There Is No Dog Quotes

“Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“It might go down better than appearing as a giant reptile encased in a ball of fire and forcing yourself on her.'

'WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING THAT UP?”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Life's pleasures were so simple, really. It was all a matter of appreciating what you had - and knowing that things could always be worse.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Eck nodded, a bit uncertainly. He supposed that in the absence of a future, a friend might be nice.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“In the beginning, the earth was without form, and void and the darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And god said, 'Let there be light.' and there was light. Only, it wasn't good light. Bob created fireworks, sparklers and neon tubes that circled the globe like weird tangled rainbows. He dabbled with bugs that blinked and abstract creatures whose heads lit up and cast long overlapping shadows. There were mile-high candles and mountains of fairy lights. For an hour or so, earth was lit by enormous crystal chandeliers. Bob thought his creations were cool. They were cool, but they didn't work”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Would it really be better, he wanted to ask, if it were always this nice? Would anyone bother to notice? Or would they simply pass through a night like this, unmoved?

And (this was more to the point) if life were without flaws and no one ever changed or died, what role would God have?

A muffled sound of voices reached him. Above, the stars glittered so large and bright, he thought he might throw a net and pull them towards him like whiting. Boats slid past him in the inky dark but failed to enter his thoughts.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Oh, please, Mr. B thinks, not a human. Not another human. He is filled with despair. God's passion for humans always leads to catastrophe, to meteorological upset on an epic scale. What is wrong with the boy that he can't get it up for some nice goddess? Why, oh why, can't he pursue a sensible relationship, one that will not end in disaster?”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“To hide her relief, Laura stepped forward and embraced her daughter. 'My poor darling. He's not worth weeping over. If he doesn't appreciate a girl like you...' But, even to her own ears, the words sounded quaint. What man ever warranted the tears shed on his behalf?”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Mona wasn't listening. Of course a bet was a bet, she thought. And there was her reputation to consider. Not to mention her safety. Particularly her safety. For she was frightened of Emoto Hed, who had something of a reputation for creative cruelty where unpaid debts were concerned. People disappeared, leaving behind nothing but very long, very piercing screams. Mona imagined that forever could become incredibly tedious when passed in a state of constantly accelerating agony.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“The boy squirmed, long skinny legs wrapped round each other, rib-cage twisted ninety degrees from his hips in what appeared to be an impossible configuration of limbs. His elbows jutted out abruptly from his sides like some sort of drafting error and (independently aware of their awkwardness) his arms wound themselves round his torso like vines.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Bob's talent, such as it is, consists entirely of the few unconscious charms of youth: its energy, audacity and complete inability to recognize its own shortcomings.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“In the meantime, Bob was jumping up and down and pronouncing it was all "good good good," so good that he couldn't stop giggling with self-satisfied glee like a demented toddler.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“It might cause considerable surprise to the informed observer (who does not exist) to note that Mr B's eyes begin to fill with tears. They overflow and spill down along the deep soft creases of his careworn face as he sits very still in the centre of the unstill world and weeps rivers of salty water for all the lost souls, including his own.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Eck tilts his head and gently licks Bob's ear with his long, sticky tongue. It is his special way of expressing sympathy and it is not effective.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“He could see now that she looked tired; the delicate tissue under her eyes bruised violet with fatigue. He fought an almost irresistible desire to trace the half-circles with his finger.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“He would like to be held in the arms of this clear-eyed, clear-voiced girl, who seems to be the only creature among all of his acquaintances who cares for something beside self-glorification and the gratification of her own desires.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Bob exploded. 'There is no such thing as a casual conversation with my mother. Every single word will be twisted recognition until before you know it you're playing Russian roulette in a wind tunnel with a psychotic dwarf, having wagered your birthright for a piece of cheese...”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“He created man in his own image, and gave him dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, and the cattle and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Which anyone could see was one big fat recipe for disaster.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Each day, a new crisis, a new massacre, a new threat of extinction, disease, internecine conflict, meteorological catastrophe... Behold man. Violent, self-serving and ruthless when in power; exploited, miserable and diseased when not.”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog

“Why did you bother creating me, he wanted to ask. Why bother giving me a brain and a realization of how miserable existence can be? Why did you invent creatures who die, and worse, who know they are going to die? What is the point of so unkind an act of creation?”
― Meg Rosoff, There Is No Dog