could help you,” I said. “Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“You don't mind if I take a picture of this guy with my cell phone, do you? I need to prove he's dead.'
'Knock yourself out,' Morelli said. 'Last time an FTA of yours went dead you asked the EMTs to drive him to the courthouse.'
'There's a lot of paperwork when the FTA is dead,' I said. 'It's easier when you can have him show up in court.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“You do understand that your life isn't normal, right?'
'Barrel was texting and he stepped off the curb without looking,' I said.
'But you were here,' Morelli said. 'How does it happen that you're always in the precise spot when disaster strikes? Your car's been blown up how many times? And it's never your fault. Remember when you fell off a fire escape into dog diarrhea? And the time you dated a serial killer?'
'I liked that serial killer,' Lula said. 'He could make a damn good pork chop.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Money isn’t everything.’‘The only people who say that are people who have enough money to pay the rent.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“My eyes never got lower than your nipples. If it wasn’t for the fact that Morelli would shoot me I would have taken you on his front lawn.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“He shouldn’t have shot Tiki,” Logan said. “Hawaiian gods get even. Did you see what Tiki did to his foot? It flew right off his leg when you kicked it!”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Lucille has me going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.'
'How's that working for you?' Lula asked.
'It's a nightmare. I go there, and I'm in a room filled with perverts. It's like being in a bakery where everything is free and you can't eat anything.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“total sense, but it was as”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Whose birthday?” I asked. “No one’s,” Connie said. “We’re celebrating that you’re not dead.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“When are you going to start saying nothing?”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“You sound like your mother.” “Sometimes she’s right.” Truth is, she was almost always right. And my life would probably be improved if I listened to her more often.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“If I had a Yeti hiding in my closet I’d take the cat and go someplace else too,” Lula said. We”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Something’s going down,” I said to Morelli. “All the players are here. Maybe we should call the police.” “I’m the police.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Morelli was an amazing lover, but Ranger was magic.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“That’s how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they’re lookin’ to find poloponies.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen

“Not that I’m aware,” Sunshine said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Notorious Nineteen