The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents Quotes

“If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“The second mouse gets the cheese!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“People were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.'
Well, that’s harmless, isn’t it?'
Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it’s just a word.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Can I ask a question, sir?" said Maurice, as Death turned to go.
You May Not Get An Answer.
"I suppose there isn't a Big Cat in the Sky, is there?"
I'm Surprised At You, Maurice. Of Course There Are No Cat Gods. That Would Be Too Much Like...Work.
Maurice nodded. One good thing about being a cat, apart from the extra lives, was that the theology was a lot simpler.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“To be a leader you have to learn to shout! But after you've learned to shout, you have to learn not to!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story."
"And what if your story doesn't work?"
"You keep changing it until you find one that does.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“He famously defended fairy stories against those who said they told children that there were monsters; children already know that there are monsters, he said, and fairy stories teach them that monsters can be killed. We now know that the monsters may not simply have scales and sleep under a mountain. They may be in our own heads.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“A good motto in life, he'd reckoned, was: don't eat anything that glows.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Scuse me, ’scuse me,” said a voice from beside him. He looked down this time at a dirty, half-scorched cat, who grinned at him. “Did that cat just speak?” asked the mayor. Maurice looked around. “Which one?” he said. “You! Did you just talk?” “Would you feel better if I said no?” said Maurice.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred’s field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“I am not so blind that I can't see darkness.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“...there was a general murmuring, no real words, nothing that would get anyone into trouble if the piper turned nasty, but a muttering indicating, in a general sense, without wishing to cause umbrage, and seeing everyone's point of view, and taking one thing with another, and all things being equal, that people would like to see the boy given a chance, if it's all right with you, no offence meant.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“They hadn't read as many stories as Malicia, and were rather more attached to the experience of real life, which is that when someone small and righteous takes on someone big and nasty, he is grilled bread product, very quickly.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“But cats are good at steering people. A miaow here, a purr there, a little gentle pressure with a claw … and Maurice had never had to think about it before. Cats didn’t have to think. They just had to know what they wanted. Humans had to do the thinking. That’s what they were for.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents

“This is inhuman!” shrieked Rat-catcher 2.
“No, it’s very human,” said Keith. “It’s extremely human. There isn’t a beast in the world that’d do it to another living thing, but your poisons do it to rats every day.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“I thought we used to kill rats?" he said, as if he wasn't quite certain anymore.
"Yes, but you see, sir, this is the future," said Maurice.
"Is it?" said Mr. Schlummer. "Really? I always wondered when the future was going to happen. Oh, well. Cats talk now, too? Well done! Got to move with the, mm, the...things that move, obviously. Wake me up when they bring the tea in.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Everything's going down the drain, and they have this little picture in their heads about how nice things could be...”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Look, what I'm saying is, you're the leader, right? So you got to act like you know what you're doing, okay? If the leader doesn't know what he's doing, no one else does, either."

"I only know what I'm doing when I'm dismantling traps," said Darktan.

"All right, think of the future as a great big trap," said Sardines. "With no cheese.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents