Necessary Losses Quotes

“Levamos para o casamento uma infinidade de expectativas ro- mânticas. As vezes, também visões de míticos êxtases sexuais. E impomos à nossa vida sexual muitas outras expectativas, muitos outros "devia ser", que o ato quotidiano do amor não consegue realizar. A terra devia tremer. Nossos ossos deviam cantar. Fogos de artifício deviam explodir. O ser consciente — o eu — devia ser queimado na pira do amor. Devíamos alcançar o paraíso, ou um fac-símile razoável. Nós nos desapontamos.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“We each are artists of the self, creating a collage -- a new and original work of art -- out of scraps and fragments of identifications. The people with whom we identify are, positively or negatively, always important to us. Our feelings toward them are, in some way, always intense.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“It is the image in the mind that binds us to our lost treasures, but it is the loss that shapes the image. —Colette”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“There is no ache more Deadly than the striving to be oneself. —Yevgeniy Vinokurov”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“There comes a time when we aren't allowed not to know.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“Infantile love follows the principle ‘I love because I am loved.’ “Mature love follows the principle ‘I am loved because I love.’ “Immature love says ‘I love you because I need you.’ “Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“Chega um tempo em que não nos é permitido não saber.”
― Judith Viorst, Perdas Necessárias

“Mas reconhecer tudo isso e ainda assim encontrar a liberdade, fazer as escolhas, saber o que é e o que pode vir a ser, isso é o adulto responsável. Curvando-se à necessidade, deve escolher. Es- sa liberdade de escolha é a carga e a dádiva que todos recebem ao deixar a infância, a carga e a dádiva que todos levam quando atin- gem o fim da infância.”
― Judith Viorst, Perdas Necessárias

“Responsável significa, naturalmente, amarrar o próprio sapato. Mas significa também não ter permissão para culpar uma infância terrível — ou uma paixão, uma tentação, uma ignorância ou uma inocência — por atos que são nossos, por ações que realmente praticamos. Pois se, na realidade, as praticamos, somos responsáveis.”
― Judith Viorst, Perdas Necessárias

“Um modo de não sentir falta, está claro, consiste em ficar em casa, não sair, embora nem sempre precise admitir que não sai. Pois, embora alguns jovens se agarrem abertamente à família, há aqueles que, com uma grande demonstração de independência, descobrem um modo de jamais sair de casa.”
― Judith Viorst, Perdas Necessárias

“Indeed, analyst Robert Bak calls orgasm "the perfect promise between love and death," the means by which we repatriate separation of mother and child through the momentary extinction of the self. It is true that few of us consciously climb into a lover's bed in the hope of finding our mommy between the sheets. But the sexual loss of our separateness (which may scare people so badly they cannot have orgasm) brings us pleasure, in part, because it unconsciously repeats our first connection.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

“In fact, I would like to propose that central to understanding our lives is understanding how we deal with loss. I would like to propose in this book that the people we are and the lives that we lead are determined, for better and worse, by our loss experiences.”
― Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow