The Queen of Kentucky Quotes

“Obsessing over a boy makes the time fly.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“(My momma + curvy roads= wear your seat belt.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“And although I wish his heart were pure gold, I guess I've always known that it's more of the brass variety.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“And Seriously,I'm still small enough to totally destroy everyone at hide and seek. Lame? Or kind of awesome? You decide.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I'm second string to a true, actual, just-moved-here new girl. Mackenzie's from Minnesota, says her O's in a really weird way, and already has more friends than I do.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Lying there, looking up at the stars, I took a few major cuss words out for a test drive before I started to cry.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“High school is depressing enough."
I tend to agree.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I stay quiet; I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.I'm still mad.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“For one thing,I have school tomorrow. Two,my right leg is still in Sasquatch mode.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Well, I don't know," he starts, looking down and then up again, anywhere but at me. "Like, for example, your new clothes, it's like a whole new you. You dress more like those girls now."
"I just want to look nice!" I defend myself.
"No,not that that's a bad thing, Ricki Jo!" he says, glancing down at me and then back over his shoulder. "You look great. Really pretty, actually.Just, you didn't care before and you were still"-he stammers on-"y-you know...pretty.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Nothing sexy," interjects Momma, the ever-present buzz skill.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I pound my fist into my palm, furrowing my brow.My dad chokes on his dessert. I am emboldened.
"I want to wear the maroon and gold-the same maroon and gold you two wore when you fell in love all those years ago. Without that maroon and gold, you never would have fallen in love at prom, and I never would have been born. I am maroon and gold."
The drama builds.
"I have spirit! Yes I do! I've got spirit, how 'bout you?" At this, I wildly wave fierce spirit fingers and heartily attempt the splits.
Key word: attempt.
"Ow!" I cry, my crotch a foot from the floor, pain burning my groin.
At this, neither of my parents can hold it anymore and, along with their eye rolling and head shaking, there is gut-wrenching laughter. I fall over to one side-sweet relief.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Yeah, we've got a few stoplights, but I personally think they're just for show. Stop signs usually do the trick. Breckinridge, Kentucky. The epicenter of Nowheresville, USA.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Fuming, I reach for the stick at my feet; however, this is the precise moment that a small black garter snake slithers out in front of me. I do what any normal fourteen-year-old girl would do: scream my head off, dance in spastic horror, and throw my tobacco knife into the dirt-completely missing the snake. I look to Luke for help, but he's laughing hysterically, which really gets my already hot blood boiling. Wrists on sweaty forehead, breathing totally out of control, I walk around in a circle until the disgusting little reptile slithers away.
I am-offically-over it.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“That's stupid," Luke says sharply, totally out of character, and shoots Laura a look that makes her flush red. "First of all, she's not ugly-pretty, she's just normal pretty. What a dumb thing to say. And second, she's different from the average girl 'cause she doesn't even need makeup."
Silence. Luke looks down at his arm and twirls the leather strap around his wrist. I nudge him, and when he looks up at me, I mouth Thank you, not trusting my voice since an unexpected lump has found its way to my throat.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“And then-
The lights are on.My first reaction is the lack of one. I'm too stunned. One second later, though, I hit the deck, pulling at the blankets below me and shielding my eyes.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I see a human form coming toward me, arms outstretched. Assuming that form to be naked, I duck and back up so as not to get groped by one of my zombie friends,only to back my bare heinie into someone else.
"Ahh!" Mackenzie screams.
"Ahh!" I scream right back.
Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh. My eyes are adjusting, and I see that all five of us are jumping up and down and screaming. We would usually hug or fall into some kind of laughing pileup in this kind of situation,but in our current state, we insteadt sort of cover our chests with one forearm and slap at the air in front of us with the other. Then we all start shushing one another, terribly afraid of waking up anyone else in the house.
Kimi opens the door to the family room and we peek out. No sign of human life in the kitchen. I spooked myself in there only a few minutes ago, and now I'm about to run headlong into this very same nightmare naked. What is wrong with me?”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Cowboys in the old days wore guns on their belts' my dad whips his cell phone out of a leather case clipped to his belt, like his very own six-shooter.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“He's still blabbing about how much he hates Mark Watts and now sucky he is at basketball (Who cares?),which I interpret as Blah,blah,kill me now, blah, blah, my life is over, blah, blah, blah.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I play it cool.
