Max’s Reviews > Anthropology: And a Hundred Other Stories > Status Update
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Max
is on page 74 of 208
Innocence
[…] The parrot was in the church. When the man asked whether anyone knew a reason for us not to marry, it squawked, ‘Cunt flaps.’ My bride bent double with laughter, and even though we made our vows I knew the marriage was over.
— Jul 24, 2024 11:07AM
[…] The parrot was in the church. When the man asked whether anyone knew a reason for us not to marry, it squawked, ‘Cunt flaps.’ My bride bent double with laughter, and even though we made our vows I knew the marriage was over.
Max
is on page 24 of 208
Coping
[…] When the shop’s shut, I cope by telling myself that my favourite picture of her is real. I spend my evenings at the piano, singing love songs to her photographed face, and occasionally licking the black keys because they remind me of her skin.
— Jul 21, 2024 07:52AM
[…] When the shop’s shut, I cope by telling myself that my favourite picture of her is real. I spend my evenings at the piano, singing love songs to her photographed face, and occasionally licking the black keys because they remind me of her skin.
The night before our wedding day, my fiancée and I had a romantic meal. She held my hand. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Thank you so much for marrying me. You’re just so wonderful taking me on. Me and my three ugly children.’ I was horrified. It was the first I’d heard of these three ugly children, and I wanted to know more. She explained that she hadn’t told me about them in case they put me off her. ‘Come and meet your new daddy,’ she called, and they ran into the room. Their faces were covered in jam. They were horrible.