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There Is No Dog

2.95  ·  Rating details ·  2,744 ratings  ·  589 reviews
Meet your unforgettable protagonist: God, who, as it turns out, is a 19-year-old boy living in the present-day and sharing an apartment with his long-suffering fifty-something personal assistant. Unfortunately for the planet, God is lazy and, frankly, hopeless. He created all of the world's species in six days because he couldn't summon the energy to work for longer. He ge ...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published August 2nd 2011 by Doubleday Canada (first published 2011)
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2.95  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,744 ratings  ·  589 reviews

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Emily May
Feb 17, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: young-adult, arc, 2012

I didn't get it.

This is the third book I've read by Meg Rosoff, fourth if you count my failed attempt to start Just in Case. What I've discovered to be most true about Rosoff's novels is that reading and liking one is far from a guarantee that you will enjoy the rest - or, in fact, any of the others - so I cannot offer words like: "if you enjoyed How I Live Now (etc.) this will be your kind of book". This novel is a million miles away from anything Meg Rosoff has previously written, and genera
Liz Janet
Mar 02, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Is this book offensive? Yes, but not for the reason one might think. I am not offended because of the religious aspect, I am offended because the writing, plot, characters, and everything else a book is meant to be comprised of, sucked.
At the beginning, before reading the book this was me:
Halfway through it turned into this:
And by the end:
Ashley Adriana maria
Jun 30, 2019 rated it did not like it
I wil not easily write a bad review for books because most of them still have some good things and if i didnt like it someone else will. So i would never trash talk about a book but this one was really going to far. Never have i hated a book as much as this one. He is irresponsible, stupid and can only think about sex. So much that he even 'rapes' 😠 a girl he likes by being a ghost?! 😤 with every page i read i became more angry! I managed to get halfway and then i just had to stop. This book is ...more
Courtney Johnston
Dec 06, 2011 rated it it was amazing
What kind of God would make a world like this? It's the question we ask when we start testing our theological chop in our teenage years: a world of wars and rape and environmental disaster, of pimples erupting just before the school dance and turning up to the ball and seeing your arch-enemy in the same dress as you (but a size smaller).

Meg Rosoff's answer? A negligent, floppy-haired teenage boy god - irritable, distractable, sex-mad and short-tempered, yet also rather luscious and prone to the
Aug 07, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Originally reviewed on The Book Smugglers HERE

As we all know, in the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. But the preferred candidate for God withdrew at the last minute because the Earth was so badly positioned, off the beaten track in a rundown part of the universe. Time was passing and since no one would apply to the job, the administrators decided to offer the position as part of a bet on a game of poker. The winner promptly turned it over to her temperamental and inexperienced t
Jennifer Rayment
Aug 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing
The Good Stuff
· Best premise for a book ever
· Unlike anything I have ever read before
· Made me a laugh my ass off on many occasions
· Wonderful existential questions, moral lessons and other things that really make you think (not being vague on purpose just don’t want to give to much away), blind faith
· Love the various characters especially Mr B, Eck, Estelle and Luke
· God’s name is Bob
· Thought provoking
· Love the Stephen King quote at the beginning of the book and the praise about the book fro
May 14, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, library
Bob is 19, a lazy, undisciplined kid, but he has enough sense to want to escape his reckless mother Mona, who most recently has gambled away his pet Eck in a poker game. On top of that, Bob's job is way over his head and his appointed helper Mr. B has come to resent picking up after him. Then Bob meets Lucy, a lovely young woman working at the zoo, and though Mona and Mr. B and everyone else can tell no good will come of it, Bob decides he's fallen in love with her.

Standard YA rom-com. Except Bo
In which God is a teenager and a total asshole, honestly. Whatever message this story may have had went completely over my head.
Feb 08, 2018 rated it did not like it
So although this book can be seen as religiously offensive, I put that aside and when into it with a completely unbiased mind- worse mistake ever.
The writing is simple, too simple, and I’m not sure if there was a message in this book, but ,whatever that may have been, it just wasn’t there.
The plot was almost lazy and I felt nothing but boredom throughout the book. I was angry at how weak the character development was and how baseless the whole book was.

