Hard Tail Quotes

“I gave the wretched beast a look that said plainly I’ll deal with you later.
He flicked his tail at me, cat-speak for Do I look like I’m bothered?”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“Feeling inspired, I grabbed one of Jay’s cookbooks from the kitchen shelf and flicked through until I found a recipe for something I recognised. Lasagna. That was just pasta, and pasta was easy, right? Trying not to be put off by the list of ingredients longer than my small intestine, I scanned the instructions. Chop onions… I could do that. Brown mince…trickier but manageable. Probably. Make a roux in the usual way… I sighed, shut the book with a snap and went off to make dinner in my usual way: pierce film; bung in microwave; wait for bell.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“God. How would I cope if I went to jail? I'd never even been to boarding school.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“I was coming so hard I literally saw stars. My orgasm seemed to go on forever, blacking out my vision and tearing through my body so violently I felt it had to leave a scar—and God, I’d wear that scar with pride.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“If I really cared about Matt, I wouldn’t want him to be unhappy. And I was fairly sure that mourning the untimely death of a live-in lover was likely to be a bit of a downer, at least for a day or two.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“I spent a restless night plagued with excruciating dreams of Adam sucking me off in front of Matt, Jay and my mother. Matt and Jay weren’t paying much attention, being too busy excavating each other’s tonsils with their tongues, but Mum was staring with folded arms and narrowed eyes, occasionally muttering, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Timothy—show a little enthusiasm!”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“Most people seemed to rate the discovery of America pretty highly; I’d have to say that, for me, it paled into insignificance beside the discovery of my prostate.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail