The Undead Next Door Quotes

“You know how to shoot?"- Emma

"Yes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert." - Heather

"What happened to him?" -Shanna

"He was...shot." -Heather”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“My point, exactly. Those poor women are so malnourished, they can’t think straight. Take my friend Sasha. Her idea of a three-course meal is a celery stick, a cherry tomato, and a laxative. She’s killing herself to fit into these clothes. Women like me can’t dress like that.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“Well, make up your mind. I don’t have all night.” Fidelia set her beer on the porch and removed a set of keys from her skirt pocket. She fumbled with the key, trying to release the trigger lock on her pistol.
“Don’t do that,” Heather warned her. “You’ve had too much to drink.”
Fidelia snorted. “I’m not drunk. I’m in complete control.” She tore off the trigger lock.
Bang! The gun fired, ripping into a nearby oak tree.
The women screamed. Jean-Luc winced.
A squirrel plummeted from the tree and landed in the yard with a thud.
Fidelia shrugged. “I meant to do that. Damned rodent’s been gnawing on the house. And stealing all the nuts from our pecan tree.”
Heather planted her hands on her hips. “Haven’t I told you a million times to keep the locks on?”
Fidelia hung her head, looking properly remorseful. “I’ll be more careful.” She switched on the safety, then shot Jean-Luc a pointed look. “I know how to deal with a scumbag with nuts.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“Jean-Luc glanced at the coach. "Who is that man? What is that machine?"
"It's a dunking booth."
"Ah, I understand." Jean-Luc nodded. "If he dose not drown, then he is a witch"
"No, he's just a creep. It's a game.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“Ignore him," Heather begged. "I do. Constantly." Jean-Luc studied the coach, then turned to Heather with a wary look. "Every man in this town wants you." She laughed. "Yea, right. The old guys from the nursing home go into cardiac arrest whenever I walk by." His gaze drifted over her. "I can believe that.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“This being-nice crap was for the
birds.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“Before he had time to figure it out, his walkie-talkie crackled and a voice came on. He punched a button. "Sheriff here. What's up?"
"Someone called about a public disturbance behind schmitty's bar," a woman's voice reported. "Cathy use the proper code number," Billy growled. "There ain't no number for a guy acting like a cockroach!" the woman yelled. "he climbed into their Dumpster and he's wallowing in the trash.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“What's he doing?" Bethany asked. "He's bowing.'Good day milday." Bethany giggled. "Crocodiles don't bow."
"They should when they meet a princess.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“He assaulted the man with a psychic wave. "You are a cockroach." In his inebraited state, Cody had no resistance at all to a vampire mind control. He fell to the floor and scurried around the foyer on all fours. "I am a cockroach" he muttered in a squeaky voice. "Hmm, about time you figured that one out," Fidelia steped back as he brushed against her long skirt.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“I can’t date a man who has survived for centuries by biting women and sucking their blood.” — Heather
“I bet he gives one hell of a hickey.” — Fidelia”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“I’m already saved. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. Now unlock that door and set me free, brother.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“I’ve got more faith in my shotgun than any man, that’s for sure.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“—Necesito sentir que tengo el control.
—Ah, ahora me has dado un desafío. — Él dio un paso más cerca. — Para hacerte perder el control.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“My friend Roman always says that with love, anything is possible.”
“Sí, like double homicide.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door

“A breeze wafted over her face, and she realized she was in the parking lot next to Jean-Luc’s BMW. She must have”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, The Undead Next Door