Heartless Quotes

“[She] lost her patience, a thing she was all too prone to misplacing.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“I am entirely capable."
"Of what, waddling up to someone and ruthlessly bumping into them?”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Oh, Professor Lyall, are you making a funny? It doesn’t suit you.”
The sandy-haired Beta gave Lady Maccon a dour look. “I am exploring new personality avenues.”
“Well, stop it.”
“Yes, my lady.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lady Maccon.”
“By George, Boots! How the deuce can you possibly tell that there is Lady Maccon?” queried the other top-hated gentleman.
“Who else would be standing in the middle of a street on full-moon night with a raging ruddy fire behind her, waving a parasol about?”
“Good point, good point.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Spin the parasol three times and repeat after me: I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Oh, dear me, no. Then I should be known as that vampire with all the cats.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Alexia had found pregnancy relatively manageable, up to a point. That point having been some three weeks ago, at which juncture her natural reserves of control gave way to sentimentality. Only yesterday she had ended breakfast sobbing over the fried eggs because they looked at her funny. The pack had spent a good half hour trying to find a way to pacify her. Her husband was so worried he looked to start crying himself.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“The Gamma paused. “You have a crazed werewolf in your wine cellar?”
“You can think of a better place to stash him?”
“What about the wine?”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lord Akeldama sighed. 'You lovebirds, how will I endure such flirtations constantly in my company? How déclassé, Lord Maccon, to love your own wife.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“I miss him, my lady.”
“Well, he is now living adjacent. You can hardly miss him all that much.”
“True. But we are no longer compatible—I am a werewolf; he is a vampire.”
“So?”
“So we cannot dance the same dance we used to.”
Biffy was so sweet when he tried to be circumspect. Alexia shook her head at him.
“Biffy, and I mean this in the kindest way possible: then you should change the music.”
“Very good, my lady.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lord Macon deposited his wife into a chair and then knelt next to her, clutching one of her hands. "Tell me truthfully - how are you feeling?"

Alexia took a breath. "Truthfully? I sometimes wonder if I, like Madame Lefoux, should affect masculine dress."

"Gracious me, why?"

"You mean aside from the issue of greater mobility?"

"My love, I don't think that's currently the result of your clothing."

"Indeed, I mean after the baby."

"I still don't see why should want to."

"Oh no? I dare you to spend a week in a corset, long skirts and a bustle."

"How do you know I haven't?”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lord Maccon, might we have words on the proper tying of a cravat? For my sanity’s sake?
Lord Maccon was nonplussed. Professor Lyall, on the other hand, was pained. “I do what I can.” Lord Akeldama looked at him, pity in his eyes. “You are a brave man.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Which was why, some six hours later, Alexia Maccon's daughter was born inside the head of an octomaton in the presence of her husband, a comatose werewolf dandy, and a French inventor.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“The infant-inconvenience kicked in response, and Conall twitched at the sensation.
“Active little pup, isn’t he?”
“She,” corrected his wife. “As if any child of mine would dare be a boy.”
It was a long-standing argument.
“Boy,” replied Conall. “Any child as difficult as this one has been from the start must, perforce, be male.”
Alexia snorted.
“As if my daughter would be calm and biddable.”
Conall grinned, catching one of her hands and bringing it in for a kiss, all prickly whiskers and soft lips.
“Very good point, wife. Very good point.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Later on Lady Maccon was to describe that particular day as the worst of her life. She had neither the soul nor the romanticism to consider childbirth magical or emotionally transporting. So far as she could gather it mostly involved pain indignity and mess. There was nothing engaging or appealing about the process. And as she told her husband firmly she intended never to go through it again.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“At such close range, even she could hit a vampire full force in the shoulder, surprising him considerably. He paused in his attack. “Well, my word! You can’t threaten me, you’re pregnant!”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Madame Lefoux acted as midwife. In her scientific way, she was unexpectedly adept at the job. When the infant finally appeared, she held it up for Alexia to see, rather proudly, as though she'd done all the hard work herself. 'Goodness,' said an exhausted Lady Maccon, 'are babies customarily that repulsive looking?”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Goodness,” said an exhausted Lady Maccon, “are babies customarily that repulsive looking?”
Madame Lefoux pursed her lips and turned the infant about, as though she hadn’t quite looked closely before.
“I assure you, the appearance improves with time.”
Alexia held out her arms—her dress was already ruined anyway—and received the pink wriggling thing into her embrace. She smiled up at her husband.
“I told you it would be a girl.”
“Why isna she crying?” complained Lord Maccon. “Shouldna she be crying? Aren’t all bairns supposed to cry?”
“Perhaps she’s mute,” suggested Alexia. “Be a sensible thing with parents like us.”
Lord Maccon looked properly horrified at the idea.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“As to your sister, she is quite a peach, is she not? You have been hiding her from me.”
Lady Maccon would not be goaded. “Really, Channing, she is practically”—she paused to do some calculations—“one-twentieth your age. Or worse. Don’t you want some maturity in your life?”
“Good God, no!”
“Well, how about some human decency?”
“Now you’re just being insulting.” Alexia huffed in amusement.
Channing raised blond eyebrows at her, handsome devil that he was. “Ah, but this is what I enjoy so much about immortality. The decades may pass for me, but the ladies, well, they will keep coming along all young and beautiful, now, won’t they?”
“Channing, someone should lock you away.”
“Now, Lady Maccon, that transpires tomorrow night, remember?”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lord Maccon believed that if his trousers were on his legs, and something else was on his torso, he was dressed. The less done after that, the better. His wife had been startled to find that in the summertime, he actually went around their room barefoot! Once -- and only once, mind you -- he even attempted to join her for tea in such a state. Impossible man. Alexia put a stop to that posthaste.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“She was pleased her husband still thought her attractive, despite her beached-whale state, but was finding it increasingly awkward to accommodate him. The spirit was willing but the flesh was swollen. Still, she enjoyed the compliment and understood that there was no real demand behind the caresses. The earl knew her well enough to realize she valued his desire almost as much as his love. After a lifetime of feeling ugly and unworthy, Alexia was now tolerably assured that Conall genuinely did want her, even if they could do nothing about it at present. She also understood that he was expressing his conjugal interest partly out of knowledge of her own need for such assurances. A werewolf and a buffoon, her husband, but wonderfully caring once he'd blundered into the way of it.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Past persons of Scottishness in contact with mastermind of supernatural persuasion in London, aka Agent Doom.’
Floote moved on to the third bit of paper.
“ ‘Lady K says Agent Doom assisted depraved Plan of Action. May have all been his idea.’
Moving on to the last one, he read out, "Summer permits Scots to expose more knee than lady of refinement should have to withstand. Hairmuffs much admired. Yours etc., Puff Bonnet.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“...you have been fraternizing with warewolves overmuch! Military men can be terribly bad for one's verbal concatenation!”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Felicity grimaced in agreement. “No, you are perfectly correct. I did not realize how vital the approbation of one’s butler is in allowing for nocturnal autonomy.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“As with most things in life, Lady Maccon preferred the civilized exterior to the dark underbelly (with the exception of pork products, of course.)”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Well, if you insist. But, my dearest flower, how ghastly to consider that such a mustache must shadow the clean-shaven grandeur of my domicile.' Lord Akeldama was rumored to insist that all his drones go without the dreaded lip skirt. The vampire had once had the vapors upon encountering an unexpected mustache around a corner of his hallway. Muttonchops were permitted in moderation, and only because they were currently all the rage among the most fashionable of London's gentlemen-about-town. Even so, they must be as well tended as the topiary of Hampton Court.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Lady Maccon cogitated. She would like to encourage this new spirit of social-mindedness. If Felicity needed anything in her life, it was a cause. Then she might stop nitpicking everyone else.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“You know vampires and solicitors—practically indistinguishable.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“She wondered if the immortal's avoidance of life's ugliness was a matter of survival or bigotry. Lord Akeldama did so love to know all the gossip about the mundane world, but it was in the manner of a cat amusing himself among the butterflies without a need to interfere should their wings get torn off. They were only butterflies, after all.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless

“Ivy did as she was told, face serious and concentrated. “I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.”
― Gail Carriger, Heartless