Getting to Yes Quotes

“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

“The more extreme the opening positions and the smaller the concessions, the more time and effort it will take to discover whether or not agreement is possible.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“An open mind is not an empty one.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“The challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it. It is to change the way we deal with our differences”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“the ongoing relationship is far more important than the outcome of any particular negotiation.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Whether a negotiation concerns a contract, a family quarrel, or a peace settlement among nations, people routinely engage in positional bargaining. Each side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach a compromise.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people. If you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance both of reaching agreement and, if an agreement is reached, of the other side’s keeping to it. Basic human needs include: security economic well-being a sense of belonging recognition control over one’s life As fundamental as they are, basic human needs are easy to overlook. In many negotiations, we tend to think that the only interest involved is money. Yet even in a negotiation over a monetary figure, such as the amount of alimony to be specified in a separation agreement, much more can be involved.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Judgment hinders imagination.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“the more attention that is paid to positions, the less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying concerns of the parties.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“the best time for handling people problems is before they become people problems.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Understanding is not agreeing.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“THE METHOD 2. Separate the People from the Problem 3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions 4. Invent Options for Mutual Gain 5. Insist on Using Objective Criteria”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“conflict lies not in objective reality, but in people’s heads. Truth is simply one more argument—perhaps a good one, perhaps not—for dealing with the difference. The difference itself exists because it exists in their thinking. Fears, even if ill-founded, are real fears and need to be dealt with. Hopes, even if unrealistic, may cause a war. Facts, even if established, may do nothing to solve the problem.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“The soft negotiating game emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining a relationship.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“Pressure can take many forms: a bribe, a threat, a manipulative appeal to trust, or a simple refusal to budge. In all these cases, the principled response is the same: invite them to state their reasoning, suggest objective criteria you think apply, and refuse to budge except on this basis. Never yield to pressure, only to principle.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

“Where the parties speak different languages the chance for misinterpretation is compounded. For example, in Persian, the word “compromise” apparently lacks the positive meaning it has in English of “a midway solution both sides can live with,” but has only a negative meaning as in “our integrity was compromised.” Similarly, the word “mediator” in Persian suggests “meddler,” someone who is barging in uninvited. In early 1980 U.N. Secretary General Kurt Waldheim flew to Iran to seek the release of American diplomats being held hostage by Iranian students soon after the Islamic revolution. His efforts were seriously set back when Iranian national radio and television broadcast in Persian a remark he reportedly made on his arrival in Tehran: “I have come as a mediator to work out a compromise.” Within an hour of the broadcast, his car was being stoned by angry Iranians.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“The second negotiation concerns how you will negotiate the substantive question: by soft positional bargaining, by hard positional bargaining, or by some other method. This second negotiation is a game about a game—a “meta-game.” Each move you make within a negotiation is not only a move that deals with rent, salary, or other substantive questions; it also helps structure the rules of the game you are playing. Your move may serve to keep the negotiations within an ongoing mode, or it may constitute a game-changing move.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“The game of negotiation takes place at two levels. At one level, negotiation addresses the substance; at another, it focuses—usually implicitly—on the procedure for dealing with the substance.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Your reputation for honesty and fair-dealing may be your single most important asset as a negotiator.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“Sometimes people do hold views that many of us think are objectively “irrational,” such as people who fear flying. Internally, however, these people are reacting rationally to the world as they see it. At some level, they believe that this plane will crash. If we believed that, we would not fly either. It is the perception that is skewed, not the response to that perception. Neither telling such people that they are wrong (with however many scientific studies) nor punishing them for their beliefs is likely to change how they feel. On the other hand, if you inquire empathetically, taking their feelings seriously and trying to trace their reasoning to its roots, it is sometimes possible to effect change. Working with them, you may discover a logical leap, a factual misperception, or a traumatic association from an earlier time that, once brought to light, can be examined and modified by the people themselves. In essence, you are looking for the psychological interests behind their position, to help them find a way to meet more of their interests more effectively.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“A basic fact about negotiation, easy to forget in corporate and international transactions, is that you are dealing not with abstract representatives of the “other side,” but with human beings. They have emotions, deeply held values, and different backgrounds and viewpoints; and they are unpredictable. They are prone to cognitive biases, partisan perceptions, blind spots, and leaps of illogic. So are we.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“Listen before you launch into a rebuttal.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“A well-established reputation for fair dealing can be an extraordinary asset.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“Negotiation is a process of communicating back and forth for the purpose of reaching a joint decision”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

“If dovetailing had to be summed up in one sentence, it would be: Look for items that are of low cost to you and high benefit to them, and vice versa. Differences in interests, priorities, beliefs, forecasts, and attitudes toward risk all make dovetailing possible. A negotiator’s motto could be “Vive la différence!”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Agreement is often based on disagreement. It is as absurd to think, for example, that you should always begin by reaching agreement on the facts as it is for a buyer of stock to try to convince the seller that the stock is likely to go up. If they did agree that the stock would go up, the seller would probably not sell. What makes a deal likely is that the buyer believes the price will go up and the seller believes it will go down.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

“Uma boa relação de trabalho tende a facilitar a obtenção de bons resultados substantivos para ambos os lados. E bons resultados tendem a tornar ainda melhores bons relacionamentos.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In