"Uh,yeah, I think so," I say, furioously kicking my feet in the air. "You?"
"Yeah,it should be pretty fun," he says.
"Yeah,it should be," I say.
Pause,pause,pause,heartbeat racing. I can't catch my breath.
"You know who you're going with?" he asks.
I'm sorry,but OH.MY.GOD.
"Nah," I say, pulling off nonchalance like a pro. "You know me; it's hard to choose when half the school is beating down my door."
He chuckles. "I don't doubt it."
Beat down my door, Wolf. Beat it down right now.I'll say yes!”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Oh,you talking to me now?" I ask.
"What?" he aks innocently, his cocoa eyes ide. "You noticed my silencio treatment in Spanish class?" He takes his shot,sinking it.
"Yeah,I noticed when I had to do Actividad twenty-to by myself,as both waiter and customer," I say, catching the ball and passing it back to him.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“That's cool," he says.
"Yeah," I say, and we go into another marathon pause.
"So..." he finally says. "Think you can start talking to me again?"
"Oh,so you noticed the silencio treatment?" I tease. My horoscope in Seventeen this month encourages me to "take a romantic risk," so I'm going for it.
"Yeah,I noticed when I had to do Actividad thirty-three as both fruit vendor and customer," he says, and I can hear him grinning through the phone.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Squished between my grandparents and moving at thirty miles an hour is a small price to pay to get to the vet's office, but today Luke begged to come along, so Papaw is driving even slower than usual. With Luke hunched don behind us in the bed of the truck, obviously without a seat belt, Mamaw keeps her eye on the odometer and yells about "precious cargo" every time the needle nears twenty.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Okay,like I could write about being new to this school and feeling really self-conscious already, you know, 'cause I'm new and haven't really gotten my growth spurt yet...in any capacity."
This gets a few chuckles and I plow forward.
"Then,at this meeting, maybe some cool, hot jock is sitting next to me and asks me to stand up, only to have the entire classroom staring at me as I say, 'But I am standing up!' Except,you know, funnier."
A few kids giggle and the big guy next to me grunts, "Pretty funny."
I smile over at my new comrade and smack his massive shoulder like we're old friends.I'm going to have to get his name.
"I mean, obviously it'd be better than that. But I just think it'd be good comif relief," I add, doing what my dad calls laying it on thick. "And we could put it near the pet obits to balance out all the high-school-is-depressing-enough vibes!"
Now the laughs are easy and everyone's smiling, and I feel myself loosen up a bit. Just like Mom and Dad with cheerleading, these folks are cracking under my spell, and I start really amping up the drama.
"And I know I couldn't use 'Traumarama' as a title since Seventeen already does, but I'm thinking 'Trauma and Drama-Terrible Tales of Teenagedom,' or something like that, with some real-life gossip mixed in.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I take a deep breath and put on my best smile. You could sell ice to Eskimos, my dad always says, and looking at this crowd, I think I'm going to have to be quite the salesman.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Like,I didn't realize that the sportswriter is actually Mayor Green's son.That makes him the biggest celebrity I've ever met,which I do recognize as totally pathetic.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I turn to go, not wanting to be late, and almost run into a tray full of mystery meat.
"Where you going?" Wolf asks, his confident grin slipping. "I was about to join y'all."
"Take my place,then," I say coldly. "Poor substitute, but whatever.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“I guess he sees the mortified look on my face-Can I get a little bedside manner here?-because he awkwardly pats the sides of my arms and tried to smile.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Not "I'm sorry,Ericka," or "I suck," or "I lost all the feeling in my fingers and couldn't dial a telephone." Nothing!
I can't believe what I'm hearing.In fact, I can't believe what I'm not hearing.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky

“Wolf apparently holds me to some kind of moral standard that he himself doesn't even observe but thinks I should.”
― Alecia Whitaker, The Queen of Kentucky