The Unidentified Redhead Quotes

“He pushed me back up against the door, slamming me against the doorbell. I heard it ring out.
"Coming!" I heard Holly say as she clicked across the floor to the front door.
"Not quite, but she’s close." He chuckled, removing his hand and leaving me breathless and rosy cheeked.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“We have to stop, this is insane. I literally cannot handle anymore. I think I’ve lost brain function. I can actually feel myself becoming stupid”
…
“Not possible. Let’s test it. What’s two times two?”
“Orange?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Twenty-four year olds were my new favourite thing. I needed to tell Oprah to put them on her list.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Grace, did you just sniff my shirt?" He asked, incredulous.
“Yep, I did. What of it? And after you leave, I’ll probably lay on your side for a while because the pillow smells like you. I’m ridiculous when I’m in love. We’re talking Hallmark over here.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Hey, if you're going to say what I think you're going to say…wait, are you going to say it?” he asked, smiling down at me.
“Yes, yes I think so.” I grinned shyly back.
“Well, then I think we should say it at the same time, yes?” he suggested.
“Count of three?” I asked. He nodded.
“One…” I started.
“Two…” he said, eyes twinkling.
“Three,” we said together. We both paused, smiling hugely, and then I took a deep breath.
“Jack, I love you.”
“I know,” he said at the same time.
Ass…
“Ass!” I said, smacking him on the arm.
“That was great!” he laughed.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Wow, girls sure do weird stuff. Especially you American girls. So much shimmer and sparkle. Who told you tits were supposed to sparkle?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Ok, look. Whenever I hear people say that they felt ‘sparks,’ I usually think it’s a load of poo. I mean, I have felt attraction to people, sure, and I have even felt some instant lust. But sparks? Please... Then he touched my skin. Sparks. Sparks. Sparks. Hot sparks. Flashing sparks. Lightning bolt sparks. J esus, Mary, and Joseph sparks.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“I got shagged in Santa Barbara, and all I got was this fantastic orgasm.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“The guy looks young enough to be your kid, Grace.
Yes, but only if I’d really slutted it up in junior high…”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Yeah, she's right here. She's in the shower, in fact…Oh, Jack! I told Grace the funniest joke about the British invading her hoo—Wait, what?…Hold on…Grace, Jack would like you to know that he has seen the pictures and he thinks you were pointing that shrimp at him far too aggressively…No, she isn't acknowledging you. She's now banging her head against the shower tiles…Oops, now she's glaring at me…she's turning off the shower, Jack…she's coming towards me…she's naked, Jack…and angry…she's naked and angry, Jack…you would probably love angry, naked Grace. It's something to see. She's hitting me, Jack…I think she's going to take the phone away from…”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Fuck, he's pretty.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“It's always the accent that drives you American women crazy. I'd no idea you fancied it, too…” he trailed off.
“Oooh, fancied it. Say more like that,” I begged, smiling into the pillow.
“Like what, Grace?”
“Talk British to me,” I whispered, only half joking.
“Dustbins.”
“More,” I encouraged.
“Crumpets.”
“More!” I demanded.
“Knickers.”
If I could hear Jack Hamilton say a second word for the rest of my life, it would be knickers.
“Say put another shrimp on the barbie!” I cried.
“Grace, that's Australian,” he chided.
“Say it!”
“Fine. Put another shrimp on the barbie. Bloody hell,” he muttered.
“Aaaahhhhhhh!” I screamed into the phone.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“And a fire in the fireplace? Wow, that’s impressive.” I continued, walking backwards into the room.
“Yeah, I saw it in a book about how to woo women… apparently you all like to be boinked in front of a roaring fire.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, Miss Thing,” Nick said, turning his gaze to me. “You still fantasize over Joe McIntyre like you are thirteen years old!”
“Oh, I own my obsession. If Joey Joe were here right now, I’d break him. I have no shame.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Oh , God, the British Have landed, Haven't they?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“The tension was so thick in the room, it was too much. He was too much. I couldn’t take the pressure, so I panicked. Sexy and in control Grace left and twelve-year-old Grace took her place. “Heh, heh, you said nuts,” I burst out. My self-edit button was now turned off for good.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“So, how is the British invasion going? Has he invaded your hoohah yet?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Hey, man, I'm old school. Don't make me bust out the Easy-E and the N.W.A I will got straight up gangsta on your ass. No one is more hardcore than a rich, suburban white girl.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“He totally came up here to see you. Girl, you are on.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“OK snark, settle. You're telling me you don't have the tiniest crush on him? Tell the truth, Grace," she said, cornering me over by the dishwasher.
"I don't have a crush," I debated.
"Well, maybe I have half a crush. I have a 'cruh'," I admitted, giggling.
"But it's strickly Joshua inspired," I added, knowing that was not entirely true.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“There's all kinds of stuff on the internet. You could've Googled it." he stated. still moving his hand closer. I could feel the energy between us begin to hum again. "I think that you should go Google yourself, Brit boy. I'm not interested in Googling you .”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Did you feel that?” he asked, concern crossing his face. “Yeah, I felt it. You too?” I answered, flirting back. “No, I mean, yes, obviously I felt that, but didn’t you feel that hit your head?” he asked, beginning to grin broadly. “What are you talking about?” I asked, raising my hand up to my hair. “Oh, Jesus, Grace, a seagull just shit on your head,” he stated, beginning to shake. “What?”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“If it was perfect, we would be rolling around on the sand together, kissing like mad.” I stopped walking and looked him straight in the eye. Then I lay down on the sand, and began to roll myself back and forth. He closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sky. “Fucking nuts girl,” he sighed.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Grace does not share ice cream. She does, however, talk about herself in the third person.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“He was the yin to my yang, the frick to my frack, the melba toast to my Chex.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Because this was real life. And in real life, you are tested, simple as that. We’d be tested, and we’d have to see how we did.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“There was a hickey on the side of my neck the size of a quarter. I looked like I had argued with a Hoover and the Hoover won. Jesus.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Grace, I will focus on nothing else in life until you come. I will start it and I will fucking finish it.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“Even though all of that other stuff was there and would eventually have to be dealt with, I was now beyond the point of being able to resist. I was going to let my body take over and my brain worry about something else. All the mental junk got pushed to the side and placed in a box titled, “Grace Will Deal With You Later, She Is Now Being Run By Her Oonie.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

“We engaged in the random chitchat that people do, wrapped up in each other and looking at the stars.”
― Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead