Torn Quotes

“Today's young people have gay friends whom they love. If they view the church as an unsafe for them, a place more focused on politics than on people, we just might be raising the most anti-Christian generation America has ever seen, a generation that believes they have to choose between loving and being Christian.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“...the story serves as an important reminder to all of us that sometimes, when people are hurting, they don't need our advice and theological theorizing as much as they need our understanding and comfort.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“In a Gays-vs.-Christians world, admitting you’re gay makes you the enemy of Christians.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“But there shouldn’t be a clash between “God’s Truth” and “more loving.” In the Bible, Truth and Love are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. God’s Truth is all about God’s Love for us and the Love we ought to have for one another. We are being untrue to that Truth if we treat people unlovingly. And we are missing out on the full extent of that Love if we try to divorce it from Ultimate Truth. We Christians must work to repair this schism in the church. If the church is to survive much longer in our culture, it must teach and model the Christianity of Jesus—a faith that combines Truth and Love in the person of Jesus Christ, revealed to us in the Bible and lived out in the everyday lives of his followers. That is what we say we believe. It’s time we start acting like it.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“My choices, it seemed, were to be branded a sinner and live my life alone; to abandon my faith, the one thing I held most dear in the entire world; or to lie to everyone, pretend I was straight, and forget about it all.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“... challenge the church to do better, be more of who Christ wants us to be ...”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“If anyone had a right to lecture people about their sin, it was the sinless son of God. If even he could meet sinners as equals, how much more should we Christians---all sinners ourselves---treat as equals the people we encounter in our lives?”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“God's truth!' one side shouts.
'More loving!' comes the response.
'God's truth!'
'More loving!'
'God's truth!'
'More loving!'
But there shouldn't be a clash between 'God's truth' and 'More loving.' In the Bible, Truth and Love are two sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other. God's Truth is all about God's Love for us and the Love we ought to have for one another. We are being untrue to that Truth if we treat people unlovingly. And we are missing out on the full extent of that Love if we try to divorce it from Ultimate Truth.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“Unfortunately, some churches are now so worried about being arrogant and unbending like certain other Christians that they fail to stand for anything at all. They hang question marks over all the major doctrines of the faith or throw them out entirely. Bit by bit, they lose the things that set them apart as Christians.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“I pray that Christian parents will heed the message of this parable and treat their children with that kind of love, even when they disagree on issues like homosexuality. If we can’t get this right within our own families, how are we supposed to get it right on a larger scale? A loving response must start at home.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“This is disturbing news for all of us in the Christian community. Jesus wasn’t known for his disdain for people; he was known for his unconditional love for everyone, especially outcasts and sinners. One of the charges Jesus’ opponents had against him was that he was “a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.”2 Surely the faith he founded should never be known for looking down on anyone.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“In a Gays-vs.-Christians world, admitting you’re gay makes you the enemy of Christians. After hearing some of these people’s horror stories, I’m amazed that any of them have any faith left at all.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Even with a more traditional reading that condemns gay sex, the Bible never condemns gay people for who they are and what they feel. We may disagree on whether the Bible can be reconciled with same-sex marriage, but we should be able to agree that the Bible is not homophobic and does not justify the unkind attitudes some Christians have become known for.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“I tried not to laugh. I thought about how my Southern Baptist friends would respond to the suggestion that their entire denomination was making people gay.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate

“It was hard for me to square my experience of Christians before coming out with my experience of Christians after coming out.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“By the end of lunch, I knew exactly where he stood. He still didn’t know the first thing about me.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Job’s friends make the mistake of putting their own theology ahead of the testimony of their friend.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Don’t be gay!” But how? What if those programs don’t work? What if God doesn’t change me? What if I’m like this for a really long time, or forever? How do I live my life today, as a gay Christian who wants to follow Jesus? “Don’t be gay!”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“We must be willing, too, to seek common ground and shared interests. Perhaps you and the other person have very different views on some things but both share a concern for the emotional health of gay people who feel hurt by the church. If so, that’s a starting point. You can find ways to build on that without having to compromise on your most deeply held values. This kind of gracious dialogue is hard for a lot of people. It feels wishy-washy to them, as if it requires that they stop thinking the other side is wrong. However, it’s not as if there are only two ways of relating to a person—either agree on everything, or preach at them about the things you disagree on. We already know this. Every day, we all interact with many people in our lives, and we probably disagree with the vast majority of them on a lot of things: politics, religion, sex, relationships, morality, you name it. Very few of my friends share my theological beliefs, and yet I don’t feel compelled to bring those differences up time and time again, making them feel self-conscious about them. If I did, I’d probably lose those people as friends. Most of the time, I’m not even thinking about our differences; I’m just thinking about who they are as people and the many reasons I like them. Grace sees people for what makes them uniquely beautiful to God, not for all the ways they’re flawed or all the ways I disagree with them. That kind of grace is what enables loving bridges to be built over the strongest disagreements. Gracious dialogue is hard work. It requires effort and patience, and it’s tempting to put it off. All of us have busy lives and a lot of other issues to address. But for anyone who cares about the future of the church, this can’t be put off. The next generation is watching how we handle these questions, and they’re using that to determine how they should treat people and whether this Christianity business is something they want to be involved in. Moms like Cindy are waiting to know that their churches are willing to stand with them in working through a difficult issue. And gay Christians everywhere, in every church and denomination, are trying to find their place in the world. Will we rise to the challenge? Will we represent Jesus well? Or will we be more like modern-day Pharisees?”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Grace sees people for what makes them uniquely beautiful to God, not for all the ways they’re flawed or all the ways I disagree with them. That kind of grace is what enables loving bridges to be built over the strongest disagreements.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“And while so many of us in the church have been focused on the “threat” to our culture posed by homosexuality, we’ve missed the realization that the church in our culture is under attack—not by gays, but by Christians. We Christians are the sleeper agents. The bomb is in our car. We have become the unwitting assassins of people’s faith. The Christians are killing Christianity.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Outsiders say our hostility toward gays—not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals—has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith.1”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“A 2007 study by the Barna Group, a Christian research firm, asked 16- to 29-year-olds to choose words and phrases to describe present-day Christianity. Among the many choices available to them were positive terms like “offers hope” and “has good values” along with negative terms like “judgmental” and “hypocritical.” Out of all of it—good and bad—the most popular choice was “antihomosexual.” Not only did 91 percent of the non-Christians describe the church this way, but 80 percent of churchgoers did as well.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“A 2007 study by the Barna Group, a Christian research firm, asked 16- to 29-year-olds to choose words and phrases to describe present-day Christianity. Among the many choices available to them were positive terms like “offers hope” and “has good values” along with negative terms like “judgmental” and “hypocritical.” Out of all of it—good and bad—the most popular choice was “antihomosexual.” Not only did 91 percent”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“I was tired of feeling like a victim, waiting for other people to figure things out,”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“Jesus wasn’t known for his disdain for people; he was known for his unconditional love for everyone, especially outcasts and sinners.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

“the Pharisees lacked—and what we Christians have all too often lacked—is grace. We must never let our theological disagreements get in the way of showing God’s unconditional, overpowering grace to everyone we meet.”
― Justin Lee, Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate