Bad Chili Quotes

“Let me tell you, if you have never seen an agitated squirrel you have seen very little, nor have you heard much, because the sound of an angry squirrel is not to be forgotten.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“You need to read some Agatha Christie, man.

Why? Am I being punished?”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“Faccio solo finta di essere sfacciata. In realtà me la faccio addosso dalla paura. Questa cena fuori mi rende confusa. Non so se voglio davvero una storia lunga, o solo una scopata veloce. E tu?”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“We broke and ran. The squirrel, however, was not a quitter. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that it was in fact gaining on us, and Leonard’s cussing was having absolutely no effect, other than to perhaps further enrage the animal, who might have had Baptist leanings. We”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“I love him,” Ella said. “I loved that shit-ass husband of mine, too,” Brett said. “But one day I didn’t and I had to set his head on fire.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“It’s a special state of mind. You know, like when you switch channels on TV, and surprise, it’s your favorite movie just starting.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“That first noggin shot I hit him so hard I bet his fuckin’ dog back home shit a turd in the shape of a praying Jesus.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili

“Christians think you got to do good ’cause you want to go to heaven, but if you do good ’cause you want to do good and don’t believe in that shit, then they figure it’s the slow oven for you anyway. They like a god that’s a bully, makes you want to do good ’cause he’s gonna rough you up.”
― Joe R. Lansdale, Bad Chili