Mogworld Quotes

“I had passed on from life, from the world of struggles and hardship and big fat women with annoying laughs, and entered a glorious new existence of utter peace, and joy, and love.
And then some git brought me back to life”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“He seemed to notice for the first time that we weren't exactly rushing to his side, but were mainly watching him as a zoo patron would watch a crazy monkey, curious but ready to move at the first sign of poo-flinging. There was a minute of awkward silence before someone near the back with their head held under their arm said "who's this twat?”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“His perpetual grin was wider than any I'd ever seen, and that included several guys I'd known at Dreadgrave's with no skin on their faces.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“The Necromancer's Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“He was obviously taking an extended holiday from reality, an option that I had to admit I was finding more and more tempting.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“I don't actually remember if I was able to get a firebolt off. I have a vague memory of seeing orange light splatter harmlessly against a spiked breastplate, but that might just have been sparks from all the metal rubbing against metal. Then there was a sound rather like a bag of wet laundry being hurled across a gravel driveway, and that was the first time I died.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“State your HURRAAARRGLAB,” went the monarch.
“Mr. Wonderful,” said the advisor, daintily wiping the king’s mouth with a hanky. “What do we keep telling you about your interrogation methods? The information’s never reliable and it really hurts our image.”
“It’s all right,” I sighed. “This is my actual face.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“You could still be a hero!"
I didn't turn. I stood and watched the dewy grass flutter innocently in the early morning sun.
"I'd rather be a protagonist," I said.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“She looked like a drama student who had been told to be a tree, then never told to stop.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“I turned to my animal instincts again, but they shrugged, out of ideas. I was going to have to come up with an actual solution.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“Anyway, something tells me that wasn’t the kind of death you come back from.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“People were starting to drift off again, as they do when words like “economy” enter the conversation,”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“The crypt had been the centerpiece of a vast graveyard that rolled away in all directions, a stark navy of gray stone slabs sailing on an ocean of dead grass.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“That's so cold. Would you just abandon me if I was useless?" A pause. "What's that look for?”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“It was like I’d spent my whole life being followed around by a man making obscene gestures behind my back, and now I’d finally turned around and caught him with his tongue out and his middle fingers up.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“Ponyleaf was tall and thin, with a curly beard and the kind of rugged tan and fidgety nervousness that comes from a career adventuring through the gnoll-and-goblin-haunted wilderness. He stepped forward, separating himself from a bored-looking Loledian dwarf and a poorly dressed Anarecsian warrioress who looked chilly in every sense of the word.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld