The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning Quotes

“War kills everybody, including the ones who live.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“No, it's not gun-holder, it's Gunhilda.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“It feels kind of cool to come back from work every day without having killed anybody.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“(War either makes you a fascist or a fag.)”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Eine Nation ist sowohl die Summe unserer Stärken als auch unserer Dummheit. Im Krieg gehorchen die Ersten der Letzteren.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Krieg ist eine bescheuerte Sache, doch trotzdem mussten wir ihn führen. Mussten. Fragt mich nicht, warum. Wir mussten.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Mein gutes altes kroatisches Herz beschleunigte von Walzer zu Death Metal.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Seinfeld was typically American in that show. He was a pretty funny guy, but he had no sense of style. Tacky like a Texan tux. Tasteless dressing and tasteful jokes. That's Seinfeld for me. I would have preferred it the other way around.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“At least God never showed his face in Iceland. Olie tells me it wasn’t even created by him. No wonder it’s the most peaceful country in the world.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Gott weiß, wie schwer es mir fällt Beziehungen zu genießen. Ich verhalte mich immer wie ein Geheimdienstler, der seinen Partner als Doppelagent enttarnen will.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Der Krieg stellt Fragen, auf die der Frieden keine Antwort hat.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Aber wenn man unter Einsatz seines Lebens für etwas gekämpft hat, kann man es einfach nicht richtig genießen.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und mit dem Abwasch zu beginnen

“Я смотрю из окна, как они садятся в свой шикарный внедорожник. У верующих почему-то всегда лучшие машины. Господь знает, чем награждать свою паству. Он же понимает: чтобы попасть в рай, нужен автомобиль повышенной проходимости.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Когда ты долго за что-то борешься, ты уже не способен испытывать настоящую радость от результата.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Я хорватский католик. В этом нет ничего религиозного. Это всего лишь означает, что за свою жизнь ты должен посетить церковь два раза. На венчание и отпевание.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Печально, но моим одноногим собратьям по сей день приходится сражаться за свою жизнь. Они ковыляют на костылях по улицам Загреба и Сплита с кружкой для милостыни. Наши правители забыли про них, а ведь их власть стоит на ампутированных солдатских ногах.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Исландия - это безоружный, абортолюбивый, гейский рай без всякой смертной казни.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Life is very simple. It’s just either dead meat or moving meat.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Yeah, but I’m a Croatian Catholic. There’s nothing religious about that. It only means you go to church two times in your life. When you marry and when you die.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“I’m stuck in traffic on the highway to hell.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“The mustached Polish guy turned out to be a mustached FBI guy.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“My mother calls once a year to ask when I’m going back to studies. This is Croatian slang for “the money’s up.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Like many from Lazy America, she is short, and some people have called her fat, but those people haven’t talked much after that.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Some of his blood splattered into Munita’s glass of wine. I didn’t tell her. She was having red anyway.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“My mother named me Tomislav, and my father was a Bokšić. After my first week in the US, I’d become Tom Boksic. Which then led to Toxic.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Majka mi je dala ime Tomislav, a otac mi se prezivao Bokšić. Nakon nedelju dana u Sjedinjenim Državama, postao sam Tom Boksik. Što je onda postalo Toksik.
Ono što sam danas.
Često se pitam jesam li ja taj koji je otrovao svoje ime ili je moje ime otrovalo mene. U svakom slučaju, donosim opasnost.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“En stund gråter hun. Jeg vil tro at det er fordi hun er gravid. En gang sa Munita at gravide kvinner lett tar til tårene. Det har visstnok noe å gjøre med at det dannes så mye fostervann i livmoren at det flommer over iblant.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“Hver gang hun føler seg trengt opp i et hjørne, bryter hun ut i: «Nei, for du er vel mer vant til å håndtere lik, du.» Eller: «Du tåler det bare ikke når folk gjør noe så kjedelig som å puste eller snakke, du.» Eller: «Kan du ikke bare kverke meg, da?» Men bortsett fra det er alt fint.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“«Dere må kjenne deres fiender! Dere skal være klar over at Synden er den farligste fienden! Og dere må aldri be Synden hjem til dere! Be aldri Synden på middag! IKKE ENGANG SPANDER EN KOPP KAFFE PÅ SYNDEN‼!»”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“På dagtid er det bare oss to. Balatov og meg. Foruten å bekjentgjøre sine seksuelle preferanser seks ganger om dagen stinker han som hestemøkk marinert i bensin. Dessuten bruker han enhver anledning til gjøre seg til kompis. «Jeg vise deg bilde av svart. Er på rom. Kom.»”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning