The Widower's Two-Step Quotes

“You could hear the stereo from the downstairs neighbors just fine. They were playing Metallica. Playing isn't really the right verb for Metallica, I guess. Grinding, maybe. Extruding.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“I decided to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I'm capable of it.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“I looked at Allison. "You're a lot of fun. But right now I want you to put down the frying pan, okay?"
"Are you crazy?"
"Put it down.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“The parrot eyed me cautiously, like he was forming a vague memory of unhappier times, before Jimmy Buffett and ganja.
"Noisy bastard," he decided.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“I suppose you will continue to screw things up unless I level with you, Navarre. Or unless I get someone to throw you in jail."
"Most likely."
"Goddamn your father."
"Amen.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“Sassy the basset hound sat up on the seat and yawned. Her tongue rolled into a long bologna canoe. She did a little shuffle on her front paws and snorted. Maybe it was a friendly greeting. Maybe she was having a doggie coronary.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“Excuse me. I didn't know I was talking to a master."
"Tres Navarre," I said. "I usually wear a t-shirt, says 'Master.' It's in the wash.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“My landlord Gary Hales was standing in his living room, watching out the window as I brought the man with the shoulder holstered gun and the black briefcase onto his property. Gary loves it when I do stuff like that.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“His office was on the third floor of the Humanities & Social Sciences Building, just down the hall from the interview room. On the office door was a Peanuts cartoon of Lucy in the psychiatrist's booth with the little DOCTOR is IN sign. Professor Mitchell, a man on the cutting edge of humor.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“I'd spoken with Milo in Spanish only enough to know that he wasn't as comfortable with it as I was. There were plenty of Latinos who would consider Milo's lack of fluency a personal insult. A cultural lobotomy.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“Fat men in tank tops drank beer while the women and children streamed back and forth between the tables and their battered station wagons, bringing ice chests and boxes of potato chips and marshmallows. A little dog was doing circles around the kids' legs. The far curb of the turnout lane was lined with semis, the cabs dark and the drivers inside sleeping or shaving or eating, staring at the horizon and thinking whatever it is truckers think.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“Miranda raised her eyebrows. Apparently she hadn't figured me for a country music fan. I liked her for that.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“I offered her a chocolate croissant. She seemed to think about it for a minute, then swung her legs onto the floor and sat up. She shook her head so her tangly black hair readjusted itself around her shoulders. She moistened her lips. Then she bypassed the chocolate croissant I was holding and went straight for the only ham and cheese. Damn. A woman with taste.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step

“Jose unfroze and began looking around the room, picking up knickknacks and checking titles on the bookshelf. The parrot cracked pistachios and watched him.
"Dickhead," the parrot said.
I gave the bird some more nuts. I believe in positive reinforcement.”
― Rick Riordan, The Widower's Two-Step