Jen Harris’s Reviews > Practicing Forgiveness: A Path Toward Healing > Status Update
Jen Harris
is on page 134 of 240
So when is reconciliation beneficial? To answer this question, consider what it would be like to reconcile with the person who was harmful or hurtful. Beyond feelings for the offender - having care, compassion, and empathy - also consider the extent to which reconciliation would be responsible and healthy. There is a practical aspect to this process, and what may be envisioned may be idealistic and not practical.
— Jan 17, 2025 05:43PM
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Jen’s Previous Updates
Jen Harris
is on page 152 of 240
This was a really good chapter, and all my blurbs are too long for this section. So all my favorite parts will be listed in the comments again.
— Jan 18, 2025 07:20PM
Jen Harris
is on page 95 of 240
I was too tired to finish the whole chapter. It's not my favorite so far, but maybe it'll get better when I'm able to stay awake and read more.
— Jan 16, 2025 06:26PM
Jen Harris
is on page 84 of 240
Eventually, an individual who has experienced conflict with another and feels wronged will have to decide on whether reconciliation with the offender is beneficial, whether the offender has sufficiently changed, and whether a renegotiated relationship is possible and healthy. Exploring feelings related to the offender is an important influence in choosing a path toward interpersonal or intrapersonal forgiveness.
— Jan 15, 2025 06:04PM
Jen Harris
is on page 62 of 240
"So, we have some control over how we feel but not complete control. We can think about moments that make us feel happy or sad, and that might affect our current mood. But then there are moments that just happen to us, and our feelings are more like automatic reflexes."
— Jan 14, 2025 05:57PM
Jen Harris
is on page 41 of 240
Chapter 2 was really good! (I'll post more in the comments)
"Perceiving someone as having value and abandoning the desire for revenge (decisional forgiveness) is quite different from abandoning negative feelings and replacing them with positive feelings toward an offender (emotional forgiveness)."
— Jan 13, 2025 05:43PM
"Perceiving someone as having value and abandoning the desire for revenge (decisional forgiveness) is quite different from abandoning negative feelings and replacing them with positive feelings toward an offender (emotional forgiveness)."
Forgiveness goes beyond understanding the perpetrator. The offering of forgiveness and reconciliation requires strength not only to recover from a past offense but also to provide the offender a chance to make things right at the risk of further harm.
If reconciliation is going to be beneficial, this will usually involve evidence of some remorse or change in behavior on the part of the offender. When an offender is remorseful and commits to a change in behavior, reconciliation becomes a possibility.
You may need to come to terms with the idea that what you wanted from this person you will never receive. Or you may need to work on forging a new path with a person who caused hurt or pain.