The two stars are for the following reas
OK folks. There's some good news and some bad news. The good news is: God exists. The bad news? God is an arrogant, insolent, lustful, forgetful teenaged boy named Bob. Bob's mother won our corner of the universe in a poker game and pawned it off on her underage son. Bob had some fun creating our world, but grew bored rather quickly and let things get tremendously out of control. The only thing really holding it all together is Bob's personal assistant, Mr. B. Mr. B is sick of dealing with Bob a ...more
Sep 16, 2011 rated it it was ok
I remember picking this up and thinking it sounded really interesting so I put it on my to-read list and that's where it stayed for a while. I saw that there was a talking book edition available through the library so I decided to get it.

I hate to give this 2 stars because I've heard great things about this but unfortunately it wasn't for me. I found myself becoming bored with the characters. Bob didn't really irritate me or make me feel anything about him at all. Lucy was also boring, the chara
Tara Chevrestt
At first, I found this book hilarious and was spending more time laughing than reading. Let's pretend that God is really a teenage boy who's really horny and every time he falls in love with a chick, a mortal chick, the earth is destroyed by crazy weather. Every time he forgets to turn off the water in his bathtub, the earth is flooded. And this is a very lazy, self-centered, God named Bob who's mother won the planet earth in a galaxy poker game. The author gets a star for uniqueness alone. LOL

Feb 14, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: teen
God is a teenage boy. And a total d-bag.
Claire (Book Blog Bird)
This and other reviews are featured on my blog: Book Blog Bird

I picked There Is No Dog up as part of a recent library haul because it looked amusing and irreverent, which are two qualities I admire greatly in books. I’ve just finished it and I’m not really sure what to make of it. It’s either a work of such staggering philosophical and existential brilliance that it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend, or it’s a vaguely unsatisfying paranormal romance. I’m not sure which.

The premise is tha
E. Anderson
Oct 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Let me start by saying that I haven’t wanted to like, marry, a book this much in years.

Seriously, THERE IS NO DOG is actually that good. You will want to kiss it and hug it and sleep with it under your pillow and make it a little blanket fort.

Look, there are a lot of reasons you will love this book. But I’m going to give you the basics because there are so many delightful surprises and, you know, Meg Rosoff is too genius for words that I can actually make. So. Here is what you need to know:

1. TH
Sep 27, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: own
who is god?

is god a man? or a woman? or a fish? or a goat? is god old or young? fat or thin? [..] is god invisible? out to lunch? listening carefully? or just a very silly idea?

does god live in heaven? on a cloud? somewhere in outer space? in our heads? in the bible? or no place at all?

maybe god is a toad. or a crow. or a dream. or a tree. or an idea someone thought up ten thousand years ago. or all those things. or none of them. why not? no one can really tell us who or what god is, or ev
(Benji) The Non Reluctant Reader
No more arguing about what god would be like... and if there even is a dog... Meg Rossoff settles all the hubbub once and for all!
This book is something that will defiantly get banned, and I can see why some people would be againstt a book like this. You make a parody of Twilight? Sure! Harry Potter? Why not? But god? I'm not so sure making fun of god is a good thing, and I think a lot of people would get rather angry about this book. Though if they actually read it, they'd find out it isn't t
Nov 15, 2012 rated it did not like it
Shelves: young-adult
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jan 31, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: teenbooks, fantasy
Hmmm. This eagerly anticipated (by me!) book left me scratching my head a bit. It is a fantastic flight of imagination, to be sure. God aka Bob, is a hormonal adolescent boy who loves to create but isn't so great at following up on the problems left in the wake of creation. That job falls to his assistant/secretary, Mr. B. Mr B. tries, but fails, to get Bob interested in the problems of Earth. Bob, however, is quite interested in a lovely young lady that he has just discovered, and like the sex- ...more
Jun 11, 2012 rated it really liked it
I love books that have existential questions in them, and this one does not disappoint. Arising naturally from the narrative are such topics as the purpose of God, the level of his involvement with mankind, and what people expect from Him. It includes characters of all levels of belief, and Gods of all levels of goodness and maturity. I think it is fascinating to see how the idea of God has evolved since ancient civilization and compare that to the immortal characters in this book. I also think ...more
Jul 06, 2012 rated it liked it
Bob's mother won Earth in a poker game, and gave it to Bob to get him out of her hair. He's a terrible God, lazy and selfish and foolish, but he does have flashes of brilliance. Luckily for Earth, he also has an assistant, Mr. B, who is as responsible, far-seeing and wise (if a bit stodgy) as Bob is not. Between the two of them, Earth mostly manages to putter along.

But then Bob falls in love with a human girl (again--you'd think he'd remember what happened the last few times he tried this) and E
Dec 26, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Eck! God save the Eck!

What a refreshing and hilarious take on the story behind creation and how all things came into being. Rosoff tells of our planet earth being overseen by a hormone-hopping teenage boy named Bob and his ever weary assistant Mr. B. Together they experiment and create all that is beautiful and all that is aghast on earth. When sulky Bob gets into another one of his bouts of lusty, amorous moods and falls for a human girl, all hell, literally, breaks loose on a biblical scale wi
May 27, 2014 added it
Shelves: dnf
This just didn't cut it for me.
I found it to be a poor attempt at comedic blasphemy without any underlying message that had be deduced or inferred. It was a 'surface-story' with nothing more to it. After getting past a few chapters, I started to become frustrated for not seeing the hidden message. "It must be somewhere right?", I thought to myself. But after getting at least 1/4 of the way through, nothing was clicking in place. I didn't get it.
Feb 20, 2012 rated it really liked it
This is definitely NOT a typical Meg Rosoff book. I've read a few, and this one is completely different from any of her other novels. That being said, this was not a bad book. Just don't go into it expecting something as beautiful as How I Live Now or The Bride's Farewell. Rosoff is making some kind of statement here, I think, although didn't figure out what that was, but it was highly entertaining. And, I want an eck!
Feb 15, 2015 rated it did not like it
skimmed through the ending could not read do not know how end
Jun 18, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: religion, 14-16, satire
Clever, but not necessarily enjoyably clever.

I also felt it was a little condescending to teenage boys, although it seems some teenage boys have read it and not felt that way.
Mar 15, 2016 rated it liked it
In the beginning there was Bob. And Bob created the heavens and the earth, and the beasts of the field, and the creatures of the sea, and twenty-five million other species, including lots of gorgeous girls. And, all of this, he created in just six days. Six days! Congratulations, Bob. No wonder Earth is such a mess. Imagine that God is a typical teenage boy. He is lazy, careless, self-obsessed, sex-mad - and about to meet Lucy, the most beautiful girl on Earth. Unfortunately, whenever Bob falls ...more
May 23, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This concept was amazing and I had such high hopes going into it. I was hoping for a light, funny read that had a bigger message behind it but my expectations were not met. Honestly, I don't really know what I just read.
Jul 31, 2017 added it
Shelves: no-just-no
Given her views on diversity in literature and my inability to separate art from artist, Rosoff is a hard no from me.
Jan 26, 2012 rated it liked it
This is an odd book and I’m glad I’ve finished it. Not because it was odd, I’m very okay with odd, but it got to be rather tedious about half-way through because it was the same thing over and over again—Bob aka God is in lust with a young human and until he conquers her, weather on earth is basically going to suck. The adults around Bob God (Bob is a surly, spoiled, shithead teenager) are concerned about Bob’s crappy management of earth and his fad for human females. Why can’t he just fall in l ...more
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There is no dog-O...: Bob +Lucy+Bed+condom=sex 4 17 Jun 10, 2012 07:08AM  
Mock Printz 2020: There is No Dog by Meg Rosoff 7 63 May 08, 2012 04:13PM  

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Meg Rosoff was born in Boston and had three or four careers in publishing and advertising before she moved to London in 1989, where she lives now with her husband and daughter. Formerly a Young Adult author, Meg has earned numerous prizes including the highest American and British honors for YA fiction: the Michael L. Printz Award and the Carnegie Medal.
“Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.” 26 likes
“It might go down better than appearing as a giant reptile encased in a ball of fire and forcing yourself on her.'

More quotes…