J.L. Merrow > Quotes

“It's sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone.”
― J.L. Merrow, Pricks and Pragmatism

“I was thinking of Cambridge, and then I got a bit homesick for a minute, 'cause I never been this far away from home before. But the I remember you're here, and now I'm not homesick no more.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go"
I didn't get why he wanted me to take something, but he seemed really worried about it. So I looked around, and he had a bowl of fruit on the side, so I grabbed an apple, 'cause I always get hungry after I've been drinking.
"I'll take this, okay?" Then I left him there, but I took the knives and I hid them in the hall cupboard, just in case.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like Beauty and the Beast.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“I've been an idiot."
"That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me".”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but the computer wouldn't let him.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“If you forget your dreams on waking, does that mean they never happened? That the people in them never existed?”
― J.L. Merrow, Trick of Time

“When a bloke takes you out for a meal You’d think sex would be part of the deal Not a pat on the head And a cold lonely bed When he leaves without copping a feel”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“ 'You must've been waiting for someone like me to come along,' I said. I meant, because of the big bed. But Larry looked at me all funny and said, 'Yes, I think I was.' ”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“I gave the wretched beast a look that said plainly I’ll deal with you later.
He flicked his tail at me, cat-speak for Do I look like I’m bothered?”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“You never did...anything else with Ren?"
I knew he wasn't talking about me painting him and stuff. "Why would I want him when I got you?" And then I got worried, 'cause I wasn't sure if I still had Larry or not.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“He said, "Al, that's the stupidest question you've ever asked in your life," but I don't reckon it was. I bet I ask way stupider questions that that every day.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“Al, you're the most wonderful man I've ever been terrified by down a dark alleyway. Will you marry me?”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“Feeling inspired, I grabbed one of Jay’s cookbooks from the kitchen shelf and flicked through until I found a recipe for something I recognised. Lasagna. That was just pasta, and pasta was easy, right? Trying not to be put off by the list of ingredients longer than my small intestine, I scanned the instructions. Chop onions… I could do that. Brown mince…trickier but manageable. Probably. Make a roux in the usual way… I sighed, shut the book with a snap and went off to make dinner in my usual way: pierce film; bung in microwave; wait for bell.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“A pirate once shouted ‘Avast! I’ve caught you, you seadog, at last! Best pull out your sword— I’m coming aboard! Drop your britches, and climb up me mast!”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“All right, here’s a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs When I nearly got mugged So now I’m forever Dave’s slave.” There was a short silence. I cringed. “Um, sorry. Came out a bit gay, that one.” Bugger, bugger, bugger.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“I got Larry to pose for me first off. It took awhile before I got any sketches done, though, ’cause every time he got his kit off, we ended up fucking. Then Larry had a good idea. He said we should fuck first and do pictures after, and that worked pretty good. I love looking at Larry when he’s just been fucked.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“So come on, tell me all the dirt about your date. Did he tie you up with his black belt? Show off his mystic knowledge of Eastern sex practices? What?” I let my head slump into my hands. “He gave me a kiss and said good night.” “He didn’t! The bastard.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“I frowned. “Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“God. How would I cope if I went to jail? I'd never even been to boarding school.”
― J.L. Merrow, Hard Tail

“I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“Look, I really appreciate you bringing me here, but I think there’s something you ought to know about me.” David smiled. “If it’s that you’re gay—“ Oh, puh-leeze. “No—God, no. I mean, yes, obviously, I’m fruitier than a greengrocers’ convention, but no, that wasn’t what I was about to say.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“Knut, this is Jude. Remember I told you about him? He writes poetry.” Knut looked my half-Japanese self up and down. “Haiku?” he guessed. “Gesundheit,” I muttered sourly.”
― J.L. Merrow, Slam!

“We did sixty-nine that night. Larry went on top so he didn’t get squished. He’s really good at sucking dick. I wondered if he’d got exams in that too.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“But we had to stop ’cause Larry can’t throw for shit, and people in other punts were complaining about being hit by strawberries. Even though they was Marks and Spencer’s strawberries.”
― J.L. Merrow

“I never know what people want to hear when they say that stuff. And it’s not like anything about me is interesting or nothing. “Have you always lived in Cambridge?” I nodded. “Do you live alone?” I nodded again. So then he gave up on twenty questions and started telling me about himself.”
― J.L. Merrow, Muscling Through

“His gaze kept sliding in my direction, then zipping back to Phil, as if he’d heard you should make eye contact with people you’re talking to but had never actually seen it done.”
― J.L. Merrow, Pressure Head