Austenland Quotes

“He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“What are you doing?"
"Ya!" said Jane, whirling around, her hands held up menacingly.
It was Mr. Nobley with coat, hat, and cane, watching her with wide eyes. Jane took several quick (but oh so casual) steps away from Martin's window.
"Um, did I just say, 'Ya'?"
"You just said 'Ya,'" he confirmed. "If I am not mistaken, it was a battle cry, warning that you were about to attack me.
I, uh..." She stopped to laugh. "I wasn't aware until this precise and awkward moment that when startled in a startled in a strange place, my instincts would have me pretend to be a ninja.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“If you were a woman, all I'd have to say is 'Colin Firth in a wet shirt' and you'd say 'Ah.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“For Colin Firth:
You're a really great guy, but I'm married, so I think we should just be friends.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“It's not something you tell your single best friend. It'd be like rubbing your nose in the poop of my happiness.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Miss Hayes, have you stopped to consider that you might have this all backward? That in fact you are my fantasy?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Figure out what is real for you. No use leaning on someone else's story all your life.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“He nodded. "And if I don't make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world every day of your life, then I don't deserve to be near you.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“... fantasy is not practice for what is real—fantasy is the opiate of women.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I think you just complimented me," said Jane. "You should take better care next time."
The music had started, the couples had begun a promenade, but Mr. Nobley paused to hold Jane's arm and whisper, "Jane Erstwhile, if I never had to speak with another human being but you, I would die a happy man. I would that these people, the music, the food and foolishness all disappeared and left us alone. I would never tire of looking at you or listening to you." He took a breath. "There. That compliment was on purpose. I swear I will never idly compliment you again."
Jane's mouth was dry. All she could think to say was, "But... but surely you wouldn't banish all the food."
He considered, then nodded once. "Right. We will keep the food. We will have a picnic."
And he spun her into the middle of the dance.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I'm not hopeless, that's the problem. I'm too hopeful, if anything ... I'm so thick-headed it's taken me this long to give up on men, but I can't give up completely, you know? So I ... I channel all my hope into an idea, to someone who can't reject me because he isn't real!”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Why was the judgement of the disapproving so valuable? Who said that their good opinions tended to be any more rational than those of generally pleasant people?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Miss Erstwhile: “It is such a relief, Mr. Nobley, to already know that you find this exercise vulgar and your partner unworthy. It saves us the idle chitchat.”
Mr. Nobley: “And yet you chat away.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Well do I remember the first night we met, how you questioned my opinion that first impressions are perfect. You were right to do so, of course, but even then I suspected what I've come to believe most passionately these past weeks: from that first moment, I knew you were a dangerous woman, and I was in great peril of falling in love."
She thought she should say something witty here. She said, "Really?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I need to admit up front that I don't know how to have a fling. I'm not good at playing around and then saying good-bye. I'm throwing myself at your feet because I'm hoping for a shot at forever." Henry Jenkins/Mr. Nobley”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Figure out what is real for you. No use leaning on someone else's story all your life...go make your happily-ever-after happen.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“If you're listening Big Brother, I refuse to be Fanny Price.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“What? Don't British women know how to use their knees?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I know they are naught things, but I devour novels.” (p. 57).”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Without hope, it was impossible to fantasize.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“He had the kind of face you wanted to kiss — lips, forehead, cheeks, eyelids, everywhere except his chin. That you wanted to bite.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I couldn't see what was real until time had washed away everything else.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Is this why women wear heels? thought Jane. We hobble ourselves so we can still be rescued by men?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Later, when they would spend straight hours conversing in the dark, Jane would realize that Henry kissed the way he talked- his entire attention taut, focused, intensely hers.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Why was the judgment of the disapproving so valuable? Who said that their good opinions tended to be any more rational than those of generally pleasant people?”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Figure out what is real for you. No use leaning on someone else’s story all your life.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“She was not who she'd thought she was. No one was.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“[Boyfriend #8] He left for an internship in Guatamala, a step towards his future career in international affairs. They both cried at the airport. He returned 6 months later and, didn't call. Last year, Jane heard that Bobby, 'Robert' now, was running for Congress. At a recent polling, he wasn't doing so hot in the 30-something-jilted-female demographic.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“I wasn't aware until this precise and awkward moment that when startled in a strange place, my instincts would have me pretend to be a ninja.”